Of (South African) Men - and the Dating thing

So I'm traipsing round my walk route today (which is up to about 12km now, at a pace), and doing my usual "speck out the neighbourhood" thing - Landy spotting (14 today), bird seeking (REALLY close Gymnogene), hi to the regular walkers and joggers and labourers going home - and I realize that every second car has a damn-fine South African man driving it.

Which made me realize I don't appreciate our South African men nearly as much as I should. I mean, you walk the length of the mall and by the time you're done, you should be leaving a drool trail! I remember flying back from the USA, where I saw no good-looking men in an entire 3 1/2 months (sorry USA readers.. :-) perhaps I was in the wrong place/s), and as I boarded the SAA flight London to Cape Town, a stream of the most delicious men with South African accents filled up the plane! I remember thinking "man, I'm glad I'm South African"... :-)

So while I was walking and realizing I don't appreciate our men enough, it also hit me that perhaps I need to start dating these creatures again. I mean, it's been ten years for goodness sake. OK - it was time-out that I needed in many ways, but I've also been a total dating wimp. I've struggled to date and parent - so simply chucked the dating in favour of full-on parenting. (Didn't help that my last date stood me up, nor that I've been told repeatedly "guys don't go for single moms".) Too much hassle, too much time and effort required, and I had long ago outgrown picking up weirdo's in bars and clubs. The only "dating" I've done in ages has been long-distance online stuff, and that probably doesn't count. I mean, if you don't feel like talking to the guy, you can just tell him your internet connection failed... for days.... :-) Instead of dealing with the everyday back-and-forth effort that a relationship takes.

But now my son's a teen. He's probably going to end up with a girlfriend within months as high school hits - half his friends are already at it, and have been for some time (he did mention "getting a girlfriend" as one of the few reasons he may want to attend high school). So I'm going to have to play taxi soon, then amuse myself for a couple of hours while he does his thing. Other moms are in the thick of it, my turn's coming! Which will leave me with time on my hands, and I don't think I should be twiddling my thumbs all alone. Then there's the fact that he doesn't need me quite as constantly as he has in the past. Although he says "no, you can't date", he's at an age where I could without causing a huge upset, and besides, it's my life... :-) It's about time a couple of things changed around here anyway - no more sitting home and being anti-social.

OK, so I'm not going to go out man-hunting. Not at all my style! Nor am I looking for a husband, or a dad for the kid - or even a very serious relationship. Nah - just a toe in the water, an openness to the idea if you will, seeing what's out there and being available for a change.

The thing is, I've discovered a new energy lately, a new "lus" for life, a new shot of confidence - the kind that makes you lift your eyes from the ground and notice what's happening around you, gets you more involved in human interaction and the pulse of the planet. And yes - I'm noticing that we are indeed blessed with some fine male specimens, some of whom I wouldn't mind getting to know a bit better. I've made a couple of new connections in various ways, and it's nowhere as hard as I thought it to be.

We'll see though - there's still the dilemma of where and how to meet people without hanging out in strange and dodgy places (or scaring them by being forward and saying "hey - wanna grab a coffee?"). Heck - I'm not even sure I could define what I mean by "dating" right now! Other than a shift in perspective on my part - being present in society more than home wearing slippers. Gotta let go of a few damaging self-perceptions too, one of them being that I'm not worthy of anyone amazing whom I may aspire to know better. So what if I'm not perfect - who is!?

Perhaps getting out and about in Olivia is a start. That vehicle's a total guy-magnet!!! :-)

::update::
OK, OK - before I have half the female population on my back, I do realize not all South African men are yummy. Some are downright frightening! :-) However there are also those who merely border on delicious, who you may not ogle outright, but who have more than a little endearingness to them - and sometimes the marvellousness that they are totally overrides any outward appearances. I'm objective - I'm not shallow. We'll see what happens. :-)