Perception

Ever noticed how you have the strangest dreams and thoughts when you're taking an afternoon nap? And how sometimes you sleep more soundly in that hour or so than you ever can manage at night? Well, being Saturday - afternoon nap time it was!

And I woke up with all sorts of things going around in my head (these darn vitamins are doing things to me.. :-) ). The very last thought was all about perception.

I've noticed it in photos of me - I think "that doesn't look like me!". I have a totally different image of myself in my head, so look askance at the reality others see when it comes out on digital.

There's the voice I hear in my head too (no, not the "voices"...). When I hear my recorded voice it sounds so very different to what I think I sound like!

But the big difference comes in with how others perceive me. Let's say you only read this blog - you know nothing more about me than what I write here. You'd get a certain idea of who I am from the words on this screen, and assume that's the real me. Or perhaps you read one of my other blogs - with a different angle on things - and assume that's the whole me. You may not read ANY of my blogs, but know me in person. Or at least know who you think I am in person, since I may not say a lot in your presence or give much of myself away. Maybe all you know about me is a couple brief lines via Skype or GChat or an email - again, merely words typed on a screen.

All of this ends up filtered through your worldview - the reality you see thanks to who you are. You might notice things about me I'm not aware of, or jump to conclusions and assume you know what I'm on about - when perhaps I'm on about something completely different! :-) I may remind you of someone you used to know, or something you thought you'd forgotten. I might sound arrogant, or depressed, or weird, or funny, or crazy, or normal - all depends on how you perceive what I say and do.

I've mentioned before that there are very few people who know me completely - quite possibly not enough to tick off the fingers on one hand. Circumstance, fear of judgement, opportunity or choice might mean parts of myself are never fully revealed. Some have simply never taken enough time, dug deep enough to understand what makes me tick. If you were to get everyone who knows anything about me together, add in my pen & ink journal and blogs, and pool all that knowledge - you may end up with a fair idea of who I am. Yet probably not all of it. In spite of regularly spouting off about everything and nothing here, there are still bits no-one knows anything about. There are still parts only some people know - sometimes only one person knows. There are still facets that end up getting the most exposure in some situations, but completely hidden in others.

And the same goes for every one of us! We only really know what we perceive about each other, filtered through how our brains work and dependent on what we choose to share.

Is it any wonder we all too often misunderstand each other? :-)