Remember that customer I had to fire recently for being the 1% that gave me 95% of the company trouble?

Well this afternoon, as I was about to go out, a car stopped at my front door. "Meneer die Inspector" from the South African Police climbed out and asked to have a word. It seems the Former Customer, whose internet disappeared promptly at midnight on the 31st (with fair two-week warning), has decided to try make life exceedingly difficult - and went to the police to lodge a theft accusation!

Favourite Man and I sat with our mouths open as his statement was read out. Apparently we stole half a computer and an antenna from him, along with a variety of other accusations, none of which was remotely true.

In fact it's quite the opposite! We pimped a computer he wanted to use as a firewall by putting in bits from our own stock (at no cost). Then, instead of returning his bird-pooped antenna to him, bought him a brand new one to give him in lieu of it - along with its accompanying radio, antenna cables etc.

During his time with us, we bent over backwards when it came to customer service - I was called out at all hours, day and night, weekend and not, to attend to things that generally turned out to be user errors or nothing at all. At no cost to him, of course.

Then there was the time we were working on an upgrade on a Sunday, switched off the router for the grand total of 4 minutes to swap two cables around, and had him on the phone literally within 30 seconds demanding his internet back so he could carry on abusing his uncapped link (here in South Africa, nearly all internet is bandwidth-capped - we're one of the few who offer an uncapped service).

No, we didn't bite his head off for anything - simply did our best to give him the best service possible right up until their last day as our customers.

You'd think that would be enough?

But no, he decided that we'd taken away the one thing he did all day (constant downloading and complaining, as he doesn't work), and he was going to throw his toys out of the cot.

Anyhooo.... we sat down with Mnr Inspector and gave him our statement. Still gobsmacked at what this bloke had come up with. It's pretty certain that the case won't go any further - but still not lekker having someone laying theft accusations against you with the local law.

On further discussion with various folk who know him, the general consensus appears to be that he's a few filaments short of a light bulb. I think he's just comprehensively proved it!