Self-therapy

Quite unexpectedly this week I had something dug up from way into my subconcious, an attitude and decision that goes back at least 15 years if not more, that has languished forgotten way below everything else but affected me in ways I hadn't fully realized or remembered.

Yet suddenly it resurfaced. I'm not going to go into details here, but it gave me a few rather restless nights, and one nearly sleepless one. I was tempted to bury it for another 15 years, to simply ignore the issue and let it slide again, do my usual response and carry on as if nothing had happened.

Except it had. Somehow this one needed airing, thinking about, and sorting out. Now.

I don't know why I put it off for all those years. Why I avoided sitting still and working it through until I had direction, closure and a solid road ahead. Although it may be one of the hardest things yet to do and still scares me deep down more than a little, I've sorted it. I've dusted it off, examined it closely, spotted the holes, the why's and wherefore's and sent it on its way. Choices made, attitudes adjusted, every angle and scenario thought out and confirmed - I'm strong enough for this one after all, able to face what I feared, look it in the eye without flinching.

A whole lot cheaper than paying someone to listen to me... :-)