Coming Unstuck

Although life is moving rapidly on in all sorts of good directions, I admit I've been feeling stuck lately - as if my feet are mired down in thick mud that's making it hard to do what I need to do, difficult to get where I need to be. A shot of terror coursing through the veins now and then hasn't helped, and a part of me still just wants to escape.

But I don't have a choice. I have to come unstuck. I have to deal with a variety of things, and do it now. Even if it's wearing me down, wearing me out.

While sorting and cleaning and throwing things into boxes this weekend, it's given me a little space and time to let my mind work while my hands are busy. I'm still not sure what conclusions I've come to or will still come to. There's a lot of tough stuff that needs dealing with all at the same time. Yet I know I have the strength to do so, and am slowly finding the courage too.

Today I'm struggling. I'm second-guessing a lot of things and wondering if I've got it right or wrong. I could do with a clear, floodlit path saying "THAT way" - but life never gives us one, does it. Instead we're required to forge ahead in faith, hoping that we've guessed the right road to be on, and if necessary making it the right road.

Sometimes you need quiet to think. Sometimes too much quiet is a bad thing. I'm not sure which one I'm at today. I suspect a few deep breaths and some chocolate may help though.. :-)

Nice how sorting one big thing helps you get going on the others. One of the biggest battles I've had this week is finally acquiring internet banking - it's taken days of endless queries, autoresponse "thank you for your email"s, and one physical trip to the bank. Their instructions are both minimal and unhelpful, until I finally raised a real-live person who told me EXACTLY what no other instructions stated, and which needed doing.

Today I am finally an Internet Banker. Now that I have a handle on that essential bit of life, I can move on to others.

Sometimes all it takes to come unstuck is one firm step in the right direction.