"Everybody needs good neighbours"

If only the world worked like the song. Generally speaking we have OK neighbours. We're on friendly terms with most of them, bar one curtain-twitcher - but there are a group right opposite that are driving us batty.

The house stood empty for nearly a year after I moved in, and then some greasy looking bloke turned up with a string of very dodgy friends in tow. He's a quiet enough chap, pleasant when we see him. But he is a night-lifer. During the day the house is locked up and quiet - at night it becomes Grand Central Station.

We're convinced there are drug-related activities going on. While going to the shops one night I found him parked at an angle in the road after attempting to negotiate a slight curve, pale and sweating and obviously high as a kite. I drove gingerly around him and when he finally made it off the curb kept well away from him in traffic.

Over weekends he leaves the house without fail at 3 in the morning, returning a few hours later. The chick that turns up to visit him seems to be "in ill health" - if she hasn't had a recent fix. The guys that turn up to visit him are rough and low-life with falling-apart vehicles.

A month ago two of his cronies arrived early on a Saturday morning and started trying to beat his door down, shouting his name and making complete nuisances of themselves. Favourite Man eventually stormed out and chased them off, as the security guys called weren't getting anywhere asking nicely.

Lately we've had a bigger problem. A guy with a 2-stroke bike, the loudest I've ever heard, has taken to coming and going all hours of the night. But not just coming and going... no, he first has to rev the bike to the max to warm it up, then he goes. After waking up everyone within a 1km vicinity, and especially those of us just across the road.

On Monday it was around 2 in the morning. Then he came back at 3, and left just as we were falling asleep again. This morning he was on his cellphone outside before 5, then buzzed off (literally) at 5 - he's back now. He'd better not attempt it again tonight or there's no telling what some of us might do...

It's getting to be a big problem for everyone around them. No wonder there are vengeful schemes being pondered among the neighbours.