Shift & Thought

I've found my perspectives shifting completely in the last week. Things I used to spend time and emotional energy on simply don't matter that much anymore. Take today for example - I went to the mall without bothering to put on a stitch of make-up and thought nothing of it. My nails haven't seen polish for a week either (if I'd had any on, it would probably have ended up in a bit of the engine somewhere anyway). Before this I wouldn't dare venture out unless I had checked the mirror and put on at least some face junk. If I did go out, I'd feel bad if I saw someone I knew. Now - hey, this is me! And no-one has cringed yet... :) Basically, I find myself paying more attention to who I am than how I look - focusing on the me I let out too seldom to play.

I'm less addicted to indoor persuits, and spend cash less liberally too - rather saving it for an experience than wasting it on possessions or treats that don't last. I guess I'll be spending a lot of time again on the computer once back at work (yup, holiday's up!), but have left off my usual computer-related addictions in many ways. Now I'll glance at it in passing instead of hovering continuously before the glowing screen.

I popped in to work to water the plants this week (mental note: plant tomato & basil seedlings for sunny office windowsill) and was told I'm looking rested and relaxed - and it's true! I may have mellowed a bit over this holiday. I know a lot of the worries and concerns, the politics and opinions that used to bug me a while ago now no longer matter. It's as if I've had my eyes opened to a Bigger picture - where all this mindless muddling around in mediocrity doesn't amount to very much at all.

I've regained an inner strength that I lost in recent months. I've healed bits that got very damaged, and let anger slide off into nothingness. My values have shifted subtley toward deeper, wider and more long-lasting ideals. And I've realized that I can take control of my life with confidence, knowing I have the ability to steer it toward whatever course I can dream. I am confident that I have what it takes, an inbred will to survive and live and "suck the marrow out of life" that isn't going to die.

A friend recently suggested an email "thought of the day" subscription. Today's hit home - as they have been doing every single day. It spoke so vividly, that I'm posting it here.

From the DailyOM:
Residing At The Helm - Being Your Own Village

Simple survival requires us to be in possession of many skills. The pursuit of dreams requires many more. Most individuals rely on the support of a village, whether peopled by relatives or community members, to effectively address the numerous ways we need assistance. This can mean anything from asking favors of acquaintances and leaning on loved ones for support to paying a skilled artisan to handle specialized tasks. However, each human being is born with the capacity to be their own village. We embody many roles throughout our lifetimes, all of which are representative of our capacity for self-sufficiency and self-determination. In different moments in our lives, we are our own counselor, janitor, caregiver, cook, healer, teacher, and student. Our willingness to joyfully take on these roles grants us the power to maintain control over the direction our life's journey takes.

In times past, human beings learned all of the skills needed for survival. Today, the majority of people specialize in a single discipline, which they hone throughout their lives. Thus, many of us feel uncomfortable standing at the helm of our own existence. We question our ability to make decisions concerning our own health, happiness, and welfare, and are left feeling dependent and powerless. But the authority to take ultimate responsibility for our lives is simply a matter of believing that we have the necessary faith and intelligence to cope with any circumstance the universe chooses to place in our path. Proving that we can each be our own villages through action enables us to accept that we are strong enough to exist autonomously. Cooking, cultivating a garden of fruits and vegetables, undertaking minor home repair, or adopting a healthier lifestyle can help you reassert your will.

Being your own village does not mean embracing isolation, for a balanced life is built upon the dual foundations of the inner and the outer villages. Rather, being your own village is a celebration of your wondrous inner strength and resourcefulness, as well as an acknowledgment of your innate ability to capably steer the course of your life.