Yesterday I submitted a few old photos for an online competition. I had to really dig through archives to find something remotely worthy - and realized it's been a very long time since I took pics of anything other than work stuff.
I had this sudden urge to ditch an hour of the working day, grab Favourite Man's camera with mine as backup, and head down to the beach / out to somewhere non-built-up to snap away for a bit.
Being self-employed, you'd think it would be an easy option. No office to report to, no office hours to adhere to. But unfortunately, being self-employed means maximizing every waking minute to keep up with the bills. Sitting on the beach doesn't pay. So I had to suppress that urge and go do something profitable instead.
But it got me thinking.
I used to consider myself reasonably creative. Back in high school I was the arty-farty type, notebooks filled with sketches, poetry and short stories. Now that I'm (a whole lot) older, "real life" has taken over. The only creative thing I've done in a while was attempt to be a Land Rover e-magazine editor for a few months - which also came to an end because I didn't have enough time to make a decent go of it.
I haven't written anything creative in ages. There's a Google Docs folder lurking somewhere with half-formed thoughts and merely-begun musings. There's even the beginnings of a book - but all unfinished and untouched in a long time.
I haven't taken an interesting or beautiful photo - other than obvious sunsets thrown in front of me so dramatically I couldn't NOT do so. My macro option is gathering dust, my Real Film Camera long since sold along with it's myriad lenses.
The only painting I've done is touching up the walls of the house.
The only woodwork cutting a plank in half to mount equipment on.
I have a pile of brilliant projects waiting in a corner of my head to pop out and be seen. One even involves a welder (though I'm NOT proficient in the use of such things).
Days like yesterday I miss my creative side. Days like yesterday it begs to be let out to play.
But days like yesterday also bring the fear that I've forgotten how.