Change is coming

The next few months are going to be a bit of a testing ground. There's so much I need to get my head around, my life around, that it's going to take some very careful planning on my part.

First up is my son. Against all protest, he's going to be spending half his holidays as a run-around / general dogsbody at a local company. This holiday he will not be sitting on his arse in front of his computer all day and night. He will not be locking himself up in his room, only emerging to pee and eat. He will be out in the real world, learning to cope with expectations and a boss, and gathering some very valuable experience. He'll also be getting a taste of the next thing that's up on the agenda.

Home schooling. Yes, it's 99% certain that next year he will be home-schooled. Not only can I not afford the fees anymore, but after much discussion I know we're not getting our money's worth with his education. The state of schooling in general, and here in South Africa specifically, is not conducive to really preparing kids for the Big World and making a living out there. I've spouted forth on this one before - that sitting and shutting up in a classroom for 12 years means that all you end up with is having to regain a squashed love of learning, find a way to survive in society after generally getting dumped in at the deep end of life once school is done. So we'll be trying something different. Probably ACE or similar for subject matter, and again using apprenticeships, part-time helping out (he's only 14, so not of employable age legally), and more immersion in local society to ensure he ends up educated, balanced and with all the coping skills he needs. I have a few very big concerns at the outset with regards to his self-motivation and willingness to push outside his comfort zones, but those HAVE to be dealt with. He can't cower friendless in his room forever. His behaviour has become very worrying over the past 2 years, and it has to stop before it hits a complete downward spiral that bottoms out in disaster. So I'm gathering all the info I collected on home-schooling, re-acquainting myself with the country laws & regulations, and digging out that book I bought him again.

Then there's the growing-up-teen issues. He has no social skills. His personal hygiene sucks, to put it mildly. Yes, teens are difficult and sometimes don't get the need to sort themselves out, but this has to stop too. The few friends he has at school are avoiding him because he's avoiding the soap - and because he simply isn't interacting. Cutting nails is only accomplished by cutting off his internet. I don't know when last his hair saw shampoo (actually I do, I can mark it on the calendar). Showers are "stand there and let the water run over you then get out" affairs - I've stuck a prominent facecloth in there now and told him he'd better use it. I'll check tonight if he has. And I need to take a look at two books I invested in a while ago on raising boys too. Fortunately I have an amazing man to bounce stuff off, who is very wise and knows how the male brain operates. And who also gives me a kick up the butt when I get complacent! :-)

Meantime I'm working on financial options for myself. Truth is I'm not making it on my current salary although I've kept monthly expenses as low as I humanly can. I'm tired of having to scramble for cash to cover only the basics each month (no extras, no treats, no nothing else). This has gone on long enough and I'm sick of the constant worry, it's wearing me out. I need a relook at work stuff and to do some talking / negotiating, or simply take a very deep breath and a rather large plunge soon. Options being investigated in a big way, late nights being had, brain working overtime etc.

Then there's some dreams I have to get to before they die from neglect. Some hobbies and interests that need revival. There are things I want to try and perfect - there are things to be learnt and attempted. There's the marrow to be sucked out of life. And oh - before I forget - I'm soon to be a "published" writer/photographer! Just a little one. Nice.... :-)

I need to work on me too. Time to up the exercise and sort out the food side of things, then make sure that chick in the mirror looks the way I want her to. I'm avoiding the coffee machine in favour of water, and hoping for a sugar-free week to start with (one can but try). I've stocked up on some good stuff from home for lunch (no more cheese sarmie, salt & vinegar chips and an energy bar...), and am cutting down my evening meal portions so supper doesn't sit there and migrate to the hips overnight. There are a number of little things in the me category that are getting attention, being woven into the to-do list until they become a way of life.

Yup, change is coming, and I'm slotting in the required processes to my daily routines so it happens. Can't sit back and hope things go away anymore. It's time to step up and deal with it. ALL of it.