To-do's

As I work toward fulfilling a few dreams for the future, I too often find myself lying awake at night, mentally listing everything that needs attention, and drawing up a time-line.

Last night was one of them. I decided to get a REALLY early night (8:45), seeing as the neighbours were unusually quiet. Wouldn't you know, as soon as I got into bed and put off the light, the kid in the bedroom next door to mine started throwing a helluva tantrum that lasted an entire hour! Murphy's Law of something-or-other, I'm sure.

Well, that had already thrown me out of kilter, and I found myself lying in the dark, eyes refusing to close, thinking. Bad news, this busy brain thing. I realized that there's so much I have to accomplish, plan and do in the next few months. I started making to-do lists like crazy, and with the brain making notes simply couldn't fall asleep.

Until I got up, retrieved my "dreams/plans" notebook, wrote the darn list down, and turned out the light again.

Within 10 minutes I was fast asleep... :)

Looking at my list today has given me a bit of direction. It's funny how a Big Dream influences every choice you make once you decide to make it happen. From buying a chocolate bar or Coke (or not - rather save the cash) to working through procrastinated tasks (need to get these done, just in case - and sort out the office to make it easier for me, and for whomever takes my place eventually). It's like a shot of the Enthusiasm drug, and as long as you keep your goal before you it's a drug that doesn't wear off.

Not to say I'm supremely confident, 100% of the time. Sometimes my Big Dream scares the heck out of me. I know it would be easier, safer, more expected to just sit here and plod/struggle on through life. The fear of the unknown occasionally causes mini panick attacks... But I have a determination to make it happen that overrides those moments, that keeps me pushing onward through my to-do list.