Limits

I've found myself unusually pensive today, doing a bit of inner re-evaluation, specifically with regard to two dreams / goals I've held on to lately.

One I always thought was so far out of my reach that I'd never get it - but with encouragement to dream big, dream wildly, dream the impossible I've clung to it nonetheless. Which is a good thing.

Another has been a goal I've held for ages, forming my life around it in many ways, making decisions based on where I wanted to be one day. Which is also a good thing.

But I've been wondering today if hanging on to them has kept me back from finding other ways to fly. If holding so tight has limited my options and closed me off to experiencing other things, finding other dreams, adjusting my goals.

It's a scary thought. So much of the past months, the past year, has had singular focus that kept me moving forward. To let go of that in order to find a new space is terrifying, and it almost feels like I've wasted a lot of time. My way-out dream would take a lot of letting go of, my life-building dream would need a replacement to fill a huge hollow space. My heart is deeply invested in both of them and would be torn and ripped by giving them up.

Truth is I don't want to let go. I like my dream, I like my goal. I want to keep at it and keep working, keep believing I can make things happen (or that the Universe will give me a push in the right direction).

I have no idea why I'm feeling all introspective today. Perhaps it's a matter of an odd bout of aloneness (I refuse to say I'm feeling lonely). Maybe it's simply not enough chocolate! :-) Or enough veggies. Or too little water. (Much, apparently, has its roots in food)

Whatever it is, sometimes I guess it's good to re-examine where you're at. Even if you don't like the results.