Wishful Thinking

It's been a very long time since someone flipped the bird at me in traffic...

This weekend I was driving Favourite Man's Landy - sticking to the speed limit on pretty empty roads - when I noticed the roof of a low white car in my rear-view mirror. Only the roof, cos he was right up my exhaust pipe! He followed me around a turn, and then when the road widened to two lanes I pulled over and gave him space. Only to have him speed up until next to me, wave to get my attention, throw me the finger for holding him up - and speed off in his little white Chrysler!

How damn rude. On those empty roads he could easily have overtaken me at any time. There's no way I was going to speed - tickets are not only avoidable but seriously not worth the few extra seconds you gain breaking the law. Yet this idiot saw fit to be extremely rude.

I shouldn't have let it get to me, but for some reason I was very pissed off for a good few hours after that. Retrospect says I should have shown him the "little finger" in response - the one that indicates his muscle car is making up for a serious lack in other areas.... But retrospect doesn't help much at the time.

Other things I would have liked?

* To be driving Olivia - so I could ram him with my mega-strong bumper or at least give him a blast of the air-horns and a flash of the 16 lights on the front of her.
* Or to make as if I were going to turn into him in Favourite Man's truck and give him such a fright he veered off the road and messed up his chassis in the divider fynbos.
* Or perhaps that lovely flame-throwing anti-hijack device installed - one blast of fire spurting from the sides of my trucks would give him a nasty burn down that new white paint.
* Or maybe to see him miss the turn up ahead and flip his car.
* Or to have sped up, passed him, cut him off, then hauled him out his car and beaten him up with a tyre iron. Yes, girls can do that.
* Or to have noted his registration number and splashed it around the internet as "idiot in transit".

All these nasty, wishful-thinking thoughts. None of which would have helped much in the moment. But I console myself with a single thought. Karma will get him. :-)