Microlyzed

I'm not good at being micro-managed. I hate being told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. I am not at all fond of having my to-do list hijacked or just plain decimated. I can't work when someone's peering over my shoulder, listening in.

Instead of micro-management achieving what it set out to do (make me work harder in whatever area the doler-out requires) it paralyzes me to inaction. Maybe it's an instinctive rebellion kicking in, but I simply stop working altogether. Or at least can't get anything done effectively and wander around in circles.

Microlyzed.

The thing is this. Micro-management is a lack of trust - a power and control thing (in my view). It says "you're not mature enough / old enough / wise enough / capable enough to manage yourself, so I'll do it for you". Yet I've made it to 36 successfully, been a single mom for many years without the kid perishing, and can navigate rush-hour traffic / the weekend grocery aisle without undue stress. I know what I can and can't do, what I'm good at and what I shouldn't even attempt. I've excelled at many tasks when left to simply do them - when micro-managed into their completion it's a whole other story.

So you'd think I'd stand up for myself and say "Oi, just let me do my job and stop giving me yours - stop constantly checking up on me and looking over my shoulder, ok?"!

But no, I'm unfortunately the type who likes to please people, not make waves, be of service. So I become the micro-managed doormat, loaded down with jobs that have nothing to do with me, while my to-do list languishes unattended to and postponed, increasingly frustrated that what I plan never seems to be done...