Perhaps it's an overflow from all the contemplative stuff I've been reading lately, but yesterday I had this sudden urge for my old Adiemus CDs. I brought the two I possess to work and they've been going non-stop as a background sound-track to my duties ever since.
Adiemus uses voice as an instrument - words that sound like they could be an ancient language, but aren't, used to produce a musical sound. The voices are joined by a full orchestra. Sound boring? Not at all! Reminds me a bit of Enigma in a way.
It could be pretty good background music for meditation too I think. Especially as I know the music well enough not to be distracted by the wonderful harmonies and other bits. I may just give it a try this weekend. In the meantime it's great for relaxation and stress-prevention here in the office.
And He Runs With Me
This is what's known as an active prayer life - and a good solution to trying to sit still and focus on praying, as well as to trying to find exercise time.
"Expert" advice?
I had a pastor from Zimbabwe in my office this morning, who heard I developed a kid's church programme here a while ago. He's busy developing a manual or programme or something like that for an upcoming children's day at church and wanted my input.
I'm the first to admit I'm not run-of-the-mill when it comes to kids ministry (and most other church-related stuff). I tend to fly by the seat of my pants - you could tell me 2 minutes in advance that there was no leader but me available, and I'd be able to step in and do a cool kid's programme for an hour. I've gathered resources from all over - I pick and choose and dig under rocks to find what I need.
But this gentleman wants me to sit down and give him resources and info and ideas - my "expert" advice on running a kid's day or programme.
Yeah right - like I'm the expert on ANYTHING!? I'm actually pretty clueless, but do put on a good show of being the Intelligent Blonde - and it seems to fool most folk.
I did have a passion for kids ministry at one time. I realize kids are extremely important and making sure they're spiritually healthy is top priority. I also realize what I'm up against in the traditions of the church - the set menatilities of the parents (and thus also the kids they raise), the "we don't do that here"s of the Big Wigs who run the church. To try break the mold and really connect with the kids, to completely grow them and not just entertain them - THAT is a gigantic job and requires a total shift of perspective.
Perhaps as a pastor, this man will be able to achieve what I (poor old black-listed me) can never do. I hope to point him in the right direction, to get him to step out of the well-trod path and see what's hiding in the grass of the verge. I hope, but I'm not sure how much hope I should hold out.
Kid's ministry is not as easy at it seems. Pretty much the same as worship leading - there's more involved than you might imagine, and there's a whole lot more at stake.
So I'll prepare what info I can and trust that God will use it - praying that those involved will actually let God lead them beyond what they know, beyond what they've always done.
I'm the first to admit I'm not run-of-the-mill when it comes to kids ministry (and most other church-related stuff). I tend to fly by the seat of my pants - you could tell me 2 minutes in advance that there was no leader but me available, and I'd be able to step in and do a cool kid's programme for an hour. I've gathered resources from all over - I pick and choose and dig under rocks to find what I need.
But this gentleman wants me to sit down and give him resources and info and ideas - my "expert" advice on running a kid's day or programme.
Yeah right - like I'm the expert on ANYTHING!? I'm actually pretty clueless, but do put on a good show of being the Intelligent Blonde - and it seems to fool most folk.
I did have a passion for kids ministry at one time. I realize kids are extremely important and making sure they're spiritually healthy is top priority. I also realize what I'm up against in the traditions of the church - the set menatilities of the parents (and thus also the kids they raise), the "we don't do that here"s of the Big Wigs who run the church. To try break the mold and really connect with the kids, to completely grow them and not just entertain them - THAT is a gigantic job and requires a total shift of perspective.
Perhaps as a pastor, this man will be able to achieve what I (poor old black-listed me) can never do. I hope to point him in the right direction, to get him to step out of the well-trod path and see what's hiding in the grass of the verge. I hope, but I'm not sure how much hope I should hold out.
Kid's ministry is not as easy at it seems. Pretty much the same as worship leading - there's more involved than you might imagine, and there's a whole lot more at stake.
So I'll prepare what info I can and trust that God will use it - praying that those involved will actually let God lead them beyond what they know, beyond what they've always done.
Running out of steam
After an entire month of running, today I'm running out of steam. I've really earned my pay in the last few months, working non-stop, overtime, working other people's jobs while they sat in meetings. But I know where this type of excess ends - it's happened many, many times in past years. It's a cycle of overwork and collapse.
I know I should avoid the overwork thing, but at this time of the year I really don't have a choice. I could do with double the number of working hours in the day just to get everything done properly. I need to learn Dreamweaver properly, I need to find out how to do a decent image in various graphics programmes, I have so much other stuff that is only getting surface attention.
At the same time I have a household to run, a son to bring up WELL (without skimping on time with him), etc, etc, etc. To find balance between everything is a major mission.
I could feel a headache coming on yesterday and today there are other symptoms that my body has had enough. I suspect the symptoms will soon take over and I'll have no choice but to take a break.
That's just the way our bodies were made - overdo things and you're sure to know about it soon. There's no endless steam supply, you run out sooner or later. Just imagine if we didn't have those warning signals! We wouldn't last terribly long...
I know I should avoid the overwork thing, but at this time of the year I really don't have a choice. I could do with double the number of working hours in the day just to get everything done properly. I need to learn Dreamweaver properly, I need to find out how to do a decent image in various graphics programmes, I have so much other stuff that is only getting surface attention.
At the same time I have a household to run, a son to bring up WELL (without skimping on time with him), etc, etc, etc. To find balance between everything is a major mission.
I could feel a headache coming on yesterday and today there are other symptoms that my body has had enough. I suspect the symptoms will soon take over and I'll have no choice but to take a break.
That's just the way our bodies were made - overdo things and you're sure to know about it soon. There's no endless steam supply, you run out sooner or later. Just imagine if we didn't have those warning signals! We wouldn't last terribly long...
Red Bull gives you Wings!
You're a pegasus. You're very calm and loving.
Something about you makes others want to get
close to you, whether or not you feel the same
way about them. You don't bond to others
easily, but when you do it's long-lasting. Your
alignment is *good*, but not so much that you
can't have fun.
What mythical beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Interview Aftermath
(This is a special posting just for Diantha, who phoned me from Korea late last night to find out how it went - ahead of schedule! :) )
The interview is over - about 1/2 an hour of being broadcast on a speaker-phone half-way across the world. I think it went OK. They're finalizing the applicants tonight and tomorrow. The one thing that counts against me is the visa issue - they're not convinced that I can get there quickly, as they've had troubles in the past with the visa folk. And as the college starts soon, they need someone in there NOW!
So I get to wait now and see what they say. At least the hardest part is done!
The interview is over - about 1/2 an hour of being broadcast on a speaker-phone half-way across the world. I think it went OK. They're finalizing the applicants tonight and tomorrow. The one thing that counts against me is the visa issue - they're not convinced that I can get there quickly, as they've had troubles in the past with the visa folk. And as the college starts soon, they need someone in there NOW!
So I get to wait now and see what they say. At least the hardest part is done!
Dream #3 Details
As promised, here's the link to a bit of planning going into Dream #3 of yesterday's posting. A work in progress.
Why I could use a husband today
With all the rushing around at work, sorting out the house, sitting behind a cramped desk and pondering a faster-than-expected potential move, my shoulders are rock-solid and totally tensed up. Feels like my neck is growing out of granite.
So I could use a husband today who, by the time I get home, would have helped my son complete homework, made dinner, run me a bubble bath, and who would then give me a nice long massage.
But that's all I could use him for, and then he'd have to leave... :)
So I could use a husband today who, by the time I get home, would have helped my son complete homework, made dinner, run me a bubble bath, and who would then give me a nice long massage.
But that's all I could use him for, and then he'd have to leave... :)
Job Progress
I just had a call from the place I applied to for a job. They'll be interviewing me by telephone tomorrow morning!!! Things are in motion, but now I'm such a bundle of nerves that I don't think I'm going to sleep too well tonight... perhaps I should just stay up and pray! :)
::update::
Spoke to my boss and he said if the job and the visa come through quickly they'll waive the one-month-notice requirement. Seems he already has someone in mind to take over from me... :) But that would be good, as I have some serious training to do of whomever gets this job.
Have also received info on the primary school where my son would attend - expensive, but possible. Same for housing in the area, found on the net.
We'll see though. Everything hinges on tomorrow's interview!
::update::
Spoke to my boss and he said if the job and the visa come through quickly they'll waive the one-month-notice requirement. Seems he already has someone in mind to take over from me... :) But that would be good, as I have some serious training to do of whomever gets this job.
Have also received info on the primary school where my son would attend - expensive, but possible. Same for housing in the area, found on the net.
We'll see though. Everything hinges on tomorrow's interview!
Big Dreams
This weekend I finished reading another little book my mom passed on to me, this time "The Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkenson. She knows I've always had huge dreams, so perhpas thought I needed a push in the right direction to make them come true (or perhaps she didn't, but I'm the last to know what goes on in her mind!).
The first half of the book is a story of Ordinary from the land of Familiar, who one day discovers he's been given a Big Dream and sets out to find it. I read the entire story to my son, who enjoyed it. Then I went on to read the "put it into practice" part on my own.
Now I know I have dreams, lots of them, but they all seem pretty distant, as if I'm looking at them through the fog. But on Sabbath afternoon I sat down to write them out. I came up with three Big Dreams, and this is what I wrote:
1. I've dreamed for a long time of leading worship. But how do I lead when I seem so far from God, when I seem to know so little about Him and how to worship Him? He's been training and stretching me over past years - but is it enough? Is this a dream destined to fail - do I rather remain in the background as a musician and leave the leading to others? Also, it seems to clash with my second dream:...
2. An emerging-church type community- and home-based church. Leading worship has yet to be defined in that context! Space is needed, wisdom is needed, PEOPLE are needed to form such a group. Again, I have no clue how to start - except with an invitation to a regular once-a-week meal and time of prayer. I think I could manage that. But it may need to wait until Australia - I don't want to start something in SA, only to up and leave / desert it.
3. My third dream is my own farm - a way of life I crave. But not just for me. I see it as a place for broken families, single parents, kids, scared pregant teens, to come, live, work, be in community. An in-between place for people in transition. A place to live and work while they sort out thoughts, plans and lives. A place for kids to get out of a consumer rut and get into nature, learn the value of work and the wonder of life in changing seasons. All this, of course, requires me to get a farm and start going. It's a few years down the road. It could tie in with dream #2 - meals for all taken as one huge family at one huge table, and the opportunity to grow closer to God and one another. Do-able I think.
These are my 3 main dreams. Perhaps they're only parts of one Big Dream. Time will tell. First up though is our move to Australia - then we'll take it from there.
I'll be posting a link to a page on my website tomorrow, with details of what I envision for Dream #3. WAY too long to post here, and believe me, when I say details I mean details! :) I tend to plan stuff that may not even happen down to the last fullstop, till I can completely see it in my head. I'm a Mega-Dreamer!!!
The first half of the book is a story of Ordinary from the land of Familiar, who one day discovers he's been given a Big Dream and sets out to find it. I read the entire story to my son, who enjoyed it. Then I went on to read the "put it into practice" part on my own.
Now I know I have dreams, lots of them, but they all seem pretty distant, as if I'm looking at them through the fog. But on Sabbath afternoon I sat down to write them out. I came up with three Big Dreams, and this is what I wrote:
1. I've dreamed for a long time of leading worship. But how do I lead when I seem so far from God, when I seem to know so little about Him and how to worship Him? He's been training and stretching me over past years - but is it enough? Is this a dream destined to fail - do I rather remain in the background as a musician and leave the leading to others? Also, it seems to clash with my second dream:...
2. An emerging-church type community- and home-based church. Leading worship has yet to be defined in that context! Space is needed, wisdom is needed, PEOPLE are needed to form such a group. Again, I have no clue how to start - except with an invitation to a regular once-a-week meal and time of prayer. I think I could manage that. But it may need to wait until Australia - I don't want to start something in SA, only to up and leave / desert it.
3. My third dream is my own farm - a way of life I crave. But not just for me. I see it as a place for broken families, single parents, kids, scared pregant teens, to come, live, work, be in community. An in-between place for people in transition. A place to live and work while they sort out thoughts, plans and lives. A place for kids to get out of a consumer rut and get into nature, learn the value of work and the wonder of life in changing seasons. All this, of course, requires me to get a farm and start going. It's a few years down the road. It could tie in with dream #2 - meals for all taken as one huge family at one huge table, and the opportunity to grow closer to God and one another. Do-able I think.
These are my 3 main dreams. Perhaps they're only parts of one Big Dream. Time will tell. First up though is our move to Australia - then we'll take it from there.
I'll be posting a link to a page on my website tomorrow, with details of what I envision for Dream #3. WAY too long to post here, and believe me, when I say details I mean details! :) I tend to plan stuff that may not even happen down to the last fullstop, till I can completely see it in my head. I'm a Mega-Dreamer!!!
Give me DETAILS!
Am I the only one that gets frustrated by the Biblical accounts of Jesus' life? There are so many places where it states "and He taught the people many things". WHAT THINGS? I want to know what He said! He was a great and respected teacher, so why can't they let us in on His teachings, all of them?
It's frustrating to try and know Jesus, to try live like Him, with so little info available on the three years He spent ministering to people. Everything is so summarized, with only a few "speeches" given here and there. And on those few words we hang our entire faith.
But I want MORE! Maybe it's a woman thing - you know we like to hear all the details of anything going. I'm not content to have an outline. But I think it goes deeper than that. It's hard to satisfy a hunger for God with appetizers. It's hard to get to know Jesus when you can't hear God speaking to you and all you have to go on is a few pages of Him. Yeah, there are the other books in the Bible, but when it comes to the Real Reason we're around, the details are precious few.
(And I'm starting to be pretty amazed at the millions of sermons preachers can get out of those few verses!:) )
It's frustrating to try and know Jesus, to try live like Him, with so little info available on the three years He spent ministering to people. Everything is so summarized, with only a few "speeches" given here and there. And on those few words we hang our entire faith.
But I want MORE! Maybe it's a woman thing - you know we like to hear all the details of anything going. I'm not content to have an outline. But I think it goes deeper than that. It's hard to satisfy a hunger for God with appetizers. It's hard to get to know Jesus when you can't hear God speaking to you and all you have to go on is a few pages of Him. Yeah, there are the other books in the Bible, but when it comes to the Real Reason we're around, the details are precious few.
(And I'm starting to be pretty amazed at the millions of sermons preachers can get out of those few verses!:) )
End of the Weak (typo intentional)
Have come to the end of a very exhausting week, and I'm really looking forward to the weekend.
We've had endless days of heat and equally hot nights. Little sleep. I tried sleeping out on the lawn but the dogs ran around all night barking at owls flying past, so had to give up after a few hours. Hoping for a dip in temps this weekend and a chance to get some rest.
Then there's been work - I have rushed and rushed this week. I have probably worked harder this week than I have in months. I may be putting in some weekend work too. But I DO plan on asking for a few days unofficial leave once student registration is over and things calm down. In the meantime I have to take serenity where I find it and suck the marrow out of it while I can!:)
School started this week for my son, and it's back to the routine of homework, bathtimes and bedtimes. Gone are the days when he can stay out late playing with friends as the sun disappears. Now he's got a deadline to get home. And I have a deadline to complete all my evening stuff and have time to help him with homework. Last night it was Afrikaans, and a lot of it. Fortunately that falls away when we move to Australia...
Today is also the day applications for my potential Australian job close. I should hear if I'm being considered in the next week or so.
All in all I'm looking forward to a mini-break this weekend. I'm planning nothing, I'm not going to try cram activities in, I'm just going to take it completely easy.
I'll be back with better blogging next week, as time allows. Blessings and rest to all who stop by here!
We've had endless days of heat and equally hot nights. Little sleep. I tried sleeping out on the lawn but the dogs ran around all night barking at owls flying past, so had to give up after a few hours. Hoping for a dip in temps this weekend and a chance to get some rest.
Then there's been work - I have rushed and rushed this week. I have probably worked harder this week than I have in months. I may be putting in some weekend work too. But I DO plan on asking for a few days unofficial leave once student registration is over and things calm down. In the meantime I have to take serenity where I find it and suck the marrow out of it while I can!:)
School started this week for my son, and it's back to the routine of homework, bathtimes and bedtimes. Gone are the days when he can stay out late playing with friends as the sun disappears. Now he's got a deadline to get home. And I have a deadline to complete all my evening stuff and have time to help him with homework. Last night it was Afrikaans, and a lot of it. Fortunately that falls away when we move to Australia...
Today is also the day applications for my potential Australian job close. I should hear if I'm being considered in the next week or so.
All in all I'm looking forward to a mini-break this weekend. I'm planning nothing, I'm not going to try cram activities in, I'm just going to take it completely easy.
I'll be back with better blogging next week, as time allows. Blessings and rest to all who stop by here!
Fiddling with the Blog
I've finally gotten around to getting my regular reads into a Blogroll, using the appropriate technology.
Not that I have nothing to do at work - now that I have a network connection again (disappeared for most of this morning) I have LOTS to do!
But being blonde, I'm perfectly able to successfully multi-task. And have been wanting to do this for ages. So, it's done. And am also blogroll-able too.
Geez...there's a never-ending list of stuff you can do to a blog, isn't there!
(Deeper thoughts another day - too hot to think today)
Not that I have nothing to do at work - now that I have a network connection again (disappeared for most of this morning) I have LOTS to do!
But being blonde, I'm perfectly able to successfully multi-task. And have been wanting to do this for ages. So, it's done. And am also blogroll-able too.
Geez...there's a never-ending list of stuff you can do to a blog, isn't there!
(Deeper thoughts another day - too hot to think today)
The Hole
The move has been made, and I am now sitting in my Hole, squashed up against the desk with almost no carpet space in sight! Both the phone and the computer network connection don't work in this office, so am running leads from the old office for the phone, and from the office next door for the computer. Hope no-one trips over them! Or maybe I hope they do.
It's TERRIBLY hot in this office - and the sun hasn't even hit yet. Trying to fit everything in that I need to operate, was a major mission. I can only just open the drawers of the filing system and the desk.
But here I sit, and here I have to stay. So I'd better get used to it. Even if I keep wanting to either throw things or have a good cry... :)
It's TERRIBLY hot in this office - and the sun hasn't even hit yet. Trying to fit everything in that I need to operate, was a major mission. I can only just open the drawers of the filing system and the desk.
But here I sit, and here I have to stay. So I'd better get used to it. Even if I keep wanting to either throw things or have a good cry... :)
Giving up
I've been plagued lately by worries over how I'm going to afford a move to Australia. Last year was a financial disaster and I'm still digging us out of that hole. Selling up is going to have to be timed so carefully, so that we can afford to pay things as we need to - ticket, goods in a container, and then starting up on the other end after closing my bank account here. I have no huge savings to cover everything. We've been living hand-to-mouth for years already.
It's something that's gnawed away at my mind and got me stressed out recently.
BUT last night I decided that it's really no use to worry. There's actually a God who not only OWNS the universe, but cares for me and knows the future.
Last night I literally gave up - gave up my worries to God completely. It's not something that comes easy. Us humans are like a dog with a bone - we LIKE chewing on our old tasteless worries and get all growly if someone tries to take them away to give us something better. Giving them over to God takes practice and determination - determination not to try get them back to chew on some more. I had a bit of practice giving up/over last year when disaster after disaster struck!
I asked God for peace about this whole story, and He gave it right away. It's in His hands. Yes, I do need to be careful, do my part, plan as much as I can. But the worrying? Nope, not anymore.
It's something that's gnawed away at my mind and got me stressed out recently.
BUT last night I decided that it's really no use to worry. There's actually a God who not only OWNS the universe, but cares for me and knows the future.
Last night I literally gave up - gave up my worries to God completely. It's not something that comes easy. Us humans are like a dog with a bone - we LIKE chewing on our old tasteless worries and get all growly if someone tries to take them away to give us something better. Giving them over to God takes practice and determination - determination not to try get them back to chew on some more. I had a bit of practice giving up/over last year when disaster after disaster struck!
I asked God for peace about this whole story, and He gave it right away. It's in His hands. Yes, I do need to be careful, do my part, plan as much as I can. But the worrying? Nope, not anymore.
A Moving Experience
This is the week I get chucked out my big office into The Hole - without aircon in 30+C temps, with a damp and peeling wall, with less than half the space I have now.
But I'm resigned to it - perhaps even looking forward to it. Now I just want to get going. But I have to wait until they've done the phone line, the computer connection, the wall. After a day of varnish fumes from the newly-built office outside I need time for the paint fumes yonder to subside! At least it makes for a happy day though! :)
I kinda like moving. I'm planning the Big Move at home too, and it's fun chucking out junk and envisioning something new. You can get complacent in one place after a while. You start not noticing the spiderwebs and the dust. I've been ruthless with possessions, and it's given me a different mind-set with regard to my stuff. I can really do without a lot! I'm having to cut down to the very bare minimum both at work and home - one to fit in The Hole, the other to cost me as little as possible to send overseas.
I guess you could call it Extreme Springcleaning. Feels pretty good.
But I'm resigned to it - perhaps even looking forward to it. Now I just want to get going. But I have to wait until they've done the phone line, the computer connection, the wall. After a day of varnish fumes from the newly-built office outside I need time for the paint fumes yonder to subside! At least it makes for a happy day though! :)
I kinda like moving. I'm planning the Big Move at home too, and it's fun chucking out junk and envisioning something new. You can get complacent in one place after a while. You start not noticing the spiderwebs and the dust. I've been ruthless with possessions, and it's given me a different mind-set with regard to my stuff. I can really do without a lot! I'm having to cut down to the very bare minimum both at work and home - one to fit in The Hole, the other to cost me as little as possible to send overseas.
I guess you could call it Extreme Springcleaning. Feels pretty good.
Shared Martyrdom
I have been a part of the shared martyrdom of thousands across the world this week. Apart, yet together, we have wrestled with our burden, stayed up way too late, given in to the occasional curse. We have strained muscles, torn things we should not be tearing and chipped teeth tearing off bits from rolls of sticky tape. But we have prevailed. We have finished covering all the school books for the new year!
Thoughts on Emerging Church: Part I
This weekend I read an article on cross-cultural ministry and some of the issues involved. Very interesting stuff. Got me thinking on why the emerging church seems to be mostly a white Western thing, and it’s leaving other nations (third world etc) largely untouched. I'm by no means a professional on the subject, these are just my thoughts.
Bear with me as I get to the point here. This may be a long one and I’m not moveable-type endowed!
Just after high school a group of us went to Lesotho to renovate a mission that was in bad disrepair. We spent 3 weeks there and got to know many of the locals. We lived with them, ate with them, worked with them and worshipped with them. To some, their services would seem outdated. They had hymns, a sermon with fire and brimstone, and all the usual traditional elements. Nothing of today’s contemporary music or bands or overheads/video projectors. Not even a written hymnbook in sight! But the volume of singing, the depth of response blew us (almost literally) away.
On the campus where I work there is a predominantly-black church, also very “old-fashioned”. They have your well-known order of service, stuck to religiously every week. Pop in anytime and you’ll know how much of the service is left. Hymns abound. Preachers are loud and work up a sweat. Services go on way past lunch-time. And you can hear them from anywhere on campus when they sing.
When I lived in Zimbabwe the black folk would walk for miles to attend church, sometimes arriving after the service was over (as many hours as it lasted), but hanging around the church under the trees with their families and food, there to worship.
Contrast that with many Western contemporary churches. We’ve got the sound system, the lights, the band, the video effects. We turn up in our fancy cars and give our cash (such a small percentage of what we possess). We pray and we sing. But somehow it doesn’t seem as deep as those black folk who arrive on foot and sing from memory. We’re not as committed – we sometimes don’t even bother getting up in time to go to church. And when we do go, we go through the motions.
Western Christianity has become a consumer religion. We treat God like we do anything else in our lives – if we don’t get our money’s worth we leave. We moan and groan at the pastor’s message or the worship leader’s singing, or the hardness of the pews. We fall asleep during the sermon. We do our thing once a week and leave. We give offering relevant to the blessing we received – the less blessing the less goes in the plate. Mass evangelistic meeting? Not for us thanks. Mass baptisms? Nah… A call to be persecuted for our faith? WHAT faith? What could anyone possible find on us to persecute us about?
Is it any wonder there’s a drive for more than church as we know it among us white Western folk? We’ve lost our first love, we’ve lost the depth of devotion that bids us walk till our feet are sore to meet with God and others. We've lost our hunger for God. We’ve become shallow and wishy-washy. We don’t practice what’s preached – who of us can honestly remember what the pastor said this weekend, and who of us really put it into practice or even gave it a passing thought once we left.
The third-world and similar culture groups don’t need to emerge. They’ve got what we’re seeking. They’ve got that real stuff we’re trying to find. And it’s not about bells (or whistles), incense or candles, it isn’t about worship spaces or connecting with today’s culture. It’s about God and God alone.
Cross-cultural emerging? I don’t think so. Unless it’s us learning from them, learning to recapture our First Love, and not the other way round.
Bear with me as I get to the point here. This may be a long one and I’m not moveable-type endowed!
Just after high school a group of us went to Lesotho to renovate a mission that was in bad disrepair. We spent 3 weeks there and got to know many of the locals. We lived with them, ate with them, worked with them and worshipped with them. To some, their services would seem outdated. They had hymns, a sermon with fire and brimstone, and all the usual traditional elements. Nothing of today’s contemporary music or bands or overheads/video projectors. Not even a written hymnbook in sight! But the volume of singing, the depth of response blew us (almost literally) away.
On the campus where I work there is a predominantly-black church, also very “old-fashioned”. They have your well-known order of service, stuck to religiously every week. Pop in anytime and you’ll know how much of the service is left. Hymns abound. Preachers are loud and work up a sweat. Services go on way past lunch-time. And you can hear them from anywhere on campus when they sing.
When I lived in Zimbabwe the black folk would walk for miles to attend church, sometimes arriving after the service was over (as many hours as it lasted), but hanging around the church under the trees with their families and food, there to worship.
Contrast that with many Western contemporary churches. We’ve got the sound system, the lights, the band, the video effects. We turn up in our fancy cars and give our cash (such a small percentage of what we possess). We pray and we sing. But somehow it doesn’t seem as deep as those black folk who arrive on foot and sing from memory. We’re not as committed – we sometimes don’t even bother getting up in time to go to church. And when we do go, we go through the motions.
Western Christianity has become a consumer religion. We treat God like we do anything else in our lives – if we don’t get our money’s worth we leave. We moan and groan at the pastor’s message or the worship leader’s singing, or the hardness of the pews. We fall asleep during the sermon. We do our thing once a week and leave. We give offering relevant to the blessing we received – the less blessing the less goes in the plate. Mass evangelistic meeting? Not for us thanks. Mass baptisms? Nah… A call to be persecuted for our faith? WHAT faith? What could anyone possible find on us to persecute us about?
Is it any wonder there’s a drive for more than church as we know it among us white Western folk? We’ve lost our first love, we’ve lost the depth of devotion that bids us walk till our feet are sore to meet with God and others. We've lost our hunger for God. We’ve become shallow and wishy-washy. We don’t practice what’s preached – who of us can honestly remember what the pastor said this weekend, and who of us really put it into practice or even gave it a passing thought once we left.
The third-world and similar culture groups don’t need to emerge. They’ve got what we’re seeking. They’ve got that real stuff we’re trying to find. And it’s not about bells (or whistles), incense or candles, it isn’t about worship spaces or connecting with today’s culture. It’s about God and God alone.
Cross-cultural emerging? I don’t think so. Unless it’s us learning from them, learning to recapture our First Love, and not the other way round.
AARRRRGGGHHHH!
Don't you just love it when you're on the LAST line of a huge post, and it completely disappears! Watch this space - this time it's being typed in Word and copied here!
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
Playing (footsy with a) Cricket
It's back. That little toe-tickle on my summer bare-as-you-dare working feet, hidden in the dark under the desk. A barely-noticeable warning song earlier in the day. The cricket's decided my toes look like a good place for a new home.
Now, I'm not one to jump with joy over things that possess more than 4 legs. You'll probably find me jumping up on the desk instead. This should freak me out, this feeling of little feet and feelers testing out my toes. If I stop and think about it, it does!
Seems he's found a better place to be now, behind the shelves. But still every time I feel a little tickle on the toes, I check to make sure it's not really him.
Now, I'm not one to jump with joy over things that possess more than 4 legs. You'll probably find me jumping up on the desk instead. This should freak me out, this feeling of little feet and feelers testing out my toes. If I stop and think about it, it does!
Seems he's found a better place to be now, behind the shelves. But still every time I feel a little tickle on the toes, I check to make sure it's not really him.
Logical Thinking
Yet again the drought was big news last night. The usual images of skinny cows, dry lands, farmers letting dust run through their fingers.
And it kinda hit me that the reason so many are suffering, is because they're doing things the way they've always done them. They still plant their crops way too far apart by tractor, which lets valuable moisture from the ground evaporate instead of being caught up by the leaves of the plants and returned to the ground. Water isn't recycled from their homes to be used on the lands. Pasture is grazed to the ground without a good policy of animal rotation (by which you can actually IMPROVE barren, eroded land to the point that it's better than ever).
Struck me that perhaps the church is operating similarly. We wonder where all the members went and why the services are dry and drought-y, and yet we're doing the same destructive things we always have. We're stuck in the way we've always done it. And can't figure out what's wrong.
All it takes is a little logical thinking to sort out both drought-ravaged farms and churches. But as I've noticed, logical thinking is something sorely lacking these days. We all just muddle on in the tracks left before us, wearing them deeper and deeper and wondering why we can't see a way out anymore.
It's a pity....
And it kinda hit me that the reason so many are suffering, is because they're doing things the way they've always done them. They still plant their crops way too far apart by tractor, which lets valuable moisture from the ground evaporate instead of being caught up by the leaves of the plants and returned to the ground. Water isn't recycled from their homes to be used on the lands. Pasture is grazed to the ground without a good policy of animal rotation (by which you can actually IMPROVE barren, eroded land to the point that it's better than ever).
Struck me that perhaps the church is operating similarly. We wonder where all the members went and why the services are dry and drought-y, and yet we're doing the same destructive things we always have. We're stuck in the way we've always done it. And can't figure out what's wrong.
All it takes is a little logical thinking to sort out both drought-ravaged farms and churches. But as I've noticed, logical thinking is something sorely lacking these days. We all just muddle on in the tracks left before us, wearing them deeper and deeper and wondering why we can't see a way out anymore.
It's a pity....
Sabbath Rest (without God?)
I've noticed a disturbing trend lately in my Sabbath rest. I no longer attend a church on Sabbath, so have been taking the day as plain rest and alone-time to spend with God.
But on the Sabbaths that I just rest, without spending time with God, I'm left with a seriously empty void. It's like the rest and God-time have to happen together, or I miss out completely.
For the past 2 weeks we've taken it easy, spent time outside, walked the dogs, had an afternoon nap, and before we know it the day's over and we haven't done our Bible study or spent time in prayer and thought. And at the end of the day it's been about as satisfying as eating meringue - nice enough, but doesn't fill any holes. (I've also been bunking the Sunday services that I don't have to play at, so we're getting no church, period.)
It seems that Sabbath should then not only be rest, but also God-time. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy". Not just remember to take time off and stop rushing around for a day.
It means I need to put in more effort to set aside time for Him and make sure I actually do what I plan. Perhaps it means I might have to brace myself and go to church now and then. Even if I leave with a frustration headache and poke-holes from those who point at the "backslider" behind my back. I may have to grit my teeth and deal with thinly-veiled comments from those who have no clue about my journey.
I also need to find a way to set the day aside as extra-special. Perhaps institute family traditions that only happen on this day, or keep an activity or special meal specifically for this time. Use candles to mark its beginning and end, or celebrate with our favourite local grape juice. Something that sets the day apart from being just a holiday from work/school/everyday stuff. Like Jewish families do at the begining of the Sabbath hours - prayers, blessings, etc.
I can't take one more day of "empty blessing". If I have to start another week unfilled with God, it's going to be hard to endure. Next week is bound to be stressful, and I need to have filled my spiritual tank in advance, or face running out of steam by Tuesday.
Lord, I ask for your bountiful blessing in these Sabbath hours to come. You know how easy it is to get onto the take-it-easy road, how easy it is to let my time with You slide in favour of an afternoon nap. I need Your help this Sabbath, I need Your presence, I need to be filled.
But on the Sabbaths that I just rest, without spending time with God, I'm left with a seriously empty void. It's like the rest and God-time have to happen together, or I miss out completely.
For the past 2 weeks we've taken it easy, spent time outside, walked the dogs, had an afternoon nap, and before we know it the day's over and we haven't done our Bible study or spent time in prayer and thought. And at the end of the day it's been about as satisfying as eating meringue - nice enough, but doesn't fill any holes. (I've also been bunking the Sunday services that I don't have to play at, so we're getting no church, period.)
It seems that Sabbath should then not only be rest, but also God-time. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy". Not just remember to take time off and stop rushing around for a day.
It means I need to put in more effort to set aside time for Him and make sure I actually do what I plan. Perhaps it means I might have to brace myself and go to church now and then. Even if I leave with a frustration headache and poke-holes from those who point at the "backslider" behind my back. I may have to grit my teeth and deal with thinly-veiled comments from those who have no clue about my journey.
I also need to find a way to set the day aside as extra-special. Perhaps institute family traditions that only happen on this day, or keep an activity or special meal specifically for this time. Use candles to mark its beginning and end, or celebrate with our favourite local grape juice. Something that sets the day apart from being just a holiday from work/school/everyday stuff. Like Jewish families do at the begining of the Sabbath hours - prayers, blessings, etc.
I can't take one more day of "empty blessing". If I have to start another week unfilled with God, it's going to be hard to endure. Next week is bound to be stressful, and I need to have filled my spiritual tank in advance, or face running out of steam by Tuesday.
Lord, I ask for your bountiful blessing in these Sabbath hours to come. You know how easy it is to get onto the take-it-easy road, how easy it is to let my time with You slide in favour of an afternoon nap. I need Your help this Sabbath, I need Your presence, I need to be filled.
South African Fame
Top 10 reasons South Africa is famous this week:
1. Missing exchange student from the Netherlands, gone since the day after Christmas, but police have a few leads. Family is here helping search, along with police from her home country.
2. Very, very rich Norwegian ex-husband of Diana Ross, fell to his death on a mountain nearby yesterday. Farm manager from the college sent as part of search and rescue team to pick him up.
3. Worst AIDS stats, almost.
4. Worst drought in 100 years. Bleak forecast for food, fuel and affected product prices as a result.
5. "The Ranch" brothel owner on trial, trend-setting trial for other potential prostitution charges.
6. Equine flu nearly under control - loss of millions in the racing industry thus far. Horses start light training this week - but it's too late for thousands of donkey-cart beasts, for whom the vaccine was too late.
7. Hefer commission winds up report on corruption in a government department.
8. Immelman may win the SAA golf tournament - he's from my little town, and it's being played yere!
9. Farmer demolishes school on eve of new school year in an attempt to get the government to make good on their promises for SAFE facilities. Other schools set to re-open without roofs.
10. Homeowners in Cape Town receive cheque for R2,000 and notice that their homes have been sold at (secret) auction to unknown person. No prior warning. City council to investigate what the heck is going on.
And all this time you thought it was the wine, sunshine, good-looking girls and Table Mountain that made us famous!
1. Missing exchange student from the Netherlands, gone since the day after Christmas, but police have a few leads. Family is here helping search, along with police from her home country.
2. Very, very rich Norwegian ex-husband of Diana Ross, fell to his death on a mountain nearby yesterday. Farm manager from the college sent as part of search and rescue team to pick him up.
3. Worst AIDS stats, almost.
4. Worst drought in 100 years. Bleak forecast for food, fuel and affected product prices as a result.
5. "The Ranch" brothel owner on trial, trend-setting trial for other potential prostitution charges.
6. Equine flu nearly under control - loss of millions in the racing industry thus far. Horses start light training this week - but it's too late for thousands of donkey-cart beasts, for whom the vaccine was too late.
7. Hefer commission winds up report on corruption in a government department.
8. Immelman may win the SAA golf tournament - he's from my little town, and it's being played yere!
9. Farmer demolishes school on eve of new school year in an attempt to get the government to make good on their promises for SAFE facilities. Other schools set to re-open without roofs.
10. Homeowners in Cape Town receive cheque for R2,000 and notice that their homes have been sold at (secret) auction to unknown person. No prior warning. City council to investigate what the heck is going on.
And all this time you thought it was the wine, sunshine, good-looking girls and Table Mountain that made us famous!
Being Church, today
It's hard to Be Church when you're tired. It's hard when you're stressed, or when you've woken up dizzy and exhausted for days in a row.
It's a lot easier to Be Church when you're on an energy high, when life is peachy and when you've gotten enough sleep.
The Bible says our bodies are the temple of God and as such we need to look after them. Not just because it's a good idea, but also because it's easier to connect to God when your mind is clear and your body is functioning well. It's harder to do so through the fog of tiredness, from the depths of a mind clouded by junkfood and soft drinks, through the trial of being unfit or just that bit overweight.
It would be great to go back to the Garden of Eden and live as the perfect beings God created us to be. The perfect diet, the perfect climate, only one major temptation to deal with, everything in harmony. But we ain't there no more! It's up to us to make the most of where we are.
I've started this year on a bad note - my temple-body has not been spring-cleaned or properly maintained. I haven't had enough fresh air, exercise, good wholesome food or rest. I haven't spent enough time in God's presence. I've only been back at work for 2 weeks and already I need a holiday. (Perhaps it has something to do with the building, drilling, banging etc. going on outside my office all this week).
I can feel my body crying out for health. I know what's required. It's just very easy to fall into an endless downward spiral of bad choices. The worse you feel, the less effort you make, which makes you feel worse, and pretty soon you CAN'T make the effort....
And today, as a result, it's really hard to Be Church.
It's a lot easier to Be Church when you're on an energy high, when life is peachy and when you've gotten enough sleep.
The Bible says our bodies are the temple of God and as such we need to look after them. Not just because it's a good idea, but also because it's easier to connect to God when your mind is clear and your body is functioning well. It's harder to do so through the fog of tiredness, from the depths of a mind clouded by junkfood and soft drinks, through the trial of being unfit or just that bit overweight.
It would be great to go back to the Garden of Eden and live as the perfect beings God created us to be. The perfect diet, the perfect climate, only one major temptation to deal with, everything in harmony. But we ain't there no more! It's up to us to make the most of where we are.
I've started this year on a bad note - my temple-body has not been spring-cleaned or properly maintained. I haven't had enough fresh air, exercise, good wholesome food or rest. I haven't spent enough time in God's presence. I've only been back at work for 2 weeks and already I need a holiday. (Perhaps it has something to do with the building, drilling, banging etc. going on outside my office all this week).
I can feel my body crying out for health. I know what's required. It's just very easy to fall into an endless downward spiral of bad choices. The worse you feel, the less effort you make, which makes you feel worse, and pretty soon you CAN'T make the effort....
And today, as a result, it's really hard to Be Church.
"Donkey" syndrome
This blogging thing still has me in awe. No-one's ever had the time or wish (apparently) to sit down and listen to what I have to say, and yet it seems folk actually read what I write here! The fact that there are comments speaks for itself.
And what's even more amazing is that mega-bloggers (you know, those famous folk who EVERYONE reads and links to) actually stop by here too occasionally! One has even said what I write is "refreshing".
As I result I think I have "Donkey" syndrome. Remember that scene in the movie Shrek, where the princess has just been rescued and thanks the knight and his noble steed? Donkey says "Did you hear that? She thinks I'm a steed!" with THAT look all over his face. He's suddenly more than he was a minute ago, more than just the donkey he knows himself to be.
That's me when the Big Bloggers stop by and say something. Donkey syndrome.
And what's even more amazing is that mega-bloggers (you know, those famous folk who EVERYONE reads and links to) actually stop by here too occasionally! One has even said what I write is "refreshing".
As I result I think I have "Donkey" syndrome. Remember that scene in the movie Shrek, where the princess has just been rescued and thanks the knight and his noble steed? Donkey says "Did you hear that? She thinks I'm a steed!" with THAT look all over his face. He's suddenly more than he was a minute ago, more than just the donkey he knows himself to be.
That's me when the Big Bloggers stop by and say something. Donkey syndrome.
Engrish LOTR
If you have not yet seen the Engrish versions of Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers, you should!
Be warned - it puts a whole other perspective on the series.... :)
Be warned - it puts a whole other perspective on the series.... :)
Retro Picture of the Day
My parents on their wedding day. Now married 34 years!
That was then - this is now:
That was then - this is now:
3-D Sidewalk Art
I got these pics by email recently, but didn't want to violate any copyright by posting them - will let someone else do it! :)
Check them out, they're awesome!
Check them out, they're awesome!
Tourist Attraction
Late yesterday afternoon I noticed that a few of the scudding-by clouds were off-colour, a bit brown. A sure indication of Fire nearby. By early evening, there was a column of smoke rising over the olive-orchard-decked hill, and a tiny spotter plane doing circles above it.
By 7:30 I decided it was time to get in the car and go see what was happening. That was about the time that a low-flying helicopter flew over the house, trailing an overflowing bucket of water from the nearby farm dam.
Sure enough, the brush-covered hill in the middle of our mountain arena was on fire, and the flames were spreading toward the "rich" houses perched on the hillside. We found a good viewing spot and watched 2 helicopters dump water, the spotter plane still circling. Lights of fire trucks and police flashed red and blue far below. As the sky darkened, the flames could be seen shooting high into the night sky as pine trees exploded into fire.
We weren't the only onlookers. Various vehicles stopped off near us to watch a few minutes, then left. We were devoted observers though. We stayed until we couldn't take the cold anymore and the last of the sky turned black.
I pity the little creatures trapped in the blaze - tortoises, baby birds, insects. There's nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. And yet fire is necessary in this particular biosphere. It brings new life for proteas, certain trees and fynbos plants.
A few years ago, the entire ring of the Hottentots Holland mountains was aflame. It attracted almost as many viewers in their cars as the nationally-famous Christmas lights in the main road! Cars from near and far converged in the night to watch the mountains glow red.
The mountain beneath which the college dwells is part of the chain, and was one of the victims - the flames came up the back of the mountain where the slope is not so steep, and by midnight the crest of the cliffs was outlined in massive bursts of flames, all along the ridge.
It's amazing how fires attract people. We have this fascination with things going up in flame, especially if they're doing so in spectacular ways. Perhaps it's a throw-back to our Neanderthal days, this fascination with the dancing heat and colour. Whatever the case, there's nothing quite as enthralling as fire and flame against the night sky.
::update::
The fire rages on. The wind has changed direction and increased in velocity - the helicopters are back, water-bombing as quickly as they can. It seems many of the houses are in danger. A long day ahead for fire-fighters!
By 7:30 I decided it was time to get in the car and go see what was happening. That was about the time that a low-flying helicopter flew over the house, trailing an overflowing bucket of water from the nearby farm dam.
Sure enough, the brush-covered hill in the middle of our mountain arena was on fire, and the flames were spreading toward the "rich" houses perched on the hillside. We found a good viewing spot and watched 2 helicopters dump water, the spotter plane still circling. Lights of fire trucks and police flashed red and blue far below. As the sky darkened, the flames could be seen shooting high into the night sky as pine trees exploded into fire.
We weren't the only onlookers. Various vehicles stopped off near us to watch a few minutes, then left. We were devoted observers though. We stayed until we couldn't take the cold anymore and the last of the sky turned black.
I pity the little creatures trapped in the blaze - tortoises, baby birds, insects. There's nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. And yet fire is necessary in this particular biosphere. It brings new life for proteas, certain trees and fynbos plants.
A few years ago, the entire ring of the Hottentots Holland mountains was aflame. It attracted almost as many viewers in their cars as the nationally-famous Christmas lights in the main road! Cars from near and far converged in the night to watch the mountains glow red.
The mountain beneath which the college dwells is part of the chain, and was one of the victims - the flames came up the back of the mountain where the slope is not so steep, and by midnight the crest of the cliffs was outlined in massive bursts of flames, all along the ridge.
It's amazing how fires attract people. We have this fascination with things going up in flame, especially if they're doing so in spectacular ways. Perhaps it's a throw-back to our Neanderthal days, this fascination with the dancing heat and colour. Whatever the case, there's nothing quite as enthralling as fire and flame against the night sky.
::update::
The fire rages on. The wind has changed direction and increased in velocity - the helicopters are back, water-bombing as quickly as they can. It seems many of the houses are in danger. A long day ahead for fire-fighters!
A good TV week
It's a good week for TV. We saw previews last night for 2 things starting up again that we love:
We were half-way through a series of "Sue Thomas: FBEye" when 9/11 hit a while back, and the rest of the series died a quick death because it was never delivered to South Africa. There were a number of issues around that. But tomorrow it's back! My son and I love watching that.
Another thing we're addicted to (to my mother's horror!) is X-files. We were rather put-out when the series abruptly ended with Scully giving birth - but now it's back with the final season, including Ms Xena in the cast. It's on WAY later than it was, but we've always taped it and saved it for our "Saturday night entertainment". No problems! My son's watched it for years now, which is saying something as he's only 10 1/2, but I do sorta censor what he watches. If I see too high an age restriction, or can see an upsetting/extreme scene on the way, we either don't watch it, or I tell him when to close his eyes and when to open them.
When I was little (about 6), I happened to be the only one in the room when a programme on the Bermuda Triangle came on. Didn't mention it was age-restricted, watched it and payed for it in nightmares for ages! :) My son doesn't seem to have that problem. Comes from watching Jurrassic Park as your first film at 6 months old I guess.
So, we're gonna be couch potatoes this week and veg out in front of our fave programmes. I feel a few more kilo's coming on around the hips... :)
We were half-way through a series of "Sue Thomas: FBEye" when 9/11 hit a while back, and the rest of the series died a quick death because it was never delivered to South Africa. There were a number of issues around that. But tomorrow it's back! My son and I love watching that.
Another thing we're addicted to (to my mother's horror!) is X-files. We were rather put-out when the series abruptly ended with Scully giving birth - but now it's back with the final season, including Ms Xena in the cast. It's on WAY later than it was, but we've always taped it and saved it for our "Saturday night entertainment". No problems! My son's watched it for years now, which is saying something as he's only 10 1/2, but I do sorta censor what he watches. If I see too high an age restriction, or can see an upsetting/extreme scene on the way, we either don't watch it, or I tell him when to close his eyes and when to open them.
When I was little (about 6), I happened to be the only one in the room when a programme on the Bermuda Triangle came on. Didn't mention it was age-restricted, watched it and payed for it in nightmares for ages! :) My son doesn't seem to have that problem. Comes from watching Jurrassic Park as your first film at 6 months old I guess.
So, we're gonna be couch potatoes this week and veg out in front of our fave programmes. I feel a few more kilo's coming on around the hips... :)
Some days the pigeon, some days the statue
Ever had one of those days when you're down and sad, yet you can't figure out why? Well, that's where I'm at today.
Nothing bad's happened, it's just a normal day in every respect. And yet there's this impending sense of doom, of gloom, of disaster around the corner. I just want to find a dark corner (with a dark chocolate) and go have a good cry, or something like that.
Not sure how I'm going to shake it, but probably won't be blogging much today. Got a total mind-blank.
Nothing bad's happened, it's just a normal day in every respect. And yet there's this impending sense of doom, of gloom, of disaster around the corner. I just want to find a dark corner (with a dark chocolate) and go have a good cry, or something like that.
Not sure how I'm going to shake it, but probably won't be blogging much today. Got a total mind-blank.
Trading Churches
In speaking to my dad yesterday about various move-related issues, I asked about churches in the area where I hope to work. He obligingly told me there's the traditional one, and a whole pile of others, in various degrees of contemporary, right up to what he called an "extreme contemporary" (wild) one.
Trouble is, I don't know what I'd want. Yeah, I like contemporary. Too traditional and I could leave with a frustration headache. But I don't want wild for wildness' sake. I don't want a lot of noise just so it's the opposite of traditional. Although I'd like to still be able to use the talent God's given me in worship music, I want something more than jumping around and blowing the eardrums.
I may still have a very long search ahead of me for a group that feels as I do, that we'd rather get along with Being church than find a group that's Doing it loud and proud.
So if you have any knowledge of hide-away, emerging, community, authentic, Christian, underground people - oh, you know what I'm talking about, and that it's not easily label-able! :) - in the Cooranbong / Sydney area, kindly let me know, or I may have to start one. And that sounds like a lot of hard work...
Trouble is, I don't know what I'd want. Yeah, I like contemporary. Too traditional and I could leave with a frustration headache. But I don't want wild for wildness' sake. I don't want a lot of noise just so it's the opposite of traditional. Although I'd like to still be able to use the talent God's given me in worship music, I want something more than jumping around and blowing the eardrums.
I may still have a very long search ahead of me for a group that feels as I do, that we'd rather get along with Being church than find a group that's Doing it loud and proud.
So if you have any knowledge of hide-away, emerging, community, authentic, Christian, underground people - oh, you know what I'm talking about, and that it's not easily label-able! :) - in the Cooranbong / Sydney area, kindly let me know, or I may have to start one. And that sounds like a lot of hard work...
Raising Boys
Mom, who is always sending me little bits of this and that, recently sent a book called "Raising Boys" by Steve Biddulph. I'm only half-way through it, but so far it's pretty excellent.
There are, of course, many things in the book that make me sad as a single mom - things my son has already missed out on and will miss out on, hints that having a dad around prevents so many teen problems, talk of time spent learning how to be a man, time spent being father and son. Yes, I can "appoint" good male mentors to help my son with this, and I hope my dad will take some of this role once we're in Australia, but a real live dad would be so, so much better.
I just don't see myself marrying anyone, any time soon, or perhaps any time ever. Am I being selfish, making my son miss out on a dad-full family, by not even being willing to go look for a partner? Perhaps. Am I just too lazy to go through the hassle of dating, and dumping, and such again? Perhaps. Am I even more scared of making the same relationship mistakes I did so many times? Most definitely. It's a dilemma I'm not sure how to deal with, and one that may permanently affect my son's future, the way he copes with life.
Sure, mom's got a LOOOONNNNG list of "nice young men that turned up at our church today", ready and waiting for my arrival, but if it's meant to happen I'd prefer to let God do the usual open-doors/closed-doors thing and let me go about things that way.
Anyway, back to the subject - I get way off track way too often! Raising boys isn't easy, especially as a single mom. So far I think I've coped, by God's grace only, but I know there's going to be miles and miles of challenges ahead as he hits the teen years.
One thing that scares me about moving to Australia is the prevalence of drug and alcohol abuse among teens (or so I've heard/seen). I so don't want my son into that! I'm still working through how to keep him from it. One thing the book emphasizes is the importance of community and mentors and such - something many of us know from "being church" too! Perhaps therein lies the answer to my dilemma. A community, close-knit as the extended families of old. A place to belong, a place to learn, a place to grow and rest.
There's still half a book to go. Lots to learn, and even more to attempt to put into practice. I think I'm gonna need all the help I can get!
::update::
It never ceases to amaze me at how unrelated blogs can come up with similar things on any given day. Take the case of The Green Man's Manhood Week, using none other than the same author, Steve Biddulph's book, on Manhood! Looks like it's going to be a good week for men on his blog, and I'm gonna lurk...:)
There are, of course, many things in the book that make me sad as a single mom - things my son has already missed out on and will miss out on, hints that having a dad around prevents so many teen problems, talk of time spent learning how to be a man, time spent being father and son. Yes, I can "appoint" good male mentors to help my son with this, and I hope my dad will take some of this role once we're in Australia, but a real live dad would be so, so much better.
I just don't see myself marrying anyone, any time soon, or perhaps any time ever. Am I being selfish, making my son miss out on a dad-full family, by not even being willing to go look for a partner? Perhaps. Am I just too lazy to go through the hassle of dating, and dumping, and such again? Perhaps. Am I even more scared of making the same relationship mistakes I did so many times? Most definitely. It's a dilemma I'm not sure how to deal with, and one that may permanently affect my son's future, the way he copes with life.
Sure, mom's got a LOOOONNNNG list of "nice young men that turned up at our church today", ready and waiting for my arrival, but if it's meant to happen I'd prefer to let God do the usual open-doors/closed-doors thing and let me go about things that way.
Anyway, back to the subject - I get way off track way too often! Raising boys isn't easy, especially as a single mom. So far I think I've coped, by God's grace only, but I know there's going to be miles and miles of challenges ahead as he hits the teen years.
One thing that scares me about moving to Australia is the prevalence of drug and alcohol abuse among teens (or so I've heard/seen). I so don't want my son into that! I'm still working through how to keep him from it. One thing the book emphasizes is the importance of community and mentors and such - something many of us know from "being church" too! Perhaps therein lies the answer to my dilemma. A community, close-knit as the extended families of old. A place to belong, a place to learn, a place to grow and rest.
There's still half a book to go. Lots to learn, and even more to attempt to put into practice. I think I'm gonna need all the help I can get!
::update::
It never ceases to amaze me at how unrelated blogs can come up with similar things on any given day. Take the case of The Green Man's Manhood Week, using none other than the same author, Steve Biddulph's book, on Manhood! Looks like it's going to be a good week for men on his blog, and I'm gonna lurk...:)
House Church & Kids
Found this article over at Southpoint, regarding what to do with kids in a house church. Good stuff! If you're house-churching, go have a look.
YES! Good news for a Monday
My boss returned today from various travels all over the world, building partnerships and agreements with other educational institutions. One of them that he visited is the place I'm applying for a job. He met the mega-boss and was impressed by the place.
As a result, today he's emailing the mega-boss, recommending me as highly as he can without bribery. Now, I'm pretty happy about this, as you can imagine. But perhaps my boss just can't wait to get rid of me? :)
In preparation for a possible move, yesterday I tackled the garage and all the stored junk there. I ended up with one box of "keep" stuff, a huge pile of things to throw out, and many, many things to be sold or donated. Including enough books to start my own library. It was quite an expedition - I discovered things I had completely forgotten about, and got to throw out things I'm glad to see gone. Lots of fun!
I've blogged before about how I can't really hear God speaking, but how I go by open doors and "instinct". Everything's telling me that this is the time that God wants us to go. It's not going to be at all easy though - I'm going to be starting from scratch in every single way. It's going to mean giving up some comforts and trusting completely in God to lead us and help us. But I think the time has come.
You're sure to hear a lot more on this subject as time goes on! Be warned...
As a result, today he's emailing the mega-boss, recommending me as highly as he can without bribery. Now, I'm pretty happy about this, as you can imagine. But perhaps my boss just can't wait to get rid of me? :)
In preparation for a possible move, yesterday I tackled the garage and all the stored junk there. I ended up with one box of "keep" stuff, a huge pile of things to throw out, and many, many things to be sold or donated. Including enough books to start my own library. It was quite an expedition - I discovered things I had completely forgotten about, and got to throw out things I'm glad to see gone. Lots of fun!
I've blogged before about how I can't really hear God speaking, but how I go by open doors and "instinct". Everything's telling me that this is the time that God wants us to go. It's not going to be at all easy though - I'm going to be starting from scratch in every single way. It's going to mean giving up some comforts and trusting completely in God to lead us and help us. But I think the time has come.
You're sure to hear a lot more on this subject as time goes on! Be warned...
What is a pastor?
Still busy typing course descriptions into our new info book, today as part of my never-ending work load, and came across this one for the course Pastoral Counselling:
"Understanding that Pastoring is by definition counselling".
Although it seems to be in direct contrast to some of the other courses being taught our future pastors, whose descriptions are grating against my inner being as I type them, this one made me pull up short and think.
We seem to have boxed pastors into the "preacher and slayer of fires" compartment. I don't think I really see most pastors as counsellors - and perhaps that's a problem I need to correct. They DO tend to run around managing a large group that like to be known as church, and you see very little of the counselling unless you look for it. And yet I remember my dad doing quite a bit - late-night, early morning, 7 days a week, at the member's beck and call.
I guess even preaching could be called counselling - helping folk come to an understanding of God and where they are in relation, aiding in spiritual development etc - if it's a GOOD sermon of course! :)
Just a small sentance in my work-day that sent me off on a different stream of thought.
"Understanding that Pastoring is by definition counselling".
Although it seems to be in direct contrast to some of the other courses being taught our future pastors, whose descriptions are grating against my inner being as I type them, this one made me pull up short and think.
We seem to have boxed pastors into the "preacher and slayer of fires" compartment. I don't think I really see most pastors as counsellors - and perhaps that's a problem I need to correct. They DO tend to run around managing a large group that like to be known as church, and you see very little of the counselling unless you look for it. And yet I remember my dad doing quite a bit - late-night, early morning, 7 days a week, at the member's beck and call.
I guess even preaching could be called counselling - helping folk come to an understanding of God and where they are in relation, aiding in spiritual development etc - if it's a GOOD sermon of course! :)
Just a small sentance in my work-day that sent me off on a different stream of thought.
Co-incidence? I think not....
I was in a rush on Friday afternoon. I had a long list of things to do and places to be. First stop, the post-office, to pick up my brand-new credit cards for the next 2-year period. As I neared the place, I felt something strange going on with the car (I'm pretty sensative to unusual noises, rattlings etc.). It felt as if one of the wheels were about to come off, or perhaps were seriously out of kilter.
Well, fortunately there's a wheel-balancing place nearby, and on a snap decision I headed straight there, just in case. The car was jacked up into the air and the front wheels removed for potential balancing.
And that's when we discovered that:
a) There was a nail lodged in the right-hand wheel, causing a slow leak of air and requiring frequent re-filling. And yes, that could be fixed for a few bucks.
b) The left-hand tyre was in imminent danger of bursting, thanks to a very worn spot that I wouldn't have noticed. This was causing the wobble. And yes, it could be replaced without breaking the bank.
So one was fixed, the next replaced, they were balanced and refitted, and I went on my way rejoicing.
Was it co-incidence that my credit cards arrived this week and that I had to make a trip in the opposite direction from my normal Friday shopping to pick them up? Was it co-incidence that I should feel a funny wobble just as I got there and stop by the wheel place as a result?
Nope, I don't think so. Just one more way God's making sure I'm OK.
Before you call He will answer...
Well, fortunately there's a wheel-balancing place nearby, and on a snap decision I headed straight there, just in case. The car was jacked up into the air and the front wheels removed for potential balancing.
And that's when we discovered that:
a) There was a nail lodged in the right-hand wheel, causing a slow leak of air and requiring frequent re-filling. And yes, that could be fixed for a few bucks.
b) The left-hand tyre was in imminent danger of bursting, thanks to a very worn spot that I wouldn't have noticed. This was causing the wobble. And yes, it could be replaced without breaking the bank.
So one was fixed, the next replaced, they were balanced and refitted, and I went on my way rejoicing.
Was it co-incidence that my credit cards arrived this week and that I had to make a trip in the opposite direction from my normal Friday shopping to pick them up? Was it co-incidence that I should feel a funny wobble just as I got there and stop by the wheel place as a result?
Nope, I don't think so. Just one more way God's making sure I'm OK.
Before you call He will answer...
Church on the Move
I've been using the PrayKids magazine (free printable samples so far) for my son's "church" every Sabbath.
This week's one has to do with prayer-walking. It's something I'm not sure my son has even heard of, and I've only done it once that I can think of. But, as it's hard for him to sit still and listen, this could be a very good way for him to learn. I'm going to take him out into the neighbourhood as we go through the lessons and articles, and put it directly into practice. We'll haul his Kid's Bible along so he can look up the verses, and find a tree to sit under if there's a long bit to read.
Now THAT'S what I call a church on the move! :)
This week's one has to do with prayer-walking. It's something I'm not sure my son has even heard of, and I've only done it once that I can think of. But, as it's hard for him to sit still and listen, this could be a very good way for him to learn. I'm going to take him out into the neighbourhood as we go through the lessons and articles, and put it directly into practice. We'll haul his Kid's Bible along so he can look up the verses, and find a tree to sit under if there's a long bit to read.
Now THAT'S what I call a church on the move! :)
AT LAST!
I've finally found a blogger in this area who is not only Christian, but also involved in a community-type church with regular gatherings of the groups. It seems Christian South African Bloggers are a rare breed, difficult to spot in the bushveld.
You can bet I'll be checking in to Shane's blog regularly to see what the locals are up to! For now I'm just catching up on archives and ancient history of both the blog and the group he's in.
You can bet I'll be checking in to Shane's blog regularly to see what the locals are up to! For now I'm just catching up on archives and ancient history of both the blog and the group he's in.
Learning Curve
Today I'm doing something I've never done before. Proof-reading an Afrikaans-to-English translation of a Grade 6 Mathematics book for a lady teacher in the area.
Although my brain is tempted to skip long paragraphs, just skimming the surface, I have this sense of responsibility over-ruling it. It's up to me to check each and every word, not only the spelling, but the grammar, the layout, EVERYTHING. Any mistake reflects back on me.
What a great big responsibility! And not as easy as it looked at first....
::update::
It's done and returned - and I actually got paid for it! I told the lady she could give a donation, but what she gave was enough for our week's groceries. Thank you Lord! At this time of year it's greatly needed.
Although my brain is tempted to skip long paragraphs, just skimming the surface, I have this sense of responsibility over-ruling it. It's up to me to check each and every word, not only the spelling, but the grammar, the layout, EVERYTHING. Any mistake reflects back on me.
What a great big responsibility! And not as easy as it looked at first....
::update::
It's done and returned - and I actually got paid for it! I told the lady she could give a donation, but what she gave was enough for our week's groceries. Thank you Lord! At this time of year it's greatly needed.
Eye-Openers
While doing switchboard duty as a stand-in I got a chance to hang around the alternative worship site a bit. Did a bit of reading, then hit upon the link to Open and Closed Models of church. It struck me, HARD, just how closed a church I serve in right now. Everything is led from up front, we're all facing one way and not looking at each other, and there's a back pew to hide in. The service still centres around the sermon - which is going to happen like it or not. A few weeks ago we had an awesome time of testimony and praise, and could have gone home without the sermon, but no, there's a sermon planned and a sermon there will be! It was a bit of a let-down, frankly.
Now I admit, the church building is not set up to be anything other than led from the front. There are fixed-in-place pews and the stage takes some climbing to aspire to! But within the worship and the things we do week after week, I'm sure we could be more circle-ised (is that a word?) and less leader-focused. We seem to be pretty good at doing church, watching church happen, but then we all go home again.
I guess I am still craving that organic, community-facilitated, in-it-with-everything, focused on God worship. And as much as I love playing in the band and the goosebump enthusiasm of the youth service, I know that what I yearn for deep down is not going to happen there. Sure, we get touches of it now and then, and they're completely unplanned.
I really would like to see more facilitation and less leading in our worship, but fear that it's not possible within the traditions and context of this church. It's been built on a long history of growing in a certain direction and I don't think me, as a passing worshipper, would be able to make the slightest dent on it.
Yes, I've said stuff to the worship committee, but I'm the youngest (at age 32!) of the group, and they totally can't relate to what's in my head. Some things have made a small impression, but there's yet to be any implimentation or change.
I know I shouldn't give up hope that God will work in ways that meet this group's needs - which may not be my needs! - where they're at and where they're ready to be. So perhaps I should stop trying to do God's job and just do mine.
Now I admit, the church building is not set up to be anything other than led from the front. There are fixed-in-place pews and the stage takes some climbing to aspire to! But within the worship and the things we do week after week, I'm sure we could be more circle-ised (is that a word?) and less leader-focused. We seem to be pretty good at doing church, watching church happen, but then we all go home again.
I guess I am still craving that organic, community-facilitated, in-it-with-everything, focused on God worship. And as much as I love playing in the band and the goosebump enthusiasm of the youth service, I know that what I yearn for deep down is not going to happen there. Sure, we get touches of it now and then, and they're completely unplanned.
I really would like to see more facilitation and less leading in our worship, but fear that it's not possible within the traditions and context of this church. It's been built on a long history of growing in a certain direction and I don't think me, as a passing worshipper, would be able to make the slightest dent on it.
Yes, I've said stuff to the worship committee, but I'm the youngest (at age 32!) of the group, and they totally can't relate to what's in my head. Some things have made a small impression, but there's yet to be any implimentation or change.
I know I shouldn't give up hope that God will work in ways that meet this group's needs - which may not be my needs! - where they're at and where they're ready to be. So perhaps I should stop trying to do God's job and just do mine.
Typing Trauma (going a bit off-track as usual)
My main duty today is to finish typing a lot of stuff for our college info books. OK, I do type fast, but I think my fingers might scream and run away if they see the keyboard too much longer.
What amazes me is that I'm copying the info from lecturer's official course outlines - and just about all of them have spelling, grammar, outdated info and layout "issues". And these folk teach our students? Scary.... Anyway, will be returning them with "comments" to be sorted out and in the meantime am typing the self-corrected versions of the info. I guess no-one's perfect. It just amazes me, that's all.
It's funny though, since going somewhat off the beaten track in the church area, I'm seeing everything with new eyes - including the course content of totally un-church-like courses like accouting, or psychology, or music. I'm thinking, "How does this relate to real-life?" I'm wondering if these courses are TRULY preparing students for life out there, for the work environment, especially when taught by folk who haven't been in that work environment for 20 years!
Same thing with our pastoral students - they're being taught by folk who haven't pastored for many years, who have no experience of what's happening now, old guys who should have retired already. They're being trained for the past, not the future. It kinda gets me worried about how they'll cope when they finish their studies and go out to do their jobs.
There are already many graduates who have become disillusioned with the set-up, but are lost and wandering, not quite sure where to from here. Some have left the ministry completely, lost faith in God, gone to do other things. None were taught about home churches, church planting or "underground" movements and probably would have a hard time fitting them in to what they've been taught.
I would hesitate to suggest they need to forget just about everything they learnt here for 4 years and start from a different angle, but that is maybe what's required.
Hey - no-one else here wants to listen to me on this, so guess what, you get to! :) Will shut up now.
Back to the typing. Will blog again when my fingers can stand it!
What amazes me is that I'm copying the info from lecturer's official course outlines - and just about all of them have spelling, grammar, outdated info and layout "issues". And these folk teach our students? Scary.... Anyway, will be returning them with "comments" to be sorted out and in the meantime am typing the self-corrected versions of the info. I guess no-one's perfect. It just amazes me, that's all.
It's funny though, since going somewhat off the beaten track in the church area, I'm seeing everything with new eyes - including the course content of totally un-church-like courses like accouting, or psychology, or music. I'm thinking, "How does this relate to real-life?" I'm wondering if these courses are TRULY preparing students for life out there, for the work environment, especially when taught by folk who haven't been in that work environment for 20 years!
Same thing with our pastoral students - they're being taught by folk who haven't pastored for many years, who have no experience of what's happening now, old guys who should have retired already. They're being trained for the past, not the future. It kinda gets me worried about how they'll cope when they finish their studies and go out to do their jobs.
There are already many graduates who have become disillusioned with the set-up, but are lost and wandering, not quite sure where to from here. Some have left the ministry completely, lost faith in God, gone to do other things. None were taught about home churches, church planting or "underground" movements and probably would have a hard time fitting them in to what they've been taught.
I would hesitate to suggest they need to forget just about everything they learnt here for 4 years and start from a different angle, but that is maybe what's required.
Hey - no-one else here wants to listen to me on this, so guess what, you get to! :) Will shut up now.
Back to the typing. Will blog again when my fingers can stand it!
Lessons For Aussies
From my fave "news" provider, Fark:
Expert to teach Australians flirting and speed dating, will replace previous method of drinking massive amounts of beer and marrying whoever you wake up with
I know a couple of Aussies that can use this, including a nice farmer guy that I've recently given up on after 7 years of waiting for him to make a move. Hey, I had the time to hang around and wait. So, am I desperate, or just plain pathetic? :)
Expert to teach Australians flirting and speed dating, will replace previous method of drinking massive amounts of beer and marrying whoever you wake up with
I know a couple of Aussies that can use this, including a nice farmer guy that I've recently given up on after 7 years of waiting for him to make a move. Hey, I had the time to hang around and wait. So, am I desperate, or just plain pathetic? :)
Emergent baptism?
Here's a thought - where does the practice of baptism fit into the emergent church? Is it something that's happening in the alternative gatherings of folk to serve and worship, or has it been thrown out as irrelevant, along with all the traditional "church" stuff?
It just struck me that I haven't heard anything about baptism at all - nothing mentioned anywhere.
And yet it's a strong and Biblical part of committment to Jesus, a visual and public step in walking in God's way. So where is it?
If anyone reading this knows, I'd really like to hear it!
::further thought::
Do only pastors get to baptise? Is this why baptism isn't around in emergent groups led by the man-in-the-street, or by former pastors who have left the institutional church for a different way? Or is baptism just not relevant in the emerging movement?
::and one more thought::
Baptism is first mentioned in Matthew when John is out in the desert baptising folk. So where did it start? Who started it? Why?
It just struck me that I haven't heard anything about baptism at all - nothing mentioned anywhere.
And yet it's a strong and Biblical part of committment to Jesus, a visual and public step in walking in God's way. So where is it?
If anyone reading this knows, I'd really like to hear it!
::further thought::
Do only pastors get to baptise? Is this why baptism isn't around in emergent groups led by the man-in-the-street, or by former pastors who have left the institutional church for a different way? Or is baptism just not relevant in the emerging movement?
::and one more thought::
Baptism is first mentioned in Matthew when John is out in the desert baptising folk. So where did it start? Who started it? Why?
Faith of a Child
In wandering through the book of Matthew this week something really stood out in one verse. Jesus was talking to his disciples about the kind of faith they need to end up in heaven, and my translation said, "This kind of faith only comes from sincere prayer and fasting."
Sincere prayer? When last did I really, truly pray sincerely? Not just a "thank you for a good day and please be with me as I sleep" type prayer, but sincere prayer... Do I even know how to pray really sincerely? I don't know if I do. What would I pray about, what can I be sincere about, and not just touch on surface, shallow stuff?
And fasting - well, even though I don't eat a lot, I still need breakfast to make it to lunch, lunch to make it through the afternoon, but can usually skip supper. I don't think I've ever really fasted - I know I can't while having to work at the same time. It seems physically impossible that I'll function well if I do. It's a pretty good excuse.... right???
But if the kind of faith that ends me in eternity requires sincere prayer and fasting, it's no wonder I feel so empty at times! So shallow and disconnected. It's simple. I'm not completely walking the walk, just taking occasional steps. There's more that's needed and I need to be prepared, like the rich young man, to give up a lot in order to gain eternity. And not just possessions either. I need to give up habits and comforts and routines and place my trust entirely in God that He'll work when I let go.
I need to learn how to do that, how to completely let go without my mind constantly going back to what I'm giving up, or my body crying out for it's old routines and habits. I need to learn to completely surrender all that I am, all that I have, all that I do. It isn't easy...
Sincere prayer? When last did I really, truly pray sincerely? Not just a "thank you for a good day and please be with me as I sleep" type prayer, but sincere prayer... Do I even know how to pray really sincerely? I don't know if I do. What would I pray about, what can I be sincere about, and not just touch on surface, shallow stuff?
And fasting - well, even though I don't eat a lot, I still need breakfast to make it to lunch, lunch to make it through the afternoon, but can usually skip supper. I don't think I've ever really fasted - I know I can't while having to work at the same time. It seems physically impossible that I'll function well if I do. It's a pretty good excuse.... right???
But if the kind of faith that ends me in eternity requires sincere prayer and fasting, it's no wonder I feel so empty at times! So shallow and disconnected. It's simple. I'm not completely walking the walk, just taking occasional steps. There's more that's needed and I need to be prepared, like the rich young man, to give up a lot in order to gain eternity. And not just possessions either. I need to give up habits and comforts and routines and place my trust entirely in God that He'll work when I let go.
I need to learn how to do that, how to completely let go without my mind constantly going back to what I'm giving up, or my body crying out for it's old routines and habits. I need to learn to completely surrender all that I am, all that I have, all that I do. It isn't easy...
Every Tribe and Tongue
Something struck me last night while reading Matt 19:28. In the version I have (The Clear Word) it says that the 12 disciples were to oversee the 12 tribes in heaven. Now I'm not sure if there will literally be tribes in heaven or whatever, but....
Got me wondering. How would we be divided up into tribes in heaven if we were never part of the original ones? Perhaps by personality, or by ministry.
If so, I think I fit into the tribe of Levi - the musicians who served in the temple. I've also done my fair share of "temple cleaning" and "caring for the objects used in service" - the pastor's family got involved if the care-taker didn't pitch. Our favourite Friday-night activity was folding bulletins.... :)
So - which tribe would you belong to?
Got me wondering. How would we be divided up into tribes in heaven if we were never part of the original ones? Perhaps by personality, or by ministry.
If so, I think I fit into the tribe of Levi - the musicians who served in the temple. I've also done my fair share of "temple cleaning" and "caring for the objects used in service" - the pastor's family got involved if the care-taker didn't pitch. Our favourite Friday-night activity was folding bulletins.... :)
So - which tribe would you belong to?
What's good about today
After a pretty negative last post, thought I'd better redeem myself by finding the good stuff in today, so here goes:
Ummmmm....oh, I know, I got one. It's cooler today with on-and-off rain. Not blistering hot so you feel like you've left the oven door open. Humans, birds and bees are thankful.
Some more - we have water! Granted, the neighbours went out and left their taps running upstairs while the water was off. When it came on, it came rattling down the pipes past my place - for FIVE HOURS, until they saw fit to come home and panic about leaving the water on. Oh well. Not the first water issues they've had. The husband once went to bed with something running and woke up only after I noticed water seeping out my light fittings and making gigantic bubble-like "dams" behind the paint on the wall. But hold on, this is supposed to be a positive post, so let me move right along...
OK, another one - in the process of being thrown out of my office into a tiny hole, I get to chuck out all my useless junk, pare down to basics, clean up and clear out. It's gonna save me doing so when/if our Australian move comes through, and I start life in the hole with a manageable bare minimum. No negative thoughts allowed, so no further expansion on the joys of working in the hole.
Ah, one more. My office chili plant has now produced enough chilies for me to harvest and stick in olive oil and garlic. YUM. Talk about edible landscaping - I've got it down to a fine art!
Oh, then there's internet access. Where would I be without it. When all else fails I get to escape into a fantasy world.
Had a few chocolate truffles after lunch - that was a very good thing. Could do with a few more, but I'm determined to make a good first impression when hitting Australia - which means less hips and more energy. In other words, "eat a bit better and do some exercise for goodness sake!"
One more thing - my 3 new rose bushes are in full bloom. A joy to come home to, as each bud opens into full splendour.
And I heard from 2 long-lost friends today. That was pretty good. One I haven't heard from in 14 years, the other in 5. Not bad for one day's contacts.
That's just about all I can think of that's good. I'm pretty sure there's a lot I'm overlooking, but I have the post-lunch sleepies, and really can't think anymore.
Coffee - now THERE'S a good thing and a very good idea right now.
Ummmmm....oh, I know, I got one. It's cooler today with on-and-off rain. Not blistering hot so you feel like you've left the oven door open. Humans, birds and bees are thankful.
Some more - we have water! Granted, the neighbours went out and left their taps running upstairs while the water was off. When it came on, it came rattling down the pipes past my place - for FIVE HOURS, until they saw fit to come home and panic about leaving the water on. Oh well. Not the first water issues they've had. The husband once went to bed with something running and woke up only after I noticed water seeping out my light fittings and making gigantic bubble-like "dams" behind the paint on the wall. But hold on, this is supposed to be a positive post, so let me move right along...
OK, another one - in the process of being thrown out of my office into a tiny hole, I get to chuck out all my useless junk, pare down to basics, clean up and clear out. It's gonna save me doing so when/if our Australian move comes through, and I start life in the hole with a manageable bare minimum. No negative thoughts allowed, so no further expansion on the joys of working in the hole.
Ah, one more. My office chili plant has now produced enough chilies for me to harvest and stick in olive oil and garlic. YUM. Talk about edible landscaping - I've got it down to a fine art!
Oh, then there's internet access. Where would I be without it. When all else fails I get to escape into a fantasy world.
Had a few chocolate truffles after lunch - that was a very good thing. Could do with a few more, but I'm determined to make a good first impression when hitting Australia - which means less hips and more energy. In other words, "eat a bit better and do some exercise for goodness sake!"
One more thing - my 3 new rose bushes are in full bloom. A joy to come home to, as each bud opens into full splendour.
And I heard from 2 long-lost friends today. That was pretty good. One I haven't heard from in 14 years, the other in 5. Not bad for one day's contacts.
That's just about all I can think of that's good. I'm pretty sure there's a lot I'm overlooking, but I have the post-lunch sleepies, and really can't think anymore.
Coffee - now THERE'S a good thing and a very good idea right now.
It Ain't Pretty
There's a lot going on in my mind today, and if I were to blog about it, it wouldn't be pretty. I'm not sure that as a Christian attempting to "be church" it would be a good idea to say "out loud" what's going on in the head. But hey, what are blogs for.
After only a few days back at work it's stressing me out no end. The new year has come dragging all the old baggage with it - the same lack of logical thought or decision making by the powers-that-be, the same old crap, the same old mis-treatment of us bottom-feeders. It's hard to maintain a God-like attitude and treat those around you with respect and love when they're flinging dirt at you and covering you up in any junk they can lay their hands on.
I really am trying, but the results ain't pretty so far. It's perhaps best that today I don't venture too far out my office for any lengthy period of time, just keep to myself and do my job.
It's days like this that really test one's committment to change. It's real easy to slip back into old nasty thoughts and don't-give-a-damn attitudes. They're comfy old slippers to wear. But I have chosen the pointy high-heels of trying to live my beliefs. Sometimes I trip and fall, lose my balance, get blisters. They're not the most comfortable of footwear.
But I know that this world is not all there is to life. Sure it's crappy down here, but there's something way beyond anything we can imagine beyond this. That thought, and that thought alone, is what's keeping me going today. One step at a time...
After only a few days back at work it's stressing me out no end. The new year has come dragging all the old baggage with it - the same lack of logical thought or decision making by the powers-that-be, the same old crap, the same old mis-treatment of us bottom-feeders. It's hard to maintain a God-like attitude and treat those around you with respect and love when they're flinging dirt at you and covering you up in any junk they can lay their hands on.
I really am trying, but the results ain't pretty so far. It's perhaps best that today I don't venture too far out my office for any lengthy period of time, just keep to myself and do my job.
It's days like this that really test one's committment to change. It's real easy to slip back into old nasty thoughts and don't-give-a-damn attitudes. They're comfy old slippers to wear. But I have chosen the pointy high-heels of trying to live my beliefs. Sometimes I trip and fall, lose my balance, get blisters. They're not the most comfortable of footwear.
But I know that this world is not all there is to life. Sure it's crappy down here, but there's something way beyond anything we can imagine beyond this. That thought, and that thought alone, is what's keeping me going today. One step at a time...
I will sing
I just wanted to share the words for "I will sing", which I mentioned earlier today. Early in 2003 I went through a time when everything seemed to be going wrong, there was one disaster after another, and I couldn't see a way out. Then this song came along and made all the difference. Once I started leaning on God, He provided Major Miracles - BIG HUGE ONES! So here's the song:
Lord you seem so far away
A million miles or more, it seems today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must admit right now that it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as you give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because your word is true
I will sing
Lord, it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans you have for me
But I will put my trust in you
Knowing that you died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as you give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because your word is true
I will sing
Lord you seem so far away
A million miles or more, it seems today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must admit right now that it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as you give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because your word is true
I will sing
Lord, it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans you have for me
But I will put my trust in you
Knowing that you died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as you give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing, I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour you
Because your word is true
I will sing
Lesson #1, 2004
Never feed your favourite lapdog Brie offcuts on New Year's eve, not unless you want her to start her year as sick as, ... um ... well, as sick as a dog! There's nothing like waking up to a dog with the runs first thing in the year. Or starting the year off wondering if she'll see tomorrow.
More lessons to come as the year progresses, I'm sure. At least I learnt from this one.
More lessons to come as the year progresses, I'm sure. At least I learnt from this one.
Music Extremes - and a bit of a ramble
This weekend I used one of my birthday gift vouchers to stock up on 2 new CDs for my ever-growing collection. I've been eyeing "God Will Make a Way: Best of Don Moen" for a while now, mostly because it has the song "I will sing" on it, which meant a lot to me when I was going through some really tough times. But it came in under the value of the gift voucher so I hit the discount rack and got a Dance/Club remix of a couple of worship songs just for the heck of it, for "variety", to get up to the voucher amount.
Well, as I suspected I LOVE the Don Moen CD. It's done completely seamlessly, as if it were a live worship experience, even though the songs are taken off a lot of different live and studio albums. And there are a full 19 tracks - more than my money's worth. I've loaded it all up on my work computer and it's going right now, loud as I dare. Total stress-relief.
I was completely taken by surprise with the other CD. It's not the best mix I've heard....but my son LOVES it! He thinks it's awesome. It seems I have a potential clubber on my hands....! OK, I have to admit their version of "Shout to the Lord" was pretty cool, but it was all much the same and could have done with extra bass and some tweaking here and there.
Perhaps the poor kid's just gotten tired of my taste in live praise & worship music, which is most of my collection. That and having to listen to me and the worship band practice and then lead each week. One day the kid's going to tell his psychiatrist "my mom brought me up in the church - in the front right-hand row, to be exact". I have to admit though that he's showing a new interest in music and worship. We've worked out piano harmonies that he can pick out while I play at home, and they sound pretty impressive.
I asked him a while ago if he'd ever like to lead worship or play in a worship band, and he seems pretty happy to think about it. However, I don't want to project on him what I enjoy. I basically only play worship music - I'm not too good at the reading-music thing, and go by ear, playing what I know - which is a load of worship stuff!
I'd like for him to learn an instrument, but am not going to push it. He's created some cool stuff on the computer - perhaps that's the only instrument he needs. Come to think of it, he likes the club-type stuff on the computer too... Hmmmm....
Music is huge in my little family. God-music specifically. For me it's a way to worship like I can in no other way. I long to be able to write songs to God, but so far no good. All I can do is use other's words and tunes in my worship and praise. For now that's good enough.
Well, as I suspected I LOVE the Don Moen CD. It's done completely seamlessly, as if it were a live worship experience, even though the songs are taken off a lot of different live and studio albums. And there are a full 19 tracks - more than my money's worth. I've loaded it all up on my work computer and it's going right now, loud as I dare. Total stress-relief.
I was completely taken by surprise with the other CD. It's not the best mix I've heard....but my son LOVES it! He thinks it's awesome. It seems I have a potential clubber on my hands....! OK, I have to admit their version of "Shout to the Lord" was pretty cool, but it was all much the same and could have done with extra bass and some tweaking here and there.
Perhaps the poor kid's just gotten tired of my taste in live praise & worship music, which is most of my collection. That and having to listen to me and the worship band practice and then lead each week. One day the kid's going to tell his psychiatrist "my mom brought me up in the church - in the front right-hand row, to be exact". I have to admit though that he's showing a new interest in music and worship. We've worked out piano harmonies that he can pick out while I play at home, and they sound pretty impressive.
I asked him a while ago if he'd ever like to lead worship or play in a worship band, and he seems pretty happy to think about it. However, I don't want to project on him what I enjoy. I basically only play worship music - I'm not too good at the reading-music thing, and go by ear, playing what I know - which is a load of worship stuff!
I'd like for him to learn an instrument, but am not going to push it. He's created some cool stuff on the computer - perhaps that's the only instrument he needs. Come to think of it, he likes the club-type stuff on the computer too... Hmmmm....
Music is huge in my little family. God-music specifically. For me it's a way to worship like I can in no other way. I long to be able to write songs to God, but so far no good. All I can do is use other's words and tunes in my worship and praise. For now that's good enough.
Water, water everywhere....
As I sit in my office, I can see masses of high dark clouds rushing past on their journey from the north, threatening/promising a few thundery rainstorms. The thought of how many tons of water is up there is pretty mind-boggling.
And yet down here we've been without water on campus for 2 days now. And it's been the hottest 2 days of the year. Too hot to sleep at night, no relief from the sticky dirty feeling on your hands and body. The bees have come in swarms to suck scant drops of water from the ground under the garden tap, fighting with doves, pigeons, weavers and a family of shrikes for the last few thirst-quenching diamonds.
It's strange - you never long for something until it's not around. Have no bread in the house? You can bet you're going to be dying for a slice, and not want anything else. Same thing with water. I know I should be doing the 2 litres a day thing, but never get around to it. And yet, now that the taps are dry I really want some. I want barrels full!
They've promised it will be back this afternoon - there was a burst pipe at the source, which is taking a while to fix. But at the same time they need to shut it off to connect up the new styrofoam houses (YES, you read right, STYROFOAM....!) they're building next to my place.
"Sweet water above, rushing through the heavens. If you fall in torrents of rain, I promise to stand outside naked with a block of soap on my head and take a natural shower!"
Pray for the neighbour's eyesight....
::update::
It's raining hard - it's blerry dark too! The cool is most refreshing, but I'm not yet outside with the soap on my head, even though the water's STILL off! (Neighbours give thanks.)
And yet down here we've been without water on campus for 2 days now. And it's been the hottest 2 days of the year. Too hot to sleep at night, no relief from the sticky dirty feeling on your hands and body. The bees have come in swarms to suck scant drops of water from the ground under the garden tap, fighting with doves, pigeons, weavers and a family of shrikes for the last few thirst-quenching diamonds.
It's strange - you never long for something until it's not around. Have no bread in the house? You can bet you're going to be dying for a slice, and not want anything else. Same thing with water. I know I should be doing the 2 litres a day thing, but never get around to it. And yet, now that the taps are dry I really want some. I want barrels full!
They've promised it will be back this afternoon - there was a burst pipe at the source, which is taking a while to fix. But at the same time they need to shut it off to connect up the new styrofoam houses (YES, you read right, STYROFOAM....!) they're building next to my place.
"Sweet water above, rushing through the heavens. If you fall in torrents of rain, I promise to stand outside naked with a block of soap on my head and take a natural shower!"
Pray for the neighbour's eyesight....
::update::
It's raining hard - it's blerry dark too! The cool is most refreshing, but I'm not yet outside with the soap on my head, even though the water's STILL off! (Neighbours give thanks.)
The Jitters
I've got interior jitters today. It's the day I courier off a job application that could change my life forever. I know I'm more than qualified for the position, having spent 6 years doing exactly the same thing where I work now. And it's not everyday that you get someone with this experience! It's a pretty specialized job.
Just thinking about the implications of getting the position have had my mind in a whirl all weekend. If I get it I have to be ready to up and move to Australia very quickly. We're nowhere near ready right now, so I've drawn up a list of stuff we need to get done so we can be ready. Main thing to do - sort my son's gigantic collection of toys, junk and dog-hair under his bed and convince him that only the essentials go. I'm being ruthless on my stuff too. Cutting down to nearly-nothing. Started last night in the lounge and chucked out all sorts of things, but I need to go through it again and cut down on the stuff left still further.
I've been living in limbo for 7 years now, not sure if we'd be moving to Australia or staying here. It's a good cost-cutting way of living. You don't want to spend too much on stuff, just in case. You rethink new curtains and new toys - after all, you might not be able to take it with you.
It kinda makes me think of being ready for Jesus to come. We mosey along each day, not really thinking about being ready or getting ready, until suddenly there's a wake-up call (like Sept 11 when the world seems to be ending) and we realize perhaps we're not as ready as we thought we were. We rush around trying to get our house in order and make sure we're where we should be spiritually. But if things don't happen quickly, we soon fall back into our old ways.
This time I know I'm probably going to be physically ready to move, but I'm still not sure I'm so spiritually ready for Jesus to come. There are old habits and sins that just cling like tree-gum. I know what I need to do - but just never seem to get around to it. While sorting out my house and "life" perhaps I should also be sorting out my interior!
But today I'm just jittery - thinking too much, too many details whirling around my head, and with nerves on end. Change is exciting, but very, very scary.
Just thinking about the implications of getting the position have had my mind in a whirl all weekend. If I get it I have to be ready to up and move to Australia very quickly. We're nowhere near ready right now, so I've drawn up a list of stuff we need to get done so we can be ready. Main thing to do - sort my son's gigantic collection of toys, junk and dog-hair under his bed and convince him that only the essentials go. I'm being ruthless on my stuff too. Cutting down to nearly-nothing. Started last night in the lounge and chucked out all sorts of things, but I need to go through it again and cut down on the stuff left still further.
I've been living in limbo for 7 years now, not sure if we'd be moving to Australia or staying here. It's a good cost-cutting way of living. You don't want to spend too much on stuff, just in case. You rethink new curtains and new toys - after all, you might not be able to take it with you.
It kinda makes me think of being ready for Jesus to come. We mosey along each day, not really thinking about being ready or getting ready, until suddenly there's a wake-up call (like Sept 11 when the world seems to be ending) and we realize perhaps we're not as ready as we thought we were. We rush around trying to get our house in order and make sure we're where we should be spiritually. But if things don't happen quickly, we soon fall back into our old ways.
This time I know I'm probably going to be physically ready to move, but I'm still not sure I'm so spiritually ready for Jesus to come. There are old habits and sins that just cling like tree-gum. I know what I need to do - but just never seem to get around to it. While sorting out my house and "life" perhaps I should also be sorting out my interior!
But today I'm just jittery - thinking too much, too many details whirling around my head, and with nerves on end. Change is exciting, but very, very scary.
Good one!
This gave me the biggest laugh of the new year! Check it out over at Fragments from Floyd. I think I want one.... :)
Who Am I? (LONG - be warned!)
If you've been at my blog for a while, you'll know I have balked at revealing my denominational identity. I know there are a load of pre-conceived ideas out there, mainly resulting from contact with one or two folk who kinda "set the norm" for everyone else. I didn't want to risk being bashed or shunned or BOXED and labelled.
But K3 was right in commenting here a while ago that:
"You might never find the "perfect" denomination. I identify strongly with the doctrine of my church, although there are a couple of sub-points I am not personally "convicted" of from the Scriptures. I mean, I see where they get them from, but in a case or two I also see where something else could be equally said. (Not on matters of salvation, etc.) If you are a thinker at all (which obviously you are then probably no "box" will be a perfect fit, but there are benefits to having a body with whom you can share a lot of faith and on the rest of it, sharpen each other."
It's made me think a lot about my search for spiritual identity and denominational questionings. So much so, that I'm finally going to assign myself a label, put myself in a box, bare my back to potential whippings! Brave, hey.... :)
So here goes.....
(deep breath)
I am a Non-Denominational Seventh-day BapVentist Christian. (Hey Jamie, you thought you know who/what I was - were you right? :) )
Non-denominational, because I still need to be convinced that denominations are the best thing, or even a good thing. I don't like the boundries, the finger-pointings and the back-seat-of-the-Christian-car squabbles that go on between denominations. I'm still working through this one, but in the meantime am trying to build bridges between folk who usually don't mingle, to find common ground where we can meet and work together in harmony and love.
Hence the Seventh-day BapVentist. After throwing out the baby and the bathwater and starting again from scratch, I find my beliefs generally do line up with the Seventh-day Adventist ones I grew up with. There are some I don't agree with and there are a lot that are implimented in a way I don't like at all, but the basics are there, generally speaking. Like my Sabbath rest, which I cling to "religiously" - excuse the pun - but not legalistically, and whose blessing I can't do without.
BapVentist though, because I currently serve and worship in the local Baptist church. I don't agree with all the beliefs there either, but that's where I feel most comfortable worshipping and where I feel most included and welcomed. It's a community I enjoy being with, and one I hung out with over New Year. Great folk!
Have only really found 3 beliefs different from mine there, and they're not essential to salvation! It seems most Christian churches hold similar beliefs with only a few variations on a theme, so I could probably be worshipping anywhere without too big a clash.
I can't comfortably worship at the SDA churches in this area for many reasons, too many to post here - I'm not your normal every-day Adventist and as such am a bit of an outsider. I see things way different, I need more than what's on offer. I've in a way been "kicked out" into the cold because I'm questioning everything. I refuse to conform for tradition's sake, and that bugs a lot of the herd! But I know SDA churches in this area are stuck in a major time-warp. The church my dad pastors in Sydney Australia is WAAAAAYYYYY different! Poor mom nearly had a heart-attack the first time they attended, having been brought up pretty conservatively. And my sis-in-law can't get over the fact they said "crap" in church! :) Maybe I'll fit in better over there - maybe not. Remains to be seen.
Christian, because this is what I want to be most identified with. A Christ-follower, doing my best to step in the footsteps of Him who came to save me. That overshadows all the other little labels I have attached to me, it supercedes them all and puts them all into perspective. This is what I'm aiming for more than any other thing - to follow Christ as honestly as I can, to the best of my ability.
So that's who I am, that's the strange-shaped box I'm in right now. BUT I'm still on my journey. I could become anything!
Comment away....I'll brace myself.
But K3 was right in commenting here a while ago that:
"You might never find the "perfect" denomination. I identify strongly with the doctrine of my church, although there are a couple of sub-points I am not personally "convicted" of from the Scriptures. I mean, I see where they get them from, but in a case or two I also see where something else could be equally said. (Not on matters of salvation, etc.) If you are a thinker at all (which obviously you are then probably no "box" will be a perfect fit, but there are benefits to having a body with whom you can share a lot of faith and on the rest of it, sharpen each other."
It's made me think a lot about my search for spiritual identity and denominational questionings. So much so, that I'm finally going to assign myself a label, put myself in a box, bare my back to potential whippings! Brave, hey.... :)
So here goes.....
(deep breath)
I am a Non-Denominational Seventh-day BapVentist Christian. (Hey Jamie, you thought you know who/what I was - were you right? :) )
Non-denominational, because I still need to be convinced that denominations are the best thing, or even a good thing. I don't like the boundries, the finger-pointings and the back-seat-of-the-Christian-car squabbles that go on between denominations. I'm still working through this one, but in the meantime am trying to build bridges between folk who usually don't mingle, to find common ground where we can meet and work together in harmony and love.
Hence the Seventh-day BapVentist. After throwing out the baby and the bathwater and starting again from scratch, I find my beliefs generally do line up with the Seventh-day Adventist ones I grew up with. There are some I don't agree with and there are a lot that are implimented in a way I don't like at all, but the basics are there, generally speaking. Like my Sabbath rest, which I cling to "religiously" - excuse the pun - but not legalistically, and whose blessing I can't do without.
BapVentist though, because I currently serve and worship in the local Baptist church. I don't agree with all the beliefs there either, but that's where I feel most comfortable worshipping and where I feel most included and welcomed. It's a community I enjoy being with, and one I hung out with over New Year. Great folk!
Have only really found 3 beliefs different from mine there, and they're not essential to salvation! It seems most Christian churches hold similar beliefs with only a few variations on a theme, so I could probably be worshipping anywhere without too big a clash.
I can't comfortably worship at the SDA churches in this area for many reasons, too many to post here - I'm not your normal every-day Adventist and as such am a bit of an outsider. I see things way different, I need more than what's on offer. I've in a way been "kicked out" into the cold because I'm questioning everything. I refuse to conform for tradition's sake, and that bugs a lot of the herd! But I know SDA churches in this area are stuck in a major time-warp. The church my dad pastors in Sydney Australia is WAAAAAYYYYY different! Poor mom nearly had a heart-attack the first time they attended, having been brought up pretty conservatively. And my sis-in-law can't get over the fact they said "crap" in church! :) Maybe I'll fit in better over there - maybe not. Remains to be seen.
Christian, because this is what I want to be most identified with. A Christ-follower, doing my best to step in the footsteps of Him who came to save me. That overshadows all the other little labels I have attached to me, it supercedes them all and puts them all into perspective. This is what I'm aiming for more than any other thing - to follow Christ as honestly as I can, to the best of my ability.
So that's who I am, that's the strange-shaped box I'm in right now. BUT I'm still on my journey. I could become anything!
Comment away....I'll brace myself.
Back to Work!
It's just me and the mega-boss (lord of all he surveys) in today. According to an email somewhere in my long list of unreads, the rest will be back on Monday. So it's peace and quiet - for half a day only (we leave work at 1 on a Friday).
In a way it's good to be back at the desk. I missed my computer and internet access. Then again, there's this tiny spider coming down from the high ceiling in front of my screen as we speak, probably checking in on a web other than his own as I surf? He's just hanging around mid-air. Cool!
What I haven't enjoyed is the first of the new year's clueless students turning up in my office - application form unfilled, parent's details not around, documents missing... She and her mom spent over an hour sitting here completing stuff they should have done before turning up.
(Spider's decided to investigate the desk and is heading for the keyboa....... rd. Sorry, had to avoid him... ;) ).
I have had a good holiday though and could do with a bit more. I never got the house-painting party going - the sis-in-law has yet to contact me, and now it's too late for a full day in the mid-week. However, I did get a lot of doors re-coloured inside and just this week ripped up most of the front garden to replant and add a few stunning roses. Looks good, but is missing patches of lawn until it grows in.
It's a bit of an uncertain start to my working year. I have a new boss this year who is destined to kick me out of my big lovely office, but the other office is not yet ready and I need to be available on phone and internet well into February without still having to organize that. They haven't started renovations to enlarge my new space, which is desperately needed.
I don't know how much of the year I'll be here for. I just found a potential job in Australia on the net that could mean I get over there mid-February! I'm more than qualified and they were pretty keen on me for another job a while back. Now that I have a visa application in, I have a pretty good chance of getting it! Scary - it's a subservient position again and I've kinda liked being my own boss..... We'll see though, I DO need employment once over the big blue sea.
I guess I'm back at work with mixed feelings. It's nice to be back in a routine/rut again, but after 8 years here I really want to move on. The old tug-of-war between being too comfortable to move, and stepping out so life gets better. Right now, I think I'm all for stepping - but it gets my insides a bit wobbly thinking of it.
So, back to work. The pile on my desk is at least something that's sure in this whole year.
In a way it's good to be back at the desk. I missed my computer and internet access. Then again, there's this tiny spider coming down from the high ceiling in front of my screen as we speak, probably checking in on a web other than his own as I surf? He's just hanging around mid-air. Cool!
What I haven't enjoyed is the first of the new year's clueless students turning up in my office - application form unfilled, parent's details not around, documents missing... She and her mom spent over an hour sitting here completing stuff they should have done before turning up.
(Spider's decided to investigate the desk and is heading for the keyboa....... rd. Sorry, had to avoid him... ;) ).
I have had a good holiday though and could do with a bit more. I never got the house-painting party going - the sis-in-law has yet to contact me, and now it's too late for a full day in the mid-week. However, I did get a lot of doors re-coloured inside and just this week ripped up most of the front garden to replant and add a few stunning roses. Looks good, but is missing patches of lawn until it grows in.
It's a bit of an uncertain start to my working year. I have a new boss this year who is destined to kick me out of my big lovely office, but the other office is not yet ready and I need to be available on phone and internet well into February without still having to organize that. They haven't started renovations to enlarge my new space, which is desperately needed.
I don't know how much of the year I'll be here for. I just found a potential job in Australia on the net that could mean I get over there mid-February! I'm more than qualified and they were pretty keen on me for another job a while back. Now that I have a visa application in, I have a pretty good chance of getting it! Scary - it's a subservient position again and I've kinda liked being my own boss..... We'll see though, I DO need employment once over the big blue sea.
I guess I'm back at work with mixed feelings. It's nice to be back in a routine/rut again, but after 8 years here I really want to move on. The old tug-of-war between being too comfortable to move, and stepping out so life gets better. Right now, I think I'm all for stepping - but it gets my insides a bit wobbly thinking of it.
So, back to work. The pile on my desk is at least something that's sure in this whole year.
Looking back, looking forward
Geez, I haven't blogged since last year!!! I know, corny joke, but when else do you get to say stuff like "you haven't bathed since 2003???"or "I think I'll leave the dishes until next year". So gotta take the gap while I can... :)
We brought the New Year in at a 30th birthday party with a crowd of great people - a bit different to sitting on our front verandah and watching far-off fireworks while trying not to exclaim too loudly in case we wake the neighbours. This year the neighbours didn't stand a chance - the music was loud, the people were many, the corks got a good distance at midnight and may be found floating in the neighbour's pool. It was great to be with friends! When we finally got home we saw the tail-end of the beachfront fireworks, which was good enough for us.
And I did managed to get two kisses out of my favourite Spur-waiter earlier in the day - major score! :)
Looking back, I'm very glad that 2003 is over and done with. It was a tough year, especially financially. Most of it was not my fault - the administrators fined me one month's salary thanks to an error I made, there were unexpected emergency costs and we just never got back on our feet. But through it all God did the most wonderful things! I gave up trying to fix our problems myself, leaned on Him and He came through in a BIG way.
2003 was also a year of change, especially spiritual change. I "discovered" emerging church, alt worship and many other mind-blowing concepts. I made a decision to stop fence-sitting - just serve in one church and stop attending the other. I started on a massive journey of discovery, but have so far only reached Signpost #1. I took the plunge to be different even if others give me hell for it.
At the beginning of 2003 the pastor asked us to make a list of 3 things we wanted to do in the year. Spiritual stuff. I wrote down:
1. Show a Christian attitude to my colleagues - spoken and unspoken.
2. Re-discover my enthusiasm for God and His mission in my life.
3. Give all to the ministries He calls me to.
And I'm happy to report that, generally-speaking, I've managed to stick with the programme on those! Of course it helps that the main thorn-in-the-flesh at work left earlier this year, decreasing my negative thoughts and stress by 100%!
I'm actually looking forward to 2004. I know this is going to be a year of big changes. Our visa application for Australian migration is due to be processed this year. We'll know whether we'll be strangers in a strange land or more-of-the-same's pretty soon. The first "other" grandchild arrives this year in our family. The finances are looking up. And I have a PLAN - an important thing to have in my life, as I always seem to need a mission to be on, even if that mission changes constantly. This year's mission is preparation for a move around the world. It involves serious financial planning, chucking out ruthlessly everything that's not essential to our existence, making sure we're ready to go at a month or less's notice.
I'm starting this year on a pretty positive note. I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead - but check back with me in a few weeks once things get hectic here at work... I'm pretty happy and satisfied at the moment, instead of uncertain and searching.
The only thing that has really saddened me is the flood of disasters that has struck world-wide - Iran, California, Iraq, South Africa (our road death toll alone for the year was nearly 10,000! And then there's crime...). I see so much sadness and hard stuff going on around me. It's tough to see how folk are suffering.
But who knows - this could be the earth's last year before we make the Big Trip to be with God forever! Everything going on points to the fact that this planet can't last too much longer. LORD, TAKE US HOME!
Happy 2004 to all!
We brought the New Year in at a 30th birthday party with a crowd of great people - a bit different to sitting on our front verandah and watching far-off fireworks while trying not to exclaim too loudly in case we wake the neighbours. This year the neighbours didn't stand a chance - the music was loud, the people were many, the corks got a good distance at midnight and may be found floating in the neighbour's pool. It was great to be with friends! When we finally got home we saw the tail-end of the beachfront fireworks, which was good enough for us.
And I did managed to get two kisses out of my favourite Spur-waiter earlier in the day - major score! :)
Looking back, I'm very glad that 2003 is over and done with. It was a tough year, especially financially. Most of it was not my fault - the administrators fined me one month's salary thanks to an error I made, there were unexpected emergency costs and we just never got back on our feet. But through it all God did the most wonderful things! I gave up trying to fix our problems myself, leaned on Him and He came through in a BIG way.
2003 was also a year of change, especially spiritual change. I "discovered" emerging church, alt worship and many other mind-blowing concepts. I made a decision to stop fence-sitting - just serve in one church and stop attending the other. I started on a massive journey of discovery, but have so far only reached Signpost #1. I took the plunge to be different even if others give me hell for it.
At the beginning of 2003 the pastor asked us to make a list of 3 things we wanted to do in the year. Spiritual stuff. I wrote down:
1. Show a Christian attitude to my colleagues - spoken and unspoken.
2. Re-discover my enthusiasm for God and His mission in my life.
3. Give all to the ministries He calls me to.
And I'm happy to report that, generally-speaking, I've managed to stick with the programme on those! Of course it helps that the main thorn-in-the-flesh at work left earlier this year, decreasing my negative thoughts and stress by 100%!
I'm actually looking forward to 2004. I know this is going to be a year of big changes. Our visa application for Australian migration is due to be processed this year. We'll know whether we'll be strangers in a strange land or more-of-the-same's pretty soon. The first "other" grandchild arrives this year in our family. The finances are looking up. And I have a PLAN - an important thing to have in my life, as I always seem to need a mission to be on, even if that mission changes constantly. This year's mission is preparation for a move around the world. It involves serious financial planning, chucking out ruthlessly everything that's not essential to our existence, making sure we're ready to go at a month or less's notice.
I'm starting this year on a pretty positive note. I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead - but check back with me in a few weeks once things get hectic here at work... I'm pretty happy and satisfied at the moment, instead of uncertain and searching.
The only thing that has really saddened me is the flood of disasters that has struck world-wide - Iran, California, Iraq, South Africa (our road death toll alone for the year was nearly 10,000! And then there's crime...). I see so much sadness and hard stuff going on around me. It's tough to see how folk are suffering.
But who knows - this could be the earth's last year before we make the Big Trip to be with God forever! Everything going on points to the fact that this planet can't last too much longer. LORD, TAKE US HOME!
Happy 2004 to all!
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