Let there be... Light???

I now know how to change the headlight unit of a Ford Sierra. I know where to get one, to start with - at a decent price. I know what to ask for, so I don't end up with the wrong unit. Changing it... well it did take some doing.

Step one - shake it voilently to find out where it's connected. Undo all the bolts you think are relevent (size 10). Shake some more, discover you actually undid things you didn't really need to. Undo the OTHER ones.

Step two - attempt to prise it out the back. Beware all that broken glass! Wonder how the heck that metal clip thingy got on in the first place.

Step three - realize there really is only one way to do this. Off comes the front of the car - the plastic fascia & grill - 4 screws (star).

Step four - remove old light.

Step five - put in new light and jiggle it around until most of the bolt-holes line up. Semi-secure two of the three required bolts. Re-attach front of car. Realize the third bolt ain't going in, but tighten the others - it will do.

Step six - the most difficult one. Try to find out how the heck that little bent piece of wire keeps the lightbulb in. Take about half an hour of fiddling, and eventually make do, though it's probably all wrong.

Step seven - try lights.

Step eight. Swear. Repeatedly. Still no light on that side, and only a dim one on the other side.

Step nine - give up, go get into bed, sweat and sleep off the seriously-ill stuff you're down with, which the icy cold gale-force wind only made worse. Realize you're not going to be able to talk, and it's less painful to even try (if only the kid would realize this and quit asking you to repeat yourself).

Step ten - get up, change lightbulb, figure out wire thingie again - give up and make do. Test lights. Still no light.

Step eleven - put away tools, lock car, dump old unit in rubbish and go inside to find a warm jersey.

Yup, I know how to change the headlight unit. How to actually produce light - nope.

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