Quiet

October 20, 2003. Nearly 4 years ago. That's the day I started blogging.

Between then and now a lot of words have flowed out on screen and into the wide world of cyberspace. I've grown and changed and aged - so many things have happened between then and now, both good and bad.

When I started to blog a lot of folk were very surprised that I had so much to say. That I had an opinion on everything, and long rambling thoughts of my own. That I had big dreams and a wild imagination, that I had a dry sense of humour and quirky view of life in general. That I had an endless supply of words, and barely ever shut up.

And why were they surprised?

Because for most of my life I've not said much at all. I'm the quiet one, the background chick - no loud personality, no strident arguments put forth, and usually too timid to tell a joke in case it falls flat. The observer, the listener, the mouse.

Blogging opened up the dam - let me speak my words with time to think between them, let me delete things that were said in error, let me ponder and portray what was going on inside me without generating brash impressions of the wrong type.

At least in cyberspace. Usually.

But sometimes I do wonder if I should return to being the quiet one both online and off. To keeping my thoughts to myself and not reacting too quickly or saying much of anything at all. To simply keeping my mouth shut, all the time, saying only what is minimally necessary.

Because - sometimes, regularly, too often - I tend to only open my mouth to put my foot, nay both feet, straight into it. And more often than not it doesn't only affect me.