Best Friends

A little while back, I was bemoaning my lack of close female friends here. Until this weekend.

I've had cause to ponder friendships lately, and did some mental digging into my past to find out just when last I had a close female friend. And to tell the truth, I've only had 3 in my entire life!

Terry in grade 1 or so, Laura-Anne in upper primary school, Liezel in high school, and Cathy 2 years ago.

The rest have all been GUYS. Yes, my best friends were guys.

I was a bit of a tomboy growing up. I was always out running with the boys, armed with a pocket knife and roll of rope on the handlebars of my 12-speed bike. I took great delight in being rough and tough (still do, to tell the truth), and showing any guy that I was equal to or better than they were. I still have the scars of bumps, knocks, falls and gouges to prove it.

Consequently I related better to the guys than the girls. And still do. As appealing as female company sometimes is, I find myself drawn into deeper friendships with guys, on a very different level to the girls.

Which of course comes with its own set of issues. Many women can't understand how I can form such a deep, platonic bond with a guy and not take things any further. I find myself battling those perceptions regularly - and not quite sure how to handle them. With more and more of my friends and age-group peers married (while I stay single, probably forever), it gets even MORE complicated! :) A lot of my friends have responsibilities to wives and children now. That takes priority over friendships with "outsiders", and requires a new set of relational rules.

I find myself talking to my guy friends about things I can't or won't discuss with the girls. I find a meeting of minds, if you will, a sharing of perspectives and experiences. Somehow my inner journey seems to have trod a different path than that of most women. (In fact, when I mentioned some of what's going on in my head to a sister-in-law yesterday, her jaw dropped... :) )

So it's a funny place I find myself at. Taking a good look at where I'm coming from, and where others are coming from. Trying to find a compromise and a bit of middle ground in the friendship scene without causing negative effects for others. Rather confusing, but I think I'll get there eventually.