Paths

Been giving some thought to the paths our lives take, after reading this over the weekend, via DailyOM:

When delays in our progress kindle pangs of disappointment within us or the pace of life seems overwhelming, peace can be found in the simple fact that we are exactly where we need to be at this moment.

Have you ever sat down and traced the paths that led you to where you stand right now? Considered that a single choice may have put you somewhere completely different?

It's amazing to track back, to follow those seemingly-insignificant, yet deeply life-changing decisions made along the way. If you had gone through with that plan to travel, or if you hadn't turned back at that precise moment, or perhaps listened to your gut when it told you to do something - how different things might have been. Our ways constantly intersect the paths of others - some of them follow ours in parallel, others veer off after a brief connection - all of them have some influence in where we walk on our journey.

The thing with paths is they're not straight. We don't know where the fork in the road will lead. When it comes to those forks and we're faced with a choice, sometimes it's difficult to know the right path. This, for me, is where that gut feeling I wrote about kicks in. When I can't imagine or understand where to go next, I follow the road that feels right.

I haven't always done that. There have been times where I've gone down the wrong road in exchange for an initial euphoria, knowing there could be a cliff to fall off over the rise. Many times I have - sometimes I've been lucky, and managed to cling to the edge until a new path shows me the way forward.

Do we choose what paths we follow? We try to - we decide what to study after school, where to work, who to marry (or not marry). We decide on a lifestyle, we choose friends. We say we're in control of our lives, have a 5-year plan (do those ever work out?), are working our way up the success ladder.

But somehow I don't think we really have that much choice! We can't factor in everything, nor set out the true direction we will travel. We don't know each morning what our lives will be like by evening - whether a loved one will be snatched from our lives, or that carefully-plotted career shattered. We don't know if crossing the road will be the last thing we do on earth, or if the best thing ever is just around the bend.

Yet I wonder if we can create a path, where none seemed to be before. Can conciously choose "this is what I want, though I don't yet know how to get there or even what it will look like when I do", and so influence what road we travel? I wonder if taking our dreams and energy and throwing them forward can forge a route to follow. Just as letting fear and doubt get the upper hand can obliterate a path we might have walked. If we embrace the things that make our hearts sing, and shun the ones that drag us down - can we influence the paths that we will walk? Will doing that influence the roads that intersect ours?

One more quote from the same source as above:

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers-all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the new life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to notify us that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honor our fear, recognizing its arrival, listening to its intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by journaling. Writing down whatever comes up-your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes-is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.