Much and Little

I've noticed something lately with the kid. And it may be at the root of a lot of problems.

If I require little of him, I get less than little - I get nothing at all.

If I require much of him, he pulls finger and performs. (Usually - and sometimes he surprises us with top-notch work)

And therein lies the whole issue (for which I'm about to be judged big-time by anyone reading this...). I haven't required enough of him during his life. He hasn't had enough chores, enough discipline, enough regulation, responsibility and restriction to form a strong sense of self-purpose, self-control and self-management. I know he WANTS to do things, but he doesn't yet have the direction to know how to take initiative and do them un-asked.

OK, this may sound like so much hogwash and mumbo-jumbo, but bear with me as I philosophize a bit.

This morning I sent him a list of things to accomplish. He's doing them, with only one question as to how to do something. Yesterday I didn't - and he did nothing. His personality differs from mine quite a bit, and I need to bear that in mind as I try to raise him - he learns differently, he sees things differently, so it means an adjustment of my own view to see through his eyes and help him along. Which may mean that he deals more in lists than abstracts - and that I need to work out a daily list of to-do until he can work out his own.

So one of the solutions to the problems we're experiencing may simply be to require more of him, to ask him to stretch himself to new turf and put in effort.

Dunno - can only try. One step at a time.