Overfull

It's late. Waaayyy past my normal bedtime. I can feel the over-tired that kicked in a while ago, but here I am - still up. Still at it. Working on things that probably need more concentration than I can rightly muster.

Funny how sometimes I work better when my eyes are propped open with matchsticks. Not often, but sometimes. When I have to push myself beyond what's comfortable into that Zone where things get done.

Tonight it's my brain that's overfull, that's keeping me up. The quest for accommodation continues, and is not looking too hopeful. The Landy does have a rooftop tent, but I don't think the piano and dogs will fit inside.. :-) I have a long list of requirements including affordability, and that's where we're falling down in the search. The areas I'm looking in are beyond our reach financially - the areas that are affordable are beyond our reach practically. I'm hoping for a compromise, or perhaps the perfect place, when I pick up the new edition of the weekly newspaper first thing tomorrow morning.

In the meantime the house is starting to collect boxes. Shelves are emptying, cardboard's piling up in faith. Little by little our lives are being sorted into squares and rectangles, arranged to fit with the lid down tight. I'm taking this opportunity to get rid of clutter and stuff we really don't need, moving only what we want to keep. Or at least that's the plan - I'm more likely to chuck it all into the moving van and sort it out later. Which is why my current garage still contains barely-looked-at boxes from the move 10 years ago.. :-)

There are other things on my mind tonight too. Like why can't I say what I feel so many times? What's holding me back? And things like, what am I prepared to give up to follow a dream? There's also "why the hell am I not yet in bed and sleeping..." - that overtired thing is starting to cycle back to must-sleep mode. Yet hitting the sheets now will mean another hour of toss-and-turn as my thoughts attempt to drip out my ears and make way for rest.

Yeah, it's late - sometimes I don't make sense! :-)

Have you ever tried to write down that amazing thought in the middle of the night - only to find out it's utter nonsense in the morning? Wonder if I'll feel the same way about this post come daylight.