How to Adult

The last day of this summer is drawing to a close - darkness has fallen on the month of February and it's not even 8pm yet.  Winter is coming...

And why am I prefacing a post on Adulting with that?  Well because this.

When you Adult, you don't feel obliged to be all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for a jol until the early hours, when 8pm strikes.  You don't feel under pressure to go out and ogle the opposite sex at some noisy place for a few hours.  It's quite OK for you to immediately get into pjs and slippers when you arrive home from work, and go to bed with the birds if you so desire.  And when you're Adult, you so desire a lot.

When you Adult, you don't have to put up with other people's crap.  You can be middle aged, cranky and a know-it-all if you want, because more and more you DO know it all.  Or at least all the stuff that matters to the timeline you occupy.  The further Adult you go, the more you can not give a damn - wear purple hair and flip off youngsters while weaving through traffic on a scooter if you must.  You're not so young that you still have to make an impression on the world.  When you're Adult it's time for the world to make an impression on you.

When you Adult, you turn into your parents.  Not only in the mirror, but also in realizing what a little shyte you were when you were young - and how most of the younguns these days are also little shytes.  You wonder how your parents put up with you.  And you start doing things your parents did, like asking them to turn the music down, finish their party by 10pm, or drive slowly.

When you Adult, it's OK not to eat your 5 veg a day now and then, to have yoghurt for lunch and hot cross buns for supper.  To drink out the bottle, eat a block of cheese and a container of stuffed olives and call it a meal, or to snack your way through the weekend.  It's not good, and it's definitely not a good example, but you're now Adult enough to get away with it now and then.

When you Adult, age restrictions and parental advisories don't exist.  Watch it all, or decide you have too little life left to watch any of it.  And go do something more worthy of your attention.

When you Adult, the world is a bit scarier.  You've seen more of it, you know what can happen, and you're naturally cautious.  But also braver to take it on, because you've done it before.

When you Adult, your clothes closet is pared down to stuff you actually wear, and not the latest of everything fashionable.  Sometimes that might be t-shirts and tracksuit pants, or the one little black dress that does the right stuff in the right places.  And comfortable shoes.  With older bones, you don't want to be teetering on none of those stripper heels in case you fall from on high.  Classic cuts and colours are your friend.

(Disclaimer.  Some Adults get it right to wear stripper heels into their 90s.  And look good doing it.  I suspect my genetic pool diverged from theirs a very long time ago)

When you Adult your opinions become set in concrete.  Hey, you've spent years forming them and you're not about to give them up.  You have also learnt, though, when to voice them and when to shut the hell up.

When you Adult you know what's important and what isn't.  And you're not willing to use your time for the unimportant stuff.

When you Adult you understand why there's a market for chronic medication, and what it's like when your body starts to wear out.  Your limits are no longer infinite - and they're shrinking daily.  But that's OK, because you've tested your limits while they were still horizons away and you were young enough to appreciate them.

When you Adult you know life is not going to go on forever, which is why you can don pjs the minute you get home, go to bed before it's completely dark, eat chocolate when you want to (no guarantee of it in heaven), and appreciate those who have gone before you.

Adult is a good place to be, all told.