(Sorry Darren, to steal and adjust one of your lines! :) )
I've wanted to get a weekly gathering going for a very long time. The type of small house-church community group that so many others are invovled in. I have no experience in doing this at all, but I'm not sure I necessarily NEED to be "qualified" - correct me if I'm wrong, those of you who are already doing this!
I tried a Bible study group once with 2 friends, but they were both students and it petered out when they left for the holidays. We were also semi-at-sea with what to do and how to study. I think I've learnt a bit since then.
The main thing holding me back is space. I live in a small one-bedroom flat. My son's "room" is a space behind a couch and bookshelf, in the only large enough room to be called lounge. We also have a small kitchen, my room and a bathroom. I can fit a few folk in for a visit now and then, but not more than a few. There is a garden out front, but weather doesn't always allow us to enjoy it.
We have no diningroom - my son actually asked me what one was the other day! Poor deprived child...:) To share a meal would mean dishing up in my tiny kitchen and balancing your plate on your knees.
I find myself thinking that "one day" I'll be able to do it, when I have space to do it and when I feel I can keep it going. We're in the process of moving to Australia, so to begin something now would be useless.
Or would it? Perhaps it would start something good off that would continue when I left. It might just be I'm trying to find excuses not to put myself out there and do something different. I could be hiding behind the "but"s to keep from stepping out of my comfort zone and making a move. I don't know.
I think God's got this kind of gathering planned for me. I don't know when or how. I have a lot of thinking to do, a lot of soul-searching to find my motives for wanting to do this and for why I haven't already.
I think I'll do some deep thinking during my Sabbath hours. I might come up with an answer, or I might not. I may only find deep thoughts to be another step on the journey. But you never know...
What If...
What if there were no denominations. If the whole world believed the same. What if we whole-heartedly put into practice what we believed. What if we all followed God without question. What if we didn't argue doctrine. What if church all over the world was community, small groups gathered in homes, interconnected in widening circles to include your neighbour on the next continent. What if we all lived our lives completely and unwaveringly as God wanted us to. What if we never broke His rules or wanted to. What if we were unconcerned with possessions, money or always having the best or biggest. What if we gave freely, supported those in need, shared equally. What if politicians led the people without hidden agendas, without selfishness, without corruption or sticking it to the next bloke. What if morality took precedence over pleasure. What if we really loved our neighbour as we love ourselves. What would our world look like then?
Friday Five
1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not?
Yes, but not for clothes. I get depressed when what looks like it fits me actually won't. Mostly I just windowshop, get ideas and then go home and try make it myself, without a size label!:) Tend to windowshop for other things too, only buying essentials like food as needed.
2. What was the last thing you purchased?
2 month's worth of groceries.
3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
Actual store. Online is always in USDollars, and with an exchange rate of R7 to $1, it's a bit unreasonable. I do enjoy window-shopping on the net now and then, seeing what's out there just for the heck of it.
4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
Yes, it was a tickie (half a cent), which in the 70s in Zimbabwe bought you a good few sweets and things! It did go up a bit. By high school in South Africa I was getting R20 a month, then R50 in college.
5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
A container of Dutch-style feta cheese that I was really looking forward to having, and which turned out to be very far gone - fizzy in fact! Never got around to returning it to the shop, or replacing it.
Yes, but not for clothes. I get depressed when what looks like it fits me actually won't. Mostly I just windowshop, get ideas and then go home and try make it myself, without a size label!:) Tend to windowshop for other things too, only buying essentials like food as needed.
2. What was the last thing you purchased?
2 month's worth of groceries.
3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
Actual store. Online is always in USDollars, and with an exchange rate of R7 to $1, it's a bit unreasonable. I do enjoy window-shopping on the net now and then, seeing what's out there just for the heck of it.
4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
Yes, it was a tickie (half a cent), which in the 70s in Zimbabwe bought you a good few sweets and things! It did go up a bit. By high school in South Africa I was getting R20 a month, then R50 in college.
5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
A container of Dutch-style feta cheese that I was really looking forward to having, and which turned out to be very far gone - fizzy in fact! Never got around to returning it to the shop, or replacing it.
Rain
It's raining. Hard. The weatherlady said only partly-cloudy skies today, no rain. And yet I heard it creeping up the hill like an approaching train, and now it's here. Drenching people who didn't hear it coming. Making little dots on the window. Obscuring the sea. It's dark outside, like twilight. I can almost feel my garden stretching with pleasure as new life-forces seep down to it's feet. It's a good day to sleep late. I did. My son JUST made it to school as a result. It's a good thing I brought my umbrella.
Didi
Didi is a registered pure-bred gold schipperke, the colour of a golden fox, with foxy ears and a pointy foxy snout. He's totally alpha, and looks down on any male who gets into his path, preferably leaving them licking their wounded gums from a mouth-battle. He's also the most lovingest of dogs when he wants to be.
He's shy - he won't look you directly in the eye, but does a sorta sideways glance. His tail was taken from him when he was a mere puppy, and you need to look in his eyes to see if he's happy or not. Of course a wiggle-butt and "soft" ears at the down position also betray his happiness.
A year ago I nearly lost him to tick-bite fever. Although not a lap-dog, he was sick enough to lie in my arms, breathing with diffculty, as we rushed him to the vet. A blood transfusion, overnight stays and few thousand bucks later he pulled through. He hasn't stopped being grateful since.
He's also grateful that we saved his life 4 years ago. His previous owners had moved overseas, leaving him and his wife Spinney in the care of others, who didn't. He was so neglected that he developed a huge sore on his back, so bad that the vet had to knock him out to work on it. We contacted his previous owners who said "find a home by Monday or put them down." This was Friday. Not that they didn't care, but cared enough not to want them to suffer anymore. We'd already looked after Spinney overnight while Didi was the vet, and couldn't let her sweet gentle soul go, nor his. So they came to live with us - along with the fence that surrounded their yard - on Sunday morning first thing.
It was only recently we learnt he'd had some obedience training and knows "heel", "sit" and "down". He does it as if it's the biggest joke in the world, wriggling all over and playing around with his paws.
Didi turned 6 on Tuesday the 25th of November. Happy (belated) Birthday, your Royal Didi-ness! You're the best alpha dog ever! May you chase bees (crunchy flying honey-flavoured snacks with a bite), Christmas beetles (savoury crunchy flying snacks) and moles for many years to come.
He's shy - he won't look you directly in the eye, but does a sorta sideways glance. His tail was taken from him when he was a mere puppy, and you need to look in his eyes to see if he's happy or not. Of course a wiggle-butt and "soft" ears at the down position also betray his happiness.
A year ago I nearly lost him to tick-bite fever. Although not a lap-dog, he was sick enough to lie in my arms, breathing with diffculty, as we rushed him to the vet. A blood transfusion, overnight stays and few thousand bucks later he pulled through. He hasn't stopped being grateful since.
He's also grateful that we saved his life 4 years ago. His previous owners had moved overseas, leaving him and his wife Spinney in the care of others, who didn't. He was so neglected that he developed a huge sore on his back, so bad that the vet had to knock him out to work on it. We contacted his previous owners who said "find a home by Monday or put them down." This was Friday. Not that they didn't care, but cared enough not to want them to suffer anymore. We'd already looked after Spinney overnight while Didi was the vet, and couldn't let her sweet gentle soul go, nor his. So they came to live with us - along with the fence that surrounded their yard - on Sunday morning first thing.
It was only recently we learnt he'd had some obedience training and knows "heel", "sit" and "down". He does it as if it's the biggest joke in the world, wriggling all over and playing around with his paws.
Didi turned 6 on Tuesday the 25th of November. Happy (belated) Birthday, your Royal Didi-ness! You're the best alpha dog ever! May you chase bees (crunchy flying honey-flavoured snacks with a bite), Christmas beetles (savoury crunchy flying snacks) and moles for many years to come.
Drug-peddlar
This is the busiest week of the year at the college where I work. Graduation takes place on Saturday night, after a good few other ceremonies, dinners and stuff. Everyone's running around like a chicken without a head, and stress levels are through the roof.
And what am I doing? Well, besides trying to work, all I've done is go around offering a cup of real filter coffee to the health-freaks that usually don't touch it and who look like they could use it. So far, 100% success!!!! Hehehe... :)
And what am I doing? Well, besides trying to work, all I've done is go around offering a cup of real filter coffee to the health-freaks that usually don't touch it and who look like they could use it. So far, 100% success!!!! Hehehe... :)
Prophecy or Paranoia?
Last night I again had one of those end-time trouble-is-coming dreams. Only this time it went on for a few hours of half-awake, half-asleep scary stuff. I didn't get much sleep at all and was glad when the dogs urged me up at first light.
On my journeyings through the Bible, I hit the last chapter of Daniel last night. It talks of a time of trouble such as has not happened from the beginning of the world, and then it says "But at that time...everyone whose name is written in the book will be delivered." I have my faith in God and want to be counted among this host. I just don't know why the time of trouble scheduled to happen before this has such an impact on my night-mind.
(For the record, I don't believe in the rapture, and I suspect some of the other things I believe differ from most. When I stepped out of my comfort zone a few years back, I was surprised at how beliefs vary regarding what will happen at the end. Perhaps one day I'll expound on my view - when I'm brave enough to face the comments that will result! :) )
I know of nothing that's triggered this sudden rush of dreams. Unless God's trying to tell me something....
Is this prophecy, a glimpse of what's knocking on the door and even now coming in, or just plain unexplained and unwarranted paranoia?
On my journeyings through the Bible, I hit the last chapter of Daniel last night. It talks of a time of trouble such as has not happened from the beginning of the world, and then it says "But at that time...everyone whose name is written in the book will be delivered." I have my faith in God and want to be counted among this host. I just don't know why the time of trouble scheduled to happen before this has such an impact on my night-mind.
(For the record, I don't believe in the rapture, and I suspect some of the other things I believe differ from most. When I stepped out of my comfort zone a few years back, I was surprised at how beliefs vary regarding what will happen at the end. Perhaps one day I'll expound on my view - when I'm brave enough to face the comments that will result! :) )
I know of nothing that's triggered this sudden rush of dreams. Unless God's trying to tell me something....
Is this prophecy, a glimpse of what's knocking on the door and even now coming in, or just plain unexplained and unwarranted paranoia?
I'm Back!
I see that Rodney has "kindly" reminded me that it's Thursday already in Australia - and that I said I'd be back on Thursday, so here I am! :)
I had a pretty good shop yesterday and got all my son's Christmas prezzies. Also did some investigating on prezzies for the in/out-laws (brothers, their wives and one set of wife parents). And found out that I can save a packet by doing some home-made goodies instead of buying the ready-packaged stuff.
What does my son get? Well, he's got the new "Bionicle Mask of Light" movie, a new big Bionicle (he's collecting and collecting....), one small Bionicle, a Bey-Blade and something else that completely escapes my blonde mind at this moment. Geez...coffee must be wearing off. Will also stock up his stocking with the usual dose of sugar-laden treats etc. The rellies (relatives, for those of you not within the confines of Australia) will probably provide yet more goodies for him. But before they do we'll be doing a sort-and-chuck of his toys to thin them out before they overflow the entire house.
The in/out-laws are getting home-prepared mixes in glass jars of foccaccia, muffins, my addictive brownies and health bread. The only store-bought stuff are a ceramic bowl for one pair, a serving platter for another, and pillar candles and holders for the parents.
We managed to get a load of groceries - and as usual I still didn't know what to make for supper, even with a full cupboard! Just can't believe how much food prices have increased - some have more than doubled in the last year. These days most of my salary goes to just keep us fed and we're not doing to great on affording fruit & veggies.... Fortunately my garden's been producing strawberries, spinach, fresh herbs and carrots. The lettuce, zucchini, tomatoes, onions and maize should be ripe soon. Or we could just eat grass....
So - that was my shopping experience. AND I got to stop off for coffee on my own in peace and quiet on the way round the mall.
Now it's back to the grindstone - have already spent most of the morning running and it promises to continue!
I had a pretty good shop yesterday and got all my son's Christmas prezzies. Also did some investigating on prezzies for the in/out-laws (brothers, their wives and one set of wife parents). And found out that I can save a packet by doing some home-made goodies instead of buying the ready-packaged stuff.
What does my son get? Well, he's got the new "Bionicle Mask of Light" movie, a new big Bionicle (he's collecting and collecting....), one small Bionicle, a Bey-Blade and something else that completely escapes my blonde mind at this moment. Geez...coffee must be wearing off. Will also stock up his stocking with the usual dose of sugar-laden treats etc. The rellies (relatives, for those of you not within the confines of Australia) will probably provide yet more goodies for him. But before they do we'll be doing a sort-and-chuck of his toys to thin them out before they overflow the entire house.
The in/out-laws are getting home-prepared mixes in glass jars of foccaccia, muffins, my addictive brownies and health bread. The only store-bought stuff are a ceramic bowl for one pair, a serving platter for another, and pillar candles and holders for the parents.
We managed to get a load of groceries - and as usual I still didn't know what to make for supper, even with a full cupboard! Just can't believe how much food prices have increased - some have more than doubled in the last year. These days most of my salary goes to just keep us fed and we're not doing to great on affording fruit & veggies.... Fortunately my garden's been producing strawberries, spinach, fresh herbs and carrots. The lettuce, zucchini, tomatoes, onions and maize should be ripe soon. Or we could just eat grass....
So - that was my shopping experience. AND I got to stop off for coffee on my own in peace and quiet on the way round the mall.
Now it's back to the grindstone - have already spent most of the morning running and it promises to continue!
Away
I'm going to be away for a day and a bit. I'm taking a day off to try get all my Christmas shopping done before the northerners come down to the coast for their holiday and block up the shops (we call it a Rock-slide, but you'd have to be South African to understand that one). Also going to do a double-month grocery shop so we survive until the end of January.
So leave a note if you wish, tell me what's on your heart or ask an arb question - it's open mike time until Thursday! See you then.
So leave a note if you wish, tell me what's on your heart or ask an arb question - it's open mike time until Thursday! See you then.
End-time Dreams
I've been having a recurring dream lately that leaves me a little scared...but let me start at the beginning.
I grew up with stories like Project Sonlight and tapes that were pretty scary, portraying the End Times of this world, having to run from authorities and being hunted down - perhaps you know the one I'm talking about, it was pretty popular in the late 70s. Part of my beliefs also included persecution for your faith in the End Times, a "time of trouble such as never seen before".
I've always been a little terrified of that Time of Trouble, scared that I won't make it through the testing and trying, that my faith isn't strong enough, and especially of my son having to suffer, or me having to see him suffer. I often wish I could just fast-forward past it to the Heaven-bits.
The campus I live on slopes up to the base of a mountain, and I'm right at the top, looking over the entire property. I can see the college gate and entrance-way from my front door. We're a nice little collection of Christians, conveniently all in once place with only one exit.
The dream I've been having is this: I am at the top of the hill, at my place, and see a large number of police cars and vans approaching the gate, lights on, sirens screaming. I just know they're here to get us. I can see them fanning out to cover the church in the lower campus, where everyone else is gathered (I seem to be bunking church yet again...), approaching the dormitories and cutting off all escape. I know there's a way out through the field behind my house, but it's not a way I can take my car. There are fences in the way, and only one road beyond that leads over the hill into wineland farms. So I start running, grabbing my son on the way and wondering what will happen to my three dogs - will they have enough food and water? How long will they have to survive without me until the end of the world? Months, weeks, days, or years? Where can I go - up the mountain?
You know how it is in these dreams. You run, but your feet seem stuck to the ground and no matter how much effort you put in you never seem to move faster than a sleepy snail.
I often wake up in a sweat from this dream, scared to open my eyes. I hear police sirens in the distance and think "they're coming for me".
I know I should have assurance that God will have His hand of protection over me and mine. I've tried to find peace between the chaos of end-time predictions. And yet I still get a cold clammy stab of fear every now and then and wonder "what if..."
(Apparently I'm not the only one having strange dreams or thinking about a potential loss of freedom.)
::update::
Discussion between 2 folk just outside my office a few minutes ago:
"You know, the signs are all around us that the Time has come and the world is going to end soon."
"Yes, I can see prophecy being fulfilled!"
"I'm so glad God has promised to take care of us through what the future holds."
"Yeah, me too. Amazing what promises He gives."
Wow....how relevant is that!:)
I grew up with stories like Project Sonlight and tapes that were pretty scary, portraying the End Times of this world, having to run from authorities and being hunted down - perhaps you know the one I'm talking about, it was pretty popular in the late 70s. Part of my beliefs also included persecution for your faith in the End Times, a "time of trouble such as never seen before".
I've always been a little terrified of that Time of Trouble, scared that I won't make it through the testing and trying, that my faith isn't strong enough, and especially of my son having to suffer, or me having to see him suffer. I often wish I could just fast-forward past it to the Heaven-bits.
The campus I live on slopes up to the base of a mountain, and I'm right at the top, looking over the entire property. I can see the college gate and entrance-way from my front door. We're a nice little collection of Christians, conveniently all in once place with only one exit.
The dream I've been having is this: I am at the top of the hill, at my place, and see a large number of police cars and vans approaching the gate, lights on, sirens screaming. I just know they're here to get us. I can see them fanning out to cover the church in the lower campus, where everyone else is gathered (I seem to be bunking church yet again...), approaching the dormitories and cutting off all escape. I know there's a way out through the field behind my house, but it's not a way I can take my car. There are fences in the way, and only one road beyond that leads over the hill into wineland farms. So I start running, grabbing my son on the way and wondering what will happen to my three dogs - will they have enough food and water? How long will they have to survive without me until the end of the world? Months, weeks, days, or years? Where can I go - up the mountain?
You know how it is in these dreams. You run, but your feet seem stuck to the ground and no matter how much effort you put in you never seem to move faster than a sleepy snail.
I often wake up in a sweat from this dream, scared to open my eyes. I hear police sirens in the distance and think "they're coming for me".
I know I should have assurance that God will have His hand of protection over me and mine. I've tried to find peace between the chaos of end-time predictions. And yet I still get a cold clammy stab of fear every now and then and wonder "what if..."
(Apparently I'm not the only one having strange dreams or thinking about a potential loss of freedom.)
::update::
Discussion between 2 folk just outside my office a few minutes ago:
"You know, the signs are all around us that the Time has come and the world is going to end soon."
"Yes, I can see prophecy being fulfilled!"
"I'm so glad God has promised to take care of us through what the future holds."
"Yeah, me too. Amazing what promises He gives."
Wow....how relevant is that!:)
Addicted? No, not me...
I ran out of filter coffee on Saturday. I thought I'd make it to Tuesday (payday) with the vile instant granule stuff we drink in hot milk as a dinner postscript. After all, I can stop drinking real coffee any time I want to, right? Right....
Wrong.
I've been half-asleep all day and one of those steady caffiene-free headaches is coming on. My co-workers look good enough to eat, if I can kill them first, and the day is draaagggginnnnggg by. It will be great if I make it to the 7pm news this evening, even better if I do so without kicking a dog.
My mom always moans at me about my coffee habit. But hey, I have very few pleasures OR vices in my life.... So DON'T TAKE MY COFFEE AWAY! Grrrrrrrr....
I think I'll survive until lunch at our payday restuarant (the Spur) tomorrow, where I'll have to down one of their awful cups of witch-brew. And right after that it's off to the nearest shop for a bag of the best!
I can hear the stomach-rumblings of the coffee machine already, smell the aroma of fresh-brewed drifting through the house, anticipate that first sip of piping-hot brown heaven. Bring it on!
Addicted? Nah....
Wrong.
I've been half-asleep all day and one of those steady caffiene-free headaches is coming on. My co-workers look good enough to eat, if I can kill them first, and the day is draaagggginnnnggg by. It will be great if I make it to the 7pm news this evening, even better if I do so without kicking a dog.
My mom always moans at me about my coffee habit. But hey, I have very few pleasures OR vices in my life.... So DON'T TAKE MY COFFEE AWAY! Grrrrrrrr....
I think I'll survive until lunch at our payday restuarant (the Spur) tomorrow, where I'll have to down one of their awful cups of witch-brew. And right after that it's off to the nearest shop for a bag of the best!
I can hear the stomach-rumblings of the coffee machine already, smell the aroma of fresh-brewed drifting through the house, anticipate that first sip of piping-hot brown heaven. Bring it on!
Addicted? Nah....
Birthday planning
I'm working on plans for my upcoming 5th birthday party (yeah, I'm advanced for my age...:) ). I figured 3+2=5, and as I'll be 32 shortly, a 5th birthday party it is!
I'm planning on including all the fun things that make a 5th party - cake, balloons, ice-cream and games. Of course the cake will come in varieties such as Double-Chocolate Orange Torte, Lemon Tea Cakes, Pavolva, Fruit Tarts, and many other lovelies - all homemade. Balloons stay balloons. Ice-cream involves fudge-ripple, cookie-dough and blueberry cheesecake, among others. Games, I'm still planning - any suggestions? Pin the wrinkle on the oldie, cellulite toss or blind-man-so-give-me-my-specs-please perhaps?
To balance it all out there will be fresh fruit and veg platters with dips, home-baked foccacia and breadsticks and some decidedly adult cheeses (who really liked stinky-foot cheese at age 5?).
I'm working on the invitations this week and I'm sure it's going to be an absolute blast! As it's planned for a public holiday, we've got the whole day to lie on brightly-coloured cushions under a white satin canopy and indulge.
OH YEAH!
I'm planning on including all the fun things that make a 5th party - cake, balloons, ice-cream and games. Of course the cake will come in varieties such as Double-Chocolate Orange Torte, Lemon Tea Cakes, Pavolva, Fruit Tarts, and many other lovelies - all homemade. Balloons stay balloons. Ice-cream involves fudge-ripple, cookie-dough and blueberry cheesecake, among others. Games, I'm still planning - any suggestions? Pin the wrinkle on the oldie, cellulite toss or blind-man-so-give-me-my-specs-please perhaps?
To balance it all out there will be fresh fruit and veg platters with dips, home-baked foccacia and breadsticks and some decidedly adult cheeses (who really liked stinky-foot cheese at age 5?).
I'm working on the invitations this week and I'm sure it's going to be an absolute blast! As it's planned for a public holiday, we've got the whole day to lie on brightly-coloured cushions under a white satin canopy and indulge.
OH YEAH!
Cutting Edge Online!
The latest Cutting Edge is finally online. with info on Church Planting with a Vision for Children. It's well worth a read if you're involved in church planting, emerging church, or any other venture such as these.
Debugging the Soul
A week or so ago I posted my frustrations about IExplorer's "do you want to debug" message that kept interrupting my internet experience.
This morning at staff worship one of the ladies prayed about the fact that we have "errors" and that got me thinking....(instead of listening to the rest of the prayer I'm afraid).
Imagine if you had a "runtime error, do you want to debug?" pop up every now and then when you strayed from the way you had committed to go with God. Perhaps like me you might try to debug your problem yourself - not knowing what the heck you're doing and making more of a mess than was there already, causing even more "do you want to debug"s to arise in an endless round of frustration and error.
Or, you could just switch off the option to try debug yourself and leave it in the hands of the Guy who designed your operating system. He knows what He's doing after all! You could then carry on walking the way you were called to go, and let Him deal with whatever pops-up.
I think I like that idea.
Lord - be in charge of my error messages today. I know I'll fall, I know I'll fail. Please take my errors and spiritual bugs and work on them with me and for me. Let me not be so distracted by my errors that I lose sight of where we're headed together, or lose the joy of the journey. Thank you Lord!
This morning at staff worship one of the ladies prayed about the fact that we have "errors" and that got me thinking....(instead of listening to the rest of the prayer I'm afraid).
Imagine if you had a "runtime error, do you want to debug?" pop up every now and then when you strayed from the way you had committed to go with God. Perhaps like me you might try to debug your problem yourself - not knowing what the heck you're doing and making more of a mess than was there already, causing even more "do you want to debug"s to arise in an endless round of frustration and error.
Or, you could just switch off the option to try debug yourself and leave it in the hands of the Guy who designed your operating system. He knows what He's doing after all! You could then carry on walking the way you were called to go, and let Him deal with whatever pops-up.
I think I like that idea.
Lord - be in charge of my error messages today. I know I'll fall, I know I'll fail. Please take my errors and spiritual bugs and work on them with me and for me. Let me not be so distracted by my errors that I lose sight of where we're headed together, or lose the joy of the journey. Thank you Lord!
God the Father
My son has never met his dad - I last saw the guy when I was 3 months pregnant. It's unlikely he ever will.
I've been struggling with thoughts of how my son will see God as a Father, when he has no earthly father to relate to. How can I show him what a father is really meant to be, when he hasn't experienced it for himself?
I would love for him to have a Dad to do stuff with that only boys and their fathers can. I can't do it as a mom. I know he's missing out on many things. His uncles have been there for him, but live far enough away to make contact occasional.
We've looking forward to being with my parents in Australia - my dad is a wonderful man who will be a great role model for my son, but he's not HIS father.
I have no solutions to this question. I don't know if male mentors can "take the place" of a father in a child's life. I don't know if he'll ever have a dad (if I will marry someday), and if he does, if it will be too late.
I think perhaps only God will be able to answer this one, in a way He has planned and that I have yet to see.
I've been struggling with thoughts of how my son will see God as a Father, when he has no earthly father to relate to. How can I show him what a father is really meant to be, when he hasn't experienced it for himself?
I would love for him to have a Dad to do stuff with that only boys and their fathers can. I can't do it as a mom. I know he's missing out on many things. His uncles have been there for him, but live far enough away to make contact occasional.
We've looking forward to being with my parents in Australia - my dad is a wonderful man who will be a great role model for my son, but he's not HIS father.
I have no solutions to this question. I don't know if male mentors can "take the place" of a father in a child's life. I don't know if he'll ever have a dad (if I will marry someday), and if he does, if it will be too late.
I think perhaps only God will be able to answer this one, in a way He has planned and that I have yet to see.
Self-pity
I managed to mangle my finger in the garden gate last night - one of those lovely metal ones with a draw-back thingy that catches unsuspecting bits of skin without warning. It's a good thing I'm not on piano duty this weekend! My finger is now the colour of my nail-polish - a lovely dark purple-red. At least it matches.
Yeah I know, you didn't need to know this, but hey, what else are blogs for!:)
Yeah I know, you didn't need to know this, but hey, what else are blogs for!:)
Friday Five
Herewith this week's Friday Five!
1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
a) Sort out my house - get rid of stuff that's been lying around for ages waiting for attention.
b) Get a nice tan - hey, it's summer here and I have holiday coming up, so there's a good chance I'll get that one done.
c) Get my will written up properly so if something happens to me my son will be well cared for and not become a ward of the state...
d) Create the garden I've wanted to for ages - whether we'll be moving to Australia soon or not. And get it done in time for my birthday party....
e) Sit down and plan for next year - how to serve, what to give, what our family vision should be and how to put it into practice.
2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
Gary in Perth, Terry from Zimbabwe, Miko and Tania from the USA, Nerida in the USA
3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
Kite-surf, programme a computer, sky-dive, create art-works with pastels, build a house from scratch.
4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
a) Retire (but I plan to do this anyway by age 40, whether I win the lotto or not - got it all planned out!)
b) Buy my farm and start building!
c) Travel all over the world
d) Adopt a child who needs love - or even a few of them
e) Build a church in a low-income housing area and outfit it with everything they'd need
5. List five things you do that help you relax.
a) Nightly long bath with a Reader's Digest Condensed Book (have a massive collection of them)
b) Garden, dig in the soil, or just sit and watch things grow
c) Breathe deeply
d) Look around me for something of beauty to ponder
e) Good cup of coffee or a decent dark chocolate
1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
a) Sort out my house - get rid of stuff that's been lying around for ages waiting for attention.
b) Get a nice tan - hey, it's summer here and I have holiday coming up, so there's a good chance I'll get that one done.
c) Get my will written up properly so if something happens to me my son will be well cared for and not become a ward of the state...
d) Create the garden I've wanted to for ages - whether we'll be moving to Australia soon or not. And get it done in time for my birthday party....
e) Sit down and plan for next year - how to serve, what to give, what our family vision should be and how to put it into practice.
2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
Gary in Perth, Terry from Zimbabwe, Miko and Tania from the USA, Nerida in the USA
3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
Kite-surf, programme a computer, sky-dive, create art-works with pastels, build a house from scratch.
4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
a) Retire (but I plan to do this anyway by age 40, whether I win the lotto or not - got it all planned out!)
b) Buy my farm and start building!
c) Travel all over the world
d) Adopt a child who needs love - or even a few of them
e) Build a church in a low-income housing area and outfit it with everything they'd need
5. List five things you do that help you relax.
a) Nightly long bath with a Reader's Digest Condensed Book (have a massive collection of them)
b) Garden, dig in the soil, or just sit and watch things grow
c) Breathe deeply
d) Look around me for something of beauty to ponder
e) Good cup of coffee or a decent dark chocolate
Time Capsule
I'm thinking of creating a page on my website to hold my stories and memories, a place to record experiences I've had.
When my gran died, I couldn't help thinking of all the stories that died with her, things I'll never know now. Her short-term memory went in the last few years, but she would still remember walking to school on a dusty road with her sister Laura, the 2 cheetahs they had as pets, living with us in Rhodesia, then in Zimbabwe after her husband died. But she had to keep asking who I was.
My mother has taped bed-time stories about her pet galah (parrot) for my son, and is working on one with my dad that will immortalize their thoughts, feelings, experiences - and the cat.... In a way that's a time capsule of where they're at now and what they've done. Themselves recorded.
I can't help thinking that life is uncertain. This day could be my last, or I could live to be a hundred. I don't want my stories to go unknown. I want to be able to set them down for others to hear. I've shared a few of them with my son, but not enough.
Perhaps no-one will want to read them. Or they might. But I'm going to start working on recording all those images, sounds, smells and experiences in the meager words I possess, and then throw them into cyberspace before they're lost forever.
When my gran died, I couldn't help thinking of all the stories that died with her, things I'll never know now. Her short-term memory went in the last few years, but she would still remember walking to school on a dusty road with her sister Laura, the 2 cheetahs they had as pets, living with us in Rhodesia, then in Zimbabwe after her husband died. But she had to keep asking who I was.
My mother has taped bed-time stories about her pet galah (parrot) for my son, and is working on one with my dad that will immortalize their thoughts, feelings, experiences - and the cat.... In a way that's a time capsule of where they're at now and what they've done. Themselves recorded.
I can't help thinking that life is uncertain. This day could be my last, or I could live to be a hundred. I don't want my stories to go unknown. I want to be able to set them down for others to hear. I've shared a few of them with my son, but not enough.
Perhaps no-one will want to read them. Or they might. But I'm going to start working on recording all those images, sounds, smells and experiences in the meager words I possess, and then throw them into cyberspace before they're lost forever.
Surfing
Last week while sitting at the beach surfer-ing (ogling surfers while my son bodyboarded) it occured to me that I should find myself a deserted beach, a very warm sea and an old surfboard and give it a try.
It would have to be a VERY deserted beach and VERY warm sea though. I don't think I would like it if folk watched me fall off my board all the time, cellulite flapping in the breeze and cozzie riding up the wrong places. I would much prefer going to learn somewhere first, then coming in half-decent to join other folk on the waves, cut in on boaties and steal waves from pimple-faced youngsters.
We'll see...it would be cool though if my son had a surfer mom and we could both take off for dawn, dusk and middle-of-the-working-week surfs. We might even get to chuck out the TV!
Hold on - belated thought... there's always loads of wind here in summer. I'm thinking kite-surfing...Hmmmmm.....
It would have to be a VERY deserted beach and VERY warm sea though. I don't think I would like it if folk watched me fall off my board all the time, cellulite flapping in the breeze and cozzie riding up the wrong places. I would much prefer going to learn somewhere first, then coming in half-decent to join other folk on the waves, cut in on boaties and steal waves from pimple-faced youngsters.
We'll see...it would be cool though if my son had a surfer mom and we could both take off for dawn, dusk and middle-of-the-working-week surfs. We might even get to chuck out the TV!
Hold on - belated thought... there's always loads of wind here in summer. I'm thinking kite-surfing...Hmmmmm.....
Just Wait
I'm the impatient sort. I'm an A-type personality - goal-orientated, more interested in "getting there" and setting a record doing so than interested in the journey, though I do enjoy the scenery now and then.
I'm the same when it comes to my spiritual journey. I want to know where I'm headed, what will happen on the way and when I'll get there. But unfortunately that kind of thing is rarely in God's plan!
I find myself like a kid on one of those kid-leash things, or a dog out on a walk perhaps. Rushing in one direction after something that takes your fancy, but then brought up short, so you try another direction, and get brought up short yet again. All the time you're gradually going the direction your Director is taking you.
I've had my mind blown and learnt so many things in the past year, and find myself wanting to try them all. I start off in the alt.worship direction, and God pulls me up short. I think about house-church, and again God puts the brakes on. I want to lead worship, but God says not yet. I've tried rushing here and there - and each time there's a tug on the leash to bring me back to what seems the exact same place. Yet subtley we're (God and me) heading toward where He's aiming us.
In spite of the millions of options, ideas and dreams pulling me here and there, I get the feeling God just wants me to wait. Just wait and let Him lead. Just wait and learn and listen. Just wait and let Him bring me to where He wants me.
I'm convinced He has lots of stuff He wants me to do. I can't wait to get at it. I'm champing at the bit! And yet He's holding me back. Keeping me where I'm at so I can learn and grow. Just making me wait to fulfil His purpose in my life.
It's hard, but I think I'm learning to wait.
I'm the same when it comes to my spiritual journey. I want to know where I'm headed, what will happen on the way and when I'll get there. But unfortunately that kind of thing is rarely in God's plan!
I find myself like a kid on one of those kid-leash things, or a dog out on a walk perhaps. Rushing in one direction after something that takes your fancy, but then brought up short, so you try another direction, and get brought up short yet again. All the time you're gradually going the direction your Director is taking you.
I've had my mind blown and learnt so many things in the past year, and find myself wanting to try them all. I start off in the alt.worship direction, and God pulls me up short. I think about house-church, and again God puts the brakes on. I want to lead worship, but God says not yet. I've tried rushing here and there - and each time there's a tug on the leash to bring me back to what seems the exact same place. Yet subtley we're (God and me) heading toward where He's aiming us.
In spite of the millions of options, ideas and dreams pulling me here and there, I get the feeling God just wants me to wait. Just wait and let Him lead. Just wait and learn and listen. Just wait and let Him bring me to where He wants me.
I'm convinced He has lots of stuff He wants me to do. I can't wait to get at it. I'm champing at the bit! And yet He's holding me back. Keeping me where I'm at so I can learn and grow. Just making me wait to fulfil His purpose in my life.
It's hard, but I think I'm learning to wait.
Where will it all end?
From the Zimbabwe News:
Zimbabwe's annual rate of inflation, the highest in the world, soared to new levels, reaching 526 percent in October, according to figures issued on Tuesday by the state Central Statistical Office (CSO). Compared with prices a year ago, the cost of living went up 525,8 percent, against September's annual rate of 456 percent. Calculated on a monthly comparison of prices, inflation in the month to the end of October was 25,3 percent, the highest ever in a single month. The CSO said that the biggest contributors towards the sharp rise were increases of 1 179 percent for telephone charges, 983 percent for vehicle running costs, 952 percent for school textbooks and 913 percent for shoes.
And even if you can afford to buy what you need:
More than 100 leading trade unionists and civic leaders in Zimbabwe were arrested yesterday when riot police broke up groups countrywide who were peacefully demonstrating against Robert Mugabe's increasingly autocratic rule .... The "peaceful demonstration" was broken up by police with batons and dogs, she said. "They were forcing us to run by beating us so they could set the dogs on us," she asserted via cellphone from Bulawayo. "Many of us are badly wounded by baton sticks," she added.... "These arrests are proof of the charges by Zimbabwean civil society and others in the Commonwealth that there is no rule of law in Zimbabwe," said Tawanda Hondora, a lawyer, who was working to get the arrested unionists released yesterday. "There are gross human rights violations here. We are under a state of siege."
I lived in Zimbabwe for 12 years. I know the country, I know the people. And my heart bleeds for them. There is so little one can do - cash transfers are siezed, food parcels confiscated en route. I feel so helpless, there's nothing I can do for even one person.
My godparents are in Harare - I worry every day that they're not going to make it through this period of the country's history. They made it through the war, they saw friends killed, they saw friends leave. They're serving the church as missionaries, but I don't know how they're surviving.
Something has to happen, and soon. 11 million starving people depend on it.
Zimbabwe's annual rate of inflation, the highest in the world, soared to new levels, reaching 526 percent in October, according to figures issued on Tuesday by the state Central Statistical Office (CSO). Compared with prices a year ago, the cost of living went up 525,8 percent, against September's annual rate of 456 percent. Calculated on a monthly comparison of prices, inflation in the month to the end of October was 25,3 percent, the highest ever in a single month. The CSO said that the biggest contributors towards the sharp rise were increases of 1 179 percent for telephone charges, 983 percent for vehicle running costs, 952 percent for school textbooks and 913 percent for shoes.
And even if you can afford to buy what you need:
More than 100 leading trade unionists and civic leaders in Zimbabwe were arrested yesterday when riot police broke up groups countrywide who were peacefully demonstrating against Robert Mugabe's increasingly autocratic rule .... The "peaceful demonstration" was broken up by police with batons and dogs, she said. "They were forcing us to run by beating us so they could set the dogs on us," she asserted via cellphone from Bulawayo. "Many of us are badly wounded by baton sticks," she added.... "These arrests are proof of the charges by Zimbabwean civil society and others in the Commonwealth that there is no rule of law in Zimbabwe," said Tawanda Hondora, a lawyer, who was working to get the arrested unionists released yesterday. "There are gross human rights violations here. We are under a state of siege."
I lived in Zimbabwe for 12 years. I know the country, I know the people. And my heart bleeds for them. There is so little one can do - cash transfers are siezed, food parcels confiscated en route. I feel so helpless, there's nothing I can do for even one person.
My godparents are in Harare - I worry every day that they're not going to make it through this period of the country's history. They made it through the war, they saw friends killed, they saw friends leave. They're serving the church as missionaries, but I don't know how they're surviving.
Something has to happen, and soon. 11 million starving people depend on it.
Christmas Wish List
I've been making up my Christmas wish-list. I can afford to be materialistic, as it's unlikely I'll have Santa drop any of these off:
Laptop, top-of-the-range, with wireless internet connection and all the bells and whistles. (Will settle for second-hand laptop that works and a really long phone extension).
DVD player, surround-sound system, massive flat-screen TV and endless supply of free DVDs. (Will settle for little-known-Japanese-model DVD player that works with my 1980s 51cm TV, and one good DVD).
Digital camera - insane quality, unlimited disk space etc. (Will settle for being able to afford to develop 4 rolls of film taken with my ancient Minolta that weighs a ton).
Honda Civic or similar small fast car with good fuel efficiency that can take me from Cape Town to Johannesburg without even thinking of problems. Or one of those funny-looking electric cars that supposedly take you there and back for R400, but cost R300,000 to start with. (Will settle for cash for a major service on my 1984 gold Ford Sierra 2.0 litre ship, fixing up the bits that need fixing, and enough cash to pay for petrol-stops there and back).
Sugar-daddy to pay for the above, and then disappear without asking me for all sorts of strange things in return. (Will settle for a small portion of the lotto winnings).
See - I don't need much!:)
Laptop, top-of-the-range, with wireless internet connection and all the bells and whistles. (Will settle for second-hand laptop that works and a really long phone extension).
DVD player, surround-sound system, massive flat-screen TV and endless supply of free DVDs. (Will settle for little-known-Japanese-model DVD player that works with my 1980s 51cm TV, and one good DVD).
Digital camera - insane quality, unlimited disk space etc. (Will settle for being able to afford to develop 4 rolls of film taken with my ancient Minolta that weighs a ton).
Honda Civic or similar small fast car with good fuel efficiency that can take me from Cape Town to Johannesburg without even thinking of problems. Or one of those funny-looking electric cars that supposedly take you there and back for R400, but cost R300,000 to start with. (Will settle for cash for a major service on my 1984 gold Ford Sierra 2.0 litre ship, fixing up the bits that need fixing, and enough cash to pay for petrol-stops there and back).
Sugar-daddy to pay for the above, and then disappear without asking me for all sorts of strange things in return. (Will settle for a small portion of the lotto winnings).
See - I don't need much!:)
Art-Attack
I've got this sudden urge to paint something today - and I'm not talking walls and cupboards here.
I used to be the "arty-farty" type in high school, but somehow life caught up with me and it's been years since I took up pencils, paintbrushes, chalks and pastels. Come to think of it, I used to write poetry and short stories too..and that's also fallen by the wayside.
I have no idea what I want to paint, but I just have this urge to do so. I've got an image of sweeping strokes of colour - but have yet to step back and see what they form.
I'm only here at work briefly to finish off some urgent stuff before going home to climb into bed (still sick-ish). Perhaps bed-rest and a few paintbrushes will do me the world of good.
I used to be the "arty-farty" type in high school, but somehow life caught up with me and it's been years since I took up pencils, paintbrushes, chalks and pastels. Come to think of it, I used to write poetry and short stories too..and that's also fallen by the wayside.
I have no idea what I want to paint, but I just have this urge to do so. I've got an image of sweeping strokes of colour - but have yet to step back and see what they form.
I'm only here at work briefly to finish off some urgent stuff before going home to climb into bed (still sick-ish). Perhaps bed-rest and a few paintbrushes will do me the world of good.
Sunday 5
As a woman driver I thought I'd better answer these...:
1. The first car I ever drove was a...
Well, first attempt at driving was an ancient VW minibus. BUT the first car I owned and drove, my first love, was an old blue Mini with a sunroof and loads of rust. In winter water would collect in the fabric sunroof and stream down your neck when you turned left, mushrooms grew under the driver's seat. The boot/trunk was rusted through to the point of the spare balancing on a strut. To find out if we had petrol/gas in the tank we'd take a length of rubber hose and turn it around in the tank - if it "sploshed" we were OK, if it "clunked" we'd fill up. Kept losing the gears - the stick would come off in your hand in 4th and you'd have to make it home like that. I LOVED that car!:)
2. My dream car is...
Hmmm..one that goes? And stops when you want it to? I like the look of the Honda Prelude of a few years ago, with it's triangular back lights. But I don't have one particular favourite. Perhaps anything I look good in will do!:)
3. Can you drive a vehicle with a stick shift? If yes, how long did it take you to learn?
Yes, it's all I'll drive. I really don't like automatics - stick-shift comes naturally to me, took a few weeks to learn I think.
4. What is the fastest you have ever driven?
Ooohhhh....about 220km/hr...at 3 in the morning, on a winding highway, with the car's lights off....racing a friend! Geez. The things we do when we're young and stupid!
5. How many people you have crammed into a vehicle at one time?
We once got 8 people and their surf/body-boards into the Mini and went to the beach! The body-boards just about fitted in the boot/trunk, and the surfboards stuck out the sunroof. Boy, did it ride low....:)
1. The first car I ever drove was a...
Well, first attempt at driving was an ancient VW minibus. BUT the first car I owned and drove, my first love, was an old blue Mini with a sunroof and loads of rust. In winter water would collect in the fabric sunroof and stream down your neck when you turned left, mushrooms grew under the driver's seat. The boot/trunk was rusted through to the point of the spare balancing on a strut. To find out if we had petrol/gas in the tank we'd take a length of rubber hose and turn it around in the tank - if it "sploshed" we were OK, if it "clunked" we'd fill up. Kept losing the gears - the stick would come off in your hand in 4th and you'd have to make it home like that. I LOVED that car!:)
2. My dream car is...
Hmmm..one that goes? And stops when you want it to? I like the look of the Honda Prelude of a few years ago, with it's triangular back lights. But I don't have one particular favourite. Perhaps anything I look good in will do!:)
3. Can you drive a vehicle with a stick shift? If yes, how long did it take you to learn?
Yes, it's all I'll drive. I really don't like automatics - stick-shift comes naturally to me, took a few weeks to learn I think.
4. What is the fastest you have ever driven?
Ooohhhh....about 220km/hr...at 3 in the morning, on a winding highway, with the car's lights off....racing a friend! Geez. The things we do when we're young and stupid!
5. How many people you have crammed into a vehicle at one time?
We once got 8 people and their surf/body-boards into the Mini and went to the beach! The body-boards just about fitted in the boot/trunk, and the surfboards stuck out the sunroof. Boy, did it ride low....:)
Getting back to basics
Last week I tried to take 2 steps to being church. I've decided I need to practice those a bit before I try any more.
The "love people like they're God's child" thing is hard. I find I harbour grudges, hold on to prejudice, need to get past the images of people I've created.
Along with that comes the "one good thing" I want to do well for God. I can't do that until I love people unconditionally. If I judge them before I try to serve them, well, what use is that?
I need practice at loving. I need to get over those ugly things that keep me from seeing the beauty within each person. I need to get back to basics. Only then will I be able to serve.
The "love people like they're God's child" thing is hard. I find I harbour grudges, hold on to prejudice, need to get past the images of people I've created.
Along with that comes the "one good thing" I want to do well for God. I can't do that until I love people unconditionally. If I judge them before I try to serve them, well, what use is that?
I need practice at loving. I need to get over those ugly things that keep me from seeing the beauty within each person. I need to get back to basics. Only then will I be able to serve.
Weekend blessings
It's been another of those WOW-weekends. So many blessings - so little blog-space. Let me highlight just two:
On Sabbath my son and I spent an entire hour studying the Bible and learning about God. He "let God turn the pages" of his Bible - the wind was blowing - and we stopped and studied wherever the wind blew us to. He'd tell God to slow down if we hadn't finished reading and the wind wanted to turn the next page...:) At the end of the Sabbath day he told me it had been a very good day, and that he'd really enjoyed doing God-stuff. WOW!
Sunday night we had our "famous musician" at church - Andre de Villiers, who has just spent 6 weeks touring churches in Australia / New Zealand, and is well-known in South Africa. It was a wonderful service, very relaxed. He may be famous, but he's very down-to-earth. Worship was awesome too. We came away with a signed CD of his latest music, with some very deep stuff on it - my son insisted we spend our last few cents until payday on it. His testimony was a real blessing - he's had rough times and good times, and his faith is an inspiration.
It was a good way to start the week.
On Sabbath my son and I spent an entire hour studying the Bible and learning about God. He "let God turn the pages" of his Bible - the wind was blowing - and we stopped and studied wherever the wind blew us to. He'd tell God to slow down if we hadn't finished reading and the wind wanted to turn the next page...:) At the end of the Sabbath day he told me it had been a very good day, and that he'd really enjoyed doing God-stuff. WOW!
Sunday night we had our "famous musician" at church - Andre de Villiers, who has just spent 6 weeks touring churches in Australia / New Zealand, and is well-known in South Africa. It was a wonderful service, very relaxed. He may be famous, but he's very down-to-earth. Worship was awesome too. We came away with a signed CD of his latest music, with some very deep stuff on it - my son insisted we spend our last few cents until payday on it. His testimony was a real blessing - he's had rough times and good times, and his faith is an inspiration.
It was a good way to start the week.
Sick/Tired
My blog may be silent for a day or two. I had to go get my son from school this morning (his teacher said "his freckles were sticking out" - he was pale, shaky and wanting to hurl...). I might be coming down with it too. I had a rough weekend sleep-wise and there's a nagging headache, sore throat, the sneezes. I could do with a day off work to veg in bed...
But then again - this blog might NOT be silent - it's pretty hard for me to shut up! I might drag myself into the office just to say something!:)
But then again - this blog might NOT be silent - it's pretty hard for me to shut up! I might drag myself into the office just to say something!:)
Challenged!
Well, I did it! I challenged our staff to "be church" this morning at the staff worship! I nearly chickened out first though.... I don't get nervous standing up to read something written by someone else, but getting up to speak my mind and heart is something completely different!
I started out asking "when I say the word 'church' what's the first thing that comes to mind?" and then built on the fact that WE are church - it's not a building or a routine or having to dress up once a week. I used (with permission) a part of Karen's post from last week. I added in bits of what I perceive we can do to be church. And I left them with a challenge to find out for themselves what it means to be church.
I don't know if they forgot everything I said as soon as they left the room, or if something sunk in. But I've stuck my neck out and shared. The rest is up to them.
I started out asking "when I say the word 'church' what's the first thing that comes to mind?" and then built on the fact that WE are church - it's not a building or a routine or having to dress up once a week. I used (with permission) a part of Karen's post from last week. I added in bits of what I perceive we can do to be church. And I left them with a challenge to find out for themselves what it means to be church.
I don't know if they forgot everything I said as soon as they left the room, or if something sunk in. But I've stuck my neck out and shared. The rest is up to them.
Where I'm From
Fred got this writing assignment going earlier in the week (If you have yet to visit his site, go there! His photography is beautiful, words awesome). Here's my contribution:
WHERE I'M FROM
I am from Bic pen, from Pronutro and Marmite.
I am from gigantic avocado tree shading roof.
I am from dry dust bushveld, African thunder-heat summer.
I am from farm-trip for Christmas and freckles, from Garth and Little Gran and Burgoynes.
I am from the sleep-late and vegetarian-if-you-have-it.
From veggies come before dessert and if you can’t be a good example be a terrible warning.
I am from seventh-day Sabbath and seek-it-myself. I am from pastor’s brat and worship music.
I'm from East London and seafaring men, home-made gluten turkey and haystacks-for-lunch.
From the uncle John was killed a week before his wedding, the first grandchild, and the brother who we’ll all live off one day.
I am from a big box in the garage and the most prominent shelf, a back cupboard and silver picture-frames, email attachment and scanned slide.
WHERE I'M FROM
I am from Bic pen, from Pronutro and Marmite.
I am from gigantic avocado tree shading roof.
I am from dry dust bushveld, African thunder-heat summer.
I am from farm-trip for Christmas and freckles, from Garth and Little Gran and Burgoynes.
I am from the sleep-late and vegetarian-if-you-have-it.
From veggies come before dessert and if you can’t be a good example be a terrible warning.
I am from seventh-day Sabbath and seek-it-myself. I am from pastor’s brat and worship music.
I'm from East London and seafaring men, home-made gluten turkey and haystacks-for-lunch.
From the uncle John was killed a week before his wedding, the first grandchild, and the brother who we’ll all live off one day.
I am from a big box in the garage and the most prominent shelf, a back cupboard and silver picture-frames, email attachment and scanned slide.
Music for Worship
I'm a complete and utter music addict. If I had a million bucks I'd probably go blow it on CDs and a big soundsystem - oh, and one for the car too!
I'm particularly a worship music addict - in the expansive sense of the word. I love live recordings, it almost feels like you're there.
It's amazing how big music is when it comes to worship. Music can divide a church or unite it. Music can be used to whip up a crowd into an ecstatic frenzy, or transfix them in silence. It can be used for good - or evil. It's one of the most hotly-debated subjects around.
But for me music is the best way I worship.
Very often you'll find me on a Friday night at the piano, with a CD playing loudly enough for me to play along with - yes, I do play by ear, not terribly good at reading music, but getting better slowly. I just sit and play and "let my fingers do the worshipping". I get lost in it. (Hope the neighbours don't mind...)
My mother is a conservative lady, and moving to a lively church in Australia was a culture shock. It's taken her 2 years there to lift her hands in praise to waist-level... :) And yet in her private time with God she uses music and movement in a "dance of adoration", expressing her thoughts and prayers to God through her physical movements. She would never do this in public! She's just not comfortable with it.
As a church worship musician, we practice 3 hours for every 1-hour worship at the service. One can get completely caught up in technicalities, in getting it right, and completely miss worshipping through the music. But when you leave out all presumptions of how good you are, how well the team is performing, (or not), it's amazing what happens.
A few weeks ago it was just me on piano, the drums and an acoustic guitar. In the middle of the worship it happened - the entire team felt it. We lost a sense of what we were doing, what came next. We were suddenly worshipping completely! We could feel God's presence so close, so real. And it wasn't only us - many folk in the congregation came up to us afterwards and said they felt it too.
Sometimes we get in the way of worship - we block what God's trying to do. Often we need to be more "broken", to realize fingers and voices can fail, to understand that we need to lean on God for direction in worship, let Him work through the gifts and talents He's given.
I've found that the times we seem to have not practiced enough, the times when I go onstage not entirely sure of what we're going to do when, THOSE are the times that God takes over, takes control and comes near.
Oh Lord, break me this weekend - let me be completely dependent on you. Let me not focus on the "famous musician" who will take our service sitting in the front row, let me not worry about how good or bad I am, the flow, the notes - let it be ALL ABOUT YOU!
I'm particularly a worship music addict - in the expansive sense of the word. I love live recordings, it almost feels like you're there.
It's amazing how big music is when it comes to worship. Music can divide a church or unite it. Music can be used to whip up a crowd into an ecstatic frenzy, or transfix them in silence. It can be used for good - or evil. It's one of the most hotly-debated subjects around.
But for me music is the best way I worship.
Very often you'll find me on a Friday night at the piano, with a CD playing loudly enough for me to play along with - yes, I do play by ear, not terribly good at reading music, but getting better slowly. I just sit and play and "let my fingers do the worshipping". I get lost in it. (Hope the neighbours don't mind...)
My mother is a conservative lady, and moving to a lively church in Australia was a culture shock. It's taken her 2 years there to lift her hands in praise to waist-level... :) And yet in her private time with God she uses music and movement in a "dance of adoration", expressing her thoughts and prayers to God through her physical movements. She would never do this in public! She's just not comfortable with it.
As a church worship musician, we practice 3 hours for every 1-hour worship at the service. One can get completely caught up in technicalities, in getting it right, and completely miss worshipping through the music. But when you leave out all presumptions of how good you are, how well the team is performing, (or not), it's amazing what happens.
A few weeks ago it was just me on piano, the drums and an acoustic guitar. In the middle of the worship it happened - the entire team felt it. We lost a sense of what we were doing, what came next. We were suddenly worshipping completely! We could feel God's presence so close, so real. And it wasn't only us - many folk in the congregation came up to us afterwards and said they felt it too.
Sometimes we get in the way of worship - we block what God's trying to do. Often we need to be more "broken", to realize fingers and voices can fail, to understand that we need to lean on God for direction in worship, let Him work through the gifts and talents He's given.
I've found that the times we seem to have not practiced enough, the times when I go onstage not entirely sure of what we're going to do when, THOSE are the times that God takes over, takes control and comes near.
Oh Lord, break me this weekend - let me be completely dependent on you. Let me not focus on the "famous musician" who will take our service sitting in the front row, let me not worry about how good or bad I am, the flow, the notes - let it be ALL ABOUT YOU!
Friday Five
Just for the heck of it....
1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.
Miniscule
2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.
Conservative, approachable
3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.
Physical, rewarding, multi-sensory
4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.
Stop/start, rushed, gone
5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.
Relaxed, rewarding, fulfilled, varied, experiential
1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.
Miniscule
2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.
Conservative, approachable
3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.
Physical, rewarding, multi-sensory
4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.
Stop/start, rushed, gone
5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.
Relaxed, rewarding, fulfilled, varied, experiential
Stepping out...
Our staff members meet every morning for a short worship/devotional to start the working day. I'm on duty to take it Monday morning.
I'm thinking of taking my life in my hands and challenging them to "be church". All of them are conservative types, and think I'm weird and way-out for what I do and don't do when it comes to church and religion. I don't know what reaction I'm going to get, but I'm sure there will be some who will push me even further into the loony bin.
This weekend I'm going to think very carefully on how I can challenge them without pushing them too far - how I can speak without losing them - what I can say that they will be able to relate to, that's not outside of their understanding.
This morning one lady spoke on the huge difference between a family in the USA and Africa in terms of lifestyle, possessions, support system etc. Perhaps I'll use that as a jumping-off point to emphasize our need to be church in our community.
I so much want to share all the thoughts and journeys that are mulling around my head, but I know that would be pushing things a little too far. They're at a place far from where I am, and wouldn't understand - where I'm at has been a long journey with many stops on the way.
It's going to be hard to put into understandable language what I want to say, and I think I'll just make it a simple challenge to be church, to find out what that means to each individual, and to actually act on it.
Perhaps this is Step 3 of Being Church?
I'm thinking of taking my life in my hands and challenging them to "be church". All of them are conservative types, and think I'm weird and way-out for what I do and don't do when it comes to church and religion. I don't know what reaction I'm going to get, but I'm sure there will be some who will push me even further into the loony bin.
This weekend I'm going to think very carefully on how I can challenge them without pushing them too far - how I can speak without losing them - what I can say that they will be able to relate to, that's not outside of their understanding.
This morning one lady spoke on the huge difference between a family in the USA and Africa in terms of lifestyle, possessions, support system etc. Perhaps I'll use that as a jumping-off point to emphasize our need to be church in our community.
I so much want to share all the thoughts and journeys that are mulling around my head, but I know that would be pushing things a little too far. They're at a place far from where I am, and wouldn't understand - where I'm at has been a long journey with many stops on the way.
It's going to be hard to put into understandable language what I want to say, and I think I'll just make it a simple challenge to be church, to find out what that means to each individual, and to actually act on it.
Perhaps this is Step 3 of Being Church?
Summertime
Today the temp is up above 30C - summer at last - and after work we're heading down to the beach! My son is really into bodyboarding, although he's missing a leash and flippers, and doesn't own a wetsuit. However, you'll find him in the water whether it's icy cold or boiling hot. (Perhaps I should put a leash and flippers on his Christmas list...)
So today, while the heat's on and the south-easter is still just a breeze, we're off to Surfer's Corner, Strand, to catch some waves!
So today, while the heat's on and the south-easter is still just a breeze, we're off to Surfer's Corner, Strand, to catch some waves!
Updates
The lost dog from yesterday has found a home. He was apparently left behind when his owners went back to China, in the care of a friend. Said friend dumped him on campus, but the lady who runs the cafeteria has taken him in. How folk can just dump a dependant animal is beyond me... Some are calling the dog a "she", but I'm sure I saw evidence otherwise!
Pastor Brian is still in hospital after his accident, and will be for a while yet. We gathered to pray for him on Friday night and a website has been set up to inform everyone of his progress. He has serious head, lung, neck etc injuries and it was touch-and-go for a while, but he seems to be slowly improving. He's off sedation now, but with a broken vertebra is pinned to prevent movement. He needs continued prayers. There's a long road ahead.
Pastor Brian is still in hospital after his accident, and will be for a while yet. We gathered to pray for him on Friday night and a website has been set up to inform everyone of his progress. He has serious head, lung, neck etc injuries and it was touch-and-go for a while, but he seems to be slowly improving. He's off sedation now, but with a broken vertebra is pinned to prevent movement. He needs continued prayers. There's a long road ahead.
Being Church: Step 2
Real Live Preacher got me thinking this morning on doing one good thing, as did Aaron's post on Radical Congruency. (Amaizng how similar thoughts come up across the web on any given day!)
So... in my quest to be church today I am going to find one thing that I can do for another that may make a difference in their lives. I will try to do it anon, so that I will not receive credit, glory or back-slapping for a "good work" - only me and God will know about it. I'm not sure what form this one good thing will take today. But I will seek it out with God's help and do it without asking why.
So... in my quest to be church today I am going to find one thing that I can do for another that may make a difference in their lives. I will try to do it anon, so that I will not receive credit, glory or back-slapping for a "good work" - only me and God will know about it. I'm not sure what form this one good thing will take today. But I will seek it out with God's help and do it without asking why.
The House
There's an image in my mind of a house I've never seen.
It's a big old wooden double-story place with a large front porch. A short walk of steps leads to the front door. The kitchen is filled with sunlight streaming through jars of newly-made preserves on the windowsill, reflected on a warm golden-brown floor. There is a large living room with a fireplace and a 3-sided view. The house wraps itself without interruption around its heart.
A staircase rises inside the front door and through the middle of the house, leading to floors that creak when you walk and thunder when you run. Under the eaves cozy rooms nestle. Rain on the roof sounds like hail.
There is a massive tree in front of the house and an old tyre swing hangs from its ancient arms. Un-interfered-with grass ripples down to a little creek at the bottom of the garden. The sounds of children at play and a happy dog can be heard from its secret green curtains.
Beyond the house stands an old barn, the cows coming in for the evening, scattering chickens and a goose or two. An orchard hums with warm bees, sheltering green swathes of vegetation and field creatures. Fat juicy vegetables reside in plump soil beyond the kitchen window.
Far in the distance the horizon is ringed with wooded hills. No city lights pollute the night sky. Sounds of animals and a lone tractor carry across the still air forever.
Sometimes I think I catch glimpses of it. Perhaps this house is a merging of good memories. Maybe it's a vision of things to come. It might be just a dream.
It's a big old wooden double-story place with a large front porch. A short walk of steps leads to the front door. The kitchen is filled with sunlight streaming through jars of newly-made preserves on the windowsill, reflected on a warm golden-brown floor. There is a large living room with a fireplace and a 3-sided view. The house wraps itself without interruption around its heart.
A staircase rises inside the front door and through the middle of the house, leading to floors that creak when you walk and thunder when you run. Under the eaves cozy rooms nestle. Rain on the roof sounds like hail.
There is a massive tree in front of the house and an old tyre swing hangs from its ancient arms. Un-interfered-with grass ripples down to a little creek at the bottom of the garden. The sounds of children at play and a happy dog can be heard from its secret green curtains.
Beyond the house stands an old barn, the cows coming in for the evening, scattering chickens and a goose or two. An orchard hums with warm bees, sheltering green swathes of vegetation and field creatures. Fat juicy vegetables reside in plump soil beyond the kitchen window.
Far in the distance the horizon is ringed with wooded hills. No city lights pollute the night sky. Sounds of animals and a lone tractor carry across the still air forever.
Sometimes I think I catch glimpses of it. Perhaps this house is a merging of good memories. Maybe it's a vision of things to come. It might be just a dream.
Online images
I'm repeating what someone else blogged about (sorry, can't remember who or I'd link you!) - but it's amazing how you form an image of someone you meet online, and yet they can be so completely different in person.
There are those who conveniently include a picture of themselves on their blog - so you get a fair idea of what they look like. There are others who perhaps are wise not to.... :)
After 3 weeks in blogland I'm starting to recognize names across various sites and comments. We seem to move in the same circles. Personalities are being revealed and probably automatically shoved into appropriate boxes by my overworked brain. Same overworked brain conjures up a picture of an appropriate face to stick on the box too.
And yet, should I run into these familiar names on the street I don't think I'd recognize them. I might be very surprised by their in-person face, personality, mannerisms. I might not like them in real life, though I enjoy their company online.
Perhaps all these people I think I know are really just my computer generating words and random thoughts? Perhaps they don't even really exist!
Perhaps the thing we call the internet, the connections we make, is really just some huge big mega-whopper of a computer, programmed to produce online people that we get to know, fall in love with, battle against, quote or delete.
Perhaps I need to go get a cup of coffee.....
There are those who conveniently include a picture of themselves on their blog - so you get a fair idea of what they look like. There are others who perhaps are wise not to.... :)
After 3 weeks in blogland I'm starting to recognize names across various sites and comments. We seem to move in the same circles. Personalities are being revealed and probably automatically shoved into appropriate boxes by my overworked brain. Same overworked brain conjures up a picture of an appropriate face to stick on the box too.
And yet, should I run into these familiar names on the street I don't think I'd recognize them. I might be very surprised by their in-person face, personality, mannerisms. I might not like them in real life, though I enjoy their company online.
Perhaps all these people I think I know are really just my computer generating words and random thoughts? Perhaps they don't even really exist!
Perhaps the thing we call the internet, the connections we make, is really just some huge big mega-whopper of a computer, programmed to produce online people that we get to know, fall in love with, battle against, quote or delete.
Perhaps I need to go get a cup of coffee.....
Lost Dog
Dogs love me. Birds love me. (Most kids are OK with me.) I could do with more dogs and less people some days.
This morning a dog wandered into the office block. We'd seen him walking the middle of a road near here yesterday evening, on the way home from a bread-stop. Assumed he was near his home and just taking a walk. A very distinctive dog - ugly as hell, solid muscle, pure white with pig eyes and two black ears, slobbery mouth and waggy tail.
And today he turned up at the office. Some ran from him - these dogs are known for their strong bitey jaws and dislike of strangers, often attacking. Me - well, I just wandered up to him and gave him a head-scratch.
I found a container and water, and he drank deeply, depositing slobber like foamy waves on the water's surface as quickly as it disappeared down his throat. Later he leant against me for a back-scratch under the desk, eyes closed, relaxing as he got a bit of love.
I'm sure he's lost. He was very thirsty. He smelt leftover food in a dustbin and was interested. He must be hungry. He has no collar. And now he's gone his way.
Good luck, sweet dog. Find your home soon.
This morning a dog wandered into the office block. We'd seen him walking the middle of a road near here yesterday evening, on the way home from a bread-stop. Assumed he was near his home and just taking a walk. A very distinctive dog - ugly as hell, solid muscle, pure white with pig eyes and two black ears, slobbery mouth and waggy tail.
And today he turned up at the office. Some ran from him - these dogs are known for their strong bitey jaws and dislike of strangers, often attacking. Me - well, I just wandered up to him and gave him a head-scratch.
I found a container and water, and he drank deeply, depositing slobber like foamy waves on the water's surface as quickly as it disappeared down his throat. Later he leant against me for a back-scratch under the desk, eyes closed, relaxing as he got a bit of love.
I'm sure he's lost. He was very thirsty. He smelt leftover food in a dustbin and was interested. He must be hungry. He has no collar. And now he's gone his way.
Good luck, sweet dog. Find your home soon.
Blank Headspace
It's a quiet day today - yesterday I had perhaps too much to say, and today there's not much of anything. All the little one-liners I write down to blog about later are unappealing. I'm thinking no profound thoughts. I haven't had a radical experience nor have I found sudden inspiration. OK, to be fair, I HAVE posted comments on other folk's blogs here and there, but mine is languishing in silence.
I guess one needs days like this, or the head might explode. Mental down-time. Brain on idle. Electric impulses just buzzing quietly. It's just me and my echoing headspace today. And it's not a bad thing.
I guess one needs days like this, or the head might explode. Mental down-time. Brain on idle. Electric impulses just buzzing quietly. It's just me and my echoing headspace today. And it's not a bad thing.
Being Church: Step 1
In my quest to be the church, today I'm going to treat everyone I come into contact with as a child of God, created and loved unconditionally by Him - and not for me to judge. I will not bow to gossip or back-biting, or encourage others to do so by what I say or do. Today I'm going to reflect as clearly as I can Jesus-love. It's probably going to be tough - old habits die hard - but today I'm going to try.
5 Questions
From Sunday Brunch:
1. How many hours of sleep do average per day/night?
I'm a sleep-addict. I need at least 8 hours a night, 10 if I can get them and afternoon naps on weekends. Without that much I start getting nasty to people....
2. Are you a bed or blanket hog?
I don't get a chance to be! If I try I'll get bitten.... Two of my dogs sleep on the bed with me, and take up most of it. I have to make do with a sliver on one side. I have to grab enough bedding as I get in, before they jump up. Any attempt at getting more of the blanket or bed and the growlies start up.
3. Are you a sleepwalker?
Heck, no! Since becoming a mom I'm a pretty light sleeper and would know if I went walkies.
4. Do you have recurring dreams?
There was one a while back in which a ghost featured. It was the kind of terrifying dream where I actually was too scared to wake up. It's been a while since I had that one. One I have often and enjoy is "swimming" in the air, the faster you swim the higher you fly! Oh, to be able to do that in real life...
5. Do you talk in your sleep?
Not usually. The ghost dream above had me waking up with a lost-voice hoarse kind of cry for "help, please help!", but as far as I know that's the only time I've talked. Dogs haven't said otherwise.
1. How many hours of sleep do average per day/night?
I'm a sleep-addict. I need at least 8 hours a night, 10 if I can get them and afternoon naps on weekends. Without that much I start getting nasty to people....
2. Are you a bed or blanket hog?
I don't get a chance to be! If I try I'll get bitten.... Two of my dogs sleep on the bed with me, and take up most of it. I have to make do with a sliver on one side. I have to grab enough bedding as I get in, before they jump up. Any attempt at getting more of the blanket or bed and the growlies start up.
3. Are you a sleepwalker?
Heck, no! Since becoming a mom I'm a pretty light sleeper and would know if I went walkies.
4. Do you have recurring dreams?
There was one a while back in which a ghost featured. It was the kind of terrifying dream where I actually was too scared to wake up. It's been a while since I had that one. One I have often and enjoy is "swimming" in the air, the faster you swim the higher you fly! Oh, to be able to do that in real life...
5. Do you talk in your sleep?
Not usually. The ghost dream above had me waking up with a lost-voice hoarse kind of cry for "help, please help!", but as far as I know that's the only time I've talked. Dogs haven't said otherwise.
Kids and Church-planting
On Friday I received the latest issue of Cutting Edge, Vineyard's church-planting mag. I always look forward to the articles and insights - there's often a lot of food for thought, with some out-of-the-norm ways of looking at and doing things.
Well, this time the issue centres around planting churches with a vision for kids. It emphasizes how kids and youth are the church of TODAY, not TOMORROW, and how a church-planting vision needs to have a plan as to where kids and youth fit in - if they'll be catered for and how, what you envision their contribution and place to be.
So I want to pose this question to any church planters reading this. What are you doing for the kids in your new church? Have you included them in your plan or not? Do they have a place in your vision?
Well, this time the issue centres around planting churches with a vision for kids. It emphasizes how kids and youth are the church of TODAY, not TOMORROW, and how a church-planting vision needs to have a plan as to where kids and youth fit in - if they'll be catered for and how, what you envision their contribution and place to be.
So I want to pose this question to any church planters reading this. What are you doing for the kids in your new church? Have you included them in your plan or not? Do they have a place in your vision?
The Parable of the Chili Plant
I have a chili plant in my office. It just recently moved in.
For 7 years it sat on my porch, just behind 2 love palms, and produced a few chilies, a couple of dark green leaves, and not much else. It got water, it got a bit of indirect sunlight, and was happy enough. It collected stray doghair and spiders, a couple of ants and not much attention.
A month ago I decided my office needed a bit of greenery and brought it from home to put in my office windowsill. After an initial peeping out of delicate green leaves, I was surprised one Monday to find it had sprouted new branches 15cm long, with flowers! Since then it has taken over completely. Now there are a number of lovely large chilies adorning it's branches, blushing delicately into robust red.
I added another chili plant recently - not only is it going mad and producing flowers, chilies and leaves, but the entire surface of the soil is now covered in newly-sprouted chili plants, heading upwards. This could be something from the Little Shop of Horrors soon...
My chili plant has clearly found the place it was meant to be. It's thriving, it's producing fruit, it grows more every day.
And I've found mine too.
For 7 years it sat on my porch, just behind 2 love palms, and produced a few chilies, a couple of dark green leaves, and not much else. It got water, it got a bit of indirect sunlight, and was happy enough. It collected stray doghair and spiders, a couple of ants and not much attention.
A month ago I decided my office needed a bit of greenery and brought it from home to put in my office windowsill. After an initial peeping out of delicate green leaves, I was surprised one Monday to find it had sprouted new branches 15cm long, with flowers! Since then it has taken over completely. Now there are a number of lovely large chilies adorning it's branches, blushing delicately into robust red.
I added another chili plant recently - not only is it going mad and producing flowers, chilies and leaves, but the entire surface of the soil is now covered in newly-sprouted chili plants, heading upwards. This could be something from the Little Shop of Horrors soon...
My chili plant has clearly found the place it was meant to be. It's thriving, it's producing fruit, it grows more every day.
And I've found mine too.
Weekend snapshots
Images that stand out from this past weekend:
My son cooking his favourite (only) recipe for BBQ Masala Beans, all on his own, as a contribution to a delicious meal.
A yellow-billed kite soaring and swooping low over me. Finally identifying a pair of huge birds as Jackal Buzzards, after a year of guessing and running for the bird book every time they appeared.
My son taking himself off to church, willingly and happily, making his own spiritual choices and being open to learn.
Close-ups of newly-mown lawn from a comfy spot flat out in the sun, surrounded by a couple of "dog-warmers" taking advantage of something softer than grass to sit on.
Fresh hot coffee overlooking the entire spread of False Bay in springtime.
My "little friend" (a female shrike) flying to within a metre of me for a drink from the garden hose, unafraid.
A sense of joyful worship, lifting the roof in exaltant song at our church worship team presentation. Harshest critic and two others I invited in attendance, and enjoying it.
Pitching a tent that's been in the garage for years - bringing back memories of camps on the Zambezi river and encounters with a pack of hyenas...
Lemon pudding, hot out the oven - heaven! Fresh from-scratch-bread, hot out the oven - heaven again!
Peace, quiet and a 3-hour uninterrupted nap. More heaven.
My son cooking his favourite (only) recipe for BBQ Masala Beans, all on his own, as a contribution to a delicious meal.
A yellow-billed kite soaring and swooping low over me. Finally identifying a pair of huge birds as Jackal Buzzards, after a year of guessing and running for the bird book every time they appeared.
My son taking himself off to church, willingly and happily, making his own spiritual choices and being open to learn.
Close-ups of newly-mown lawn from a comfy spot flat out in the sun, surrounded by a couple of "dog-warmers" taking advantage of something softer than grass to sit on.
Fresh hot coffee overlooking the entire spread of False Bay in springtime.
My "little friend" (a female shrike) flying to within a metre of me for a drink from the garden hose, unafraid.
A sense of joyful worship, lifting the roof in exaltant song at our church worship team presentation. Harshest critic and two others I invited in attendance, and enjoying it.
Pitching a tent that's been in the garage for years - bringing back memories of camps on the Zambezi river and encounters with a pack of hyenas...
Lemon pudding, hot out the oven - heaven! Fresh from-scratch-bread, hot out the oven - heaven again!
Peace, quiet and a 3-hour uninterrupted nap. More heaven.
Breakthrough
I would have posted earlier today, but am finding it hard to put into words the breakthrough I had this weekend, while enjoying my Sabbath rest and pondering life, God and all sorts of stuff.
It was a "religious", not a spiritual, breakthrough. Let me attempt to explain:
For a number of years I've been muddling in the mire of trying to figure out who and what I am in relation to church, denomination, God etc. I've had moments of light and signposts pointing me in the right direction, but have still felt trapped in a circle of doubt and deliberation.
I blogged recently on denomination vs Christianity, and I think I've finally found direction! It's probably not profound to many, but to me it seems like the sun's shining through.
I've been facing stiff opposition and judgemental attitudes from those who can't understand my church-hopping, experimentation and search. It's made me very uncomfortable to be around these folk, I have to see them every day and I dread it. I've also never really been absorbed into the church I attend regularly, because if I become a member there I may lose my job here - complicated...long story.
But this weekend it finally happened. God got it through my thick skull that I can be just a Christian, don't need a denominational identity, and can have a "worship home" (church I attend) without making that my belief home (I've been defining my own beliefs and they don't necessarily match up with a set denomination).
I've almost gotten past worrying what others think of my choices, and although their criticism may bother me, I think I'm OK with the fact that I'm different and that what I need is what I NEED, not what THEY NEED.
If folk want to talk behind my back or criticise me to my face I will try to explain my view, but if they can't see my vision, then it's not actually my problem. I don't have to worry about it nor do I have to let it get me down.
So this morning I approached the new week with a sense of peace and contentment, knowing that I can fully trust in God to define my future and lead me to where He wants me.
All I know is from now on I'm going to do what I believe God is calling me to, with His help, and let Him be my defining belief. I'm not going to let denominational expectations restrict or dictate what God wants me to do. I'm going to act what I believe and express what's inside me. I'm going to finally BE THE CHURCH!
First baby step taken. So, where do WE go from here, Lord? Are we there yet....?
It was a "religious", not a spiritual, breakthrough. Let me attempt to explain:
For a number of years I've been muddling in the mire of trying to figure out who and what I am in relation to church, denomination, God etc. I've had moments of light and signposts pointing me in the right direction, but have still felt trapped in a circle of doubt and deliberation.
I blogged recently on denomination vs Christianity, and I think I've finally found direction! It's probably not profound to many, but to me it seems like the sun's shining through.
I've been facing stiff opposition and judgemental attitudes from those who can't understand my church-hopping, experimentation and search. It's made me very uncomfortable to be around these folk, I have to see them every day and I dread it. I've also never really been absorbed into the church I attend regularly, because if I become a member there I may lose my job here - complicated...long story.
But this weekend it finally happened. God got it through my thick skull that I can be just a Christian, don't need a denominational identity, and can have a "worship home" (church I attend) without making that my belief home (I've been defining my own beliefs and they don't necessarily match up with a set denomination).
I've almost gotten past worrying what others think of my choices, and although their criticism may bother me, I think I'm OK with the fact that I'm different and that what I need is what I NEED, not what THEY NEED.
If folk want to talk behind my back or criticise me to my face I will try to explain my view, but if they can't see my vision, then it's not actually my problem. I don't have to worry about it nor do I have to let it get me down.
So this morning I approached the new week with a sense of peace and contentment, knowing that I can fully trust in God to define my future and lead me to where He wants me.
All I know is from now on I'm going to do what I believe God is calling me to, with His help, and let Him be my defining belief. I'm not going to let denominational expectations restrict or dictate what God wants me to do. I'm going to act what I believe and express what's inside me. I'm going to finally BE THE CHURCH!
First baby step taken. So, where do WE go from here, Lord? Are we there yet....?
My Sabbath Time-out
In a few hours the Sabbath will be here - a weekly celebration and rest that I could not do without.
I'm not Jewish, but I do keep the Sabbath from sunset Friday to sunset Saturday. And by "keeping" I mean that it's a time set aside from my daily routine and worries, time for God, family, nature and friends.
I'm by no means a legalistic keeper of the Sabbath hours - I do not think resting in God involves strict adherence to man-made-up regulations. Nor do I count down the minutes and seconds to the start and end of the day to make sure it's EXACTLY sunset. :) Keeping the Sabbath means different things in different cultures and to different people, and I believe it's up to each individual to discover what it means to them.
For my family, we turn off the TV and radio so we will not be distracted or coerced by what they have to say. We do have our favourite CDs and a few videos that we'll watch - nature stuff, praise and worship music, videos of my parents in Australia etc, but the peace and quiet without these is often better. We try to get our shopping and cleaning out the way before the Sabbath so we can truly rest. We enjoy special goodies to eat, with enough time to prepare them - Sabbath is always dessert day!:) We spend Friday night together, talking and relaxing, and then indulge in candle-lit bubble baths as a special extra. Any issues, worries and busy-things of the week are put out of our minds, to be dealt with after Sabbath or left entirely in God's hands for Him to sort out while we rest.
Perhaps I'll spend part of the Sabbath at a local church, or reading my Bible or other books and articles that challenge or feed me spiritually. Perhaps my son and I will take the day out in nature - at the beach, nature reserve, up the mountain with the dogs or just outside in our garden. We might spend some of it with our family and friends, sharing a meal and a chat. An afternoon nap is a Sabbath luxury that usually can't be passed up, especially after a good lunch!:) Sometimes we're involved with the worship team in workshops or prayer and planning times. Perhaps we'll do a little baking together or draw or write, stretching our creative bits in time that's not available as we rush through the week. We might take a trip around the coast and find a place for a picnic.
And every week I come out of the Sabbath hours refreshed and revitalized, ready for the challenges of the new week. I'm looking forward to it already!
Shabbat Shalom!
I'm not Jewish, but I do keep the Sabbath from sunset Friday to sunset Saturday. And by "keeping" I mean that it's a time set aside from my daily routine and worries, time for God, family, nature and friends.
I'm by no means a legalistic keeper of the Sabbath hours - I do not think resting in God involves strict adherence to man-made-up regulations. Nor do I count down the minutes and seconds to the start and end of the day to make sure it's EXACTLY sunset. :) Keeping the Sabbath means different things in different cultures and to different people, and I believe it's up to each individual to discover what it means to them.
For my family, we turn off the TV and radio so we will not be distracted or coerced by what they have to say. We do have our favourite CDs and a few videos that we'll watch - nature stuff, praise and worship music, videos of my parents in Australia etc, but the peace and quiet without these is often better. We try to get our shopping and cleaning out the way before the Sabbath so we can truly rest. We enjoy special goodies to eat, with enough time to prepare them - Sabbath is always dessert day!:) We spend Friday night together, talking and relaxing, and then indulge in candle-lit bubble baths as a special extra. Any issues, worries and busy-things of the week are put out of our minds, to be dealt with after Sabbath or left entirely in God's hands for Him to sort out while we rest.
Perhaps I'll spend part of the Sabbath at a local church, or reading my Bible or other books and articles that challenge or feed me spiritually. Perhaps my son and I will take the day out in nature - at the beach, nature reserve, up the mountain with the dogs or just outside in our garden. We might spend some of it with our family and friends, sharing a meal and a chat. An afternoon nap is a Sabbath luxury that usually can't be passed up, especially after a good lunch!:) Sometimes we're involved with the worship team in workshops or prayer and planning times. Perhaps we'll do a little baking together or draw or write, stretching our creative bits in time that's not available as we rush through the week. We might take a trip around the coast and find a place for a picnic.
And every week I come out of the Sabbath hours refreshed and revitalized, ready for the challenges of the new week. I'm looking forward to it already!
Shabbat Shalom!
Oh Bugg..!
er.... Does ANYONE on this planet know how to debug IExplorer? It seems not - or if they do, they're not sharing.
I have been searching for answers, downloading hopeful-looking things, trying all this blonde brain can think of, and I'm still getting the type of script errors and "do you want to debug"s that make "comments" on some blogs just disappear...! It's been a frustrating few days and sometimes I wish I were a know-it-all...
And then there's the "send error report?" thing that pops up on my first browser opening each day, and now and then throughout the day - indicating problems with a programme I do not have!
Perhaps after all Microsoft's only purpose on this planet is to test our Christian experience!:) If we survive their error messages without turning bad, we'll be OK.
I have been searching for answers, downloading hopeful-looking things, trying all this blonde brain can think of, and I'm still getting the type of script errors and "do you want to debug"s that make "comments" on some blogs just disappear...! It's been a frustrating few days and sometimes I wish I were a know-it-all...
And then there's the "send error report?" thing that pops up on my first browser opening each day, and now and then throughout the day - indicating problems with a programme I do not have!
Perhaps after all Microsoft's only purpose on this planet is to test our Christian experience!:) If we survive their error messages without turning bad, we'll be OK.
Prayer
If you can take a second to remember a stranger, my former pastor has just been in a gigantic accident near here. We're not sure of his condition yet, but it's serious enough that he's being air-lifted to the nearest hospital. Please bear him up in prayer if you have a moment. Thanks.
UPDATE received:
"This is to inform you that Ps Brian Sterley was involved in a serious accident near Kromco Packers on the N2 Road near Grabouw this morning on his way to Port Elizabeth. We have just had a report that he has been taken up in the MediClinic Hospital and has now been stabilized. He has head, lung and other internal injuries as well as a broken arm, and a Cat. scan will be done soon to determine the scope of the head injuries. His condition is critical, so please pray for him."
UPDATE received:
"This is to inform you that Ps Brian Sterley was involved in a serious accident near Kromco Packers on the N2 Road near Grabouw this morning on his way to Port Elizabeth. We have just had a report that he has been taken up in the MediClinic Hospital and has now been stabilized. He has head, lung and other internal injuries as well as a broken arm, and a Cat. scan will be done soon to determine the scope of the head injuries. His condition is critical, so please pray for him."
South African men
Ladies, if you're in the market for a man, let me tell you a little secret.... South African men are yummy!:) I've just had two prime specimens in my office, trying to sell health insurance to the college for our students. And they're just your average off-the-street model.
Now, I'm by no means a world traveller, but I have been here and there...
American men - well, perhaps I was in the wrong place (Tennessee?), but I didn't see more than one or two I liked in the 3 1/2 months I spent in the USA.
Australians - the further north you go, the worse they get. Found one nice-looking guy in Cairns..and he came from Sydney!
Kiwis - dated one old bod briefly, perhaps the rest of the nation can redeem him?
British - don't get enough sun. It affects them.
Brazilians and other hot-blooded Latin types - vain, if they're good-looking. Vain, if they're not.
But South Africans - well, walk down any street, through any shopping mall, hop on a South African Airways flight, and you'll see "lekker" (delicious, great, fantastic) men streaming by, an all-you-can-eat eye-candy buffet!
So if you're still looking....contact me for a free place to stay and let me show you the sights! One at a time, now.
Oh - and don't be put off by the fact that I haven't had a date in 8 years. These things happen. Why do you think I'm moving to Australia? I've run out of options on this continent...:)
(Now guys - no hate mail/male please - perhaps you're the one redeeming factor in your entire male population! If so, stand proud!)
Now, I'm by no means a world traveller, but I have been here and there...
American men - well, perhaps I was in the wrong place (Tennessee?), but I didn't see more than one or two I liked in the 3 1/2 months I spent in the USA.
Australians - the further north you go, the worse they get. Found one nice-looking guy in Cairns..and he came from Sydney!
Kiwis - dated one old bod briefly, perhaps the rest of the nation can redeem him?
British - don't get enough sun. It affects them.
Brazilians and other hot-blooded Latin types - vain, if they're good-looking. Vain, if they're not.
But South Africans - well, walk down any street, through any shopping mall, hop on a South African Airways flight, and you'll see "lekker" (delicious, great, fantastic) men streaming by, an all-you-can-eat eye-candy buffet!
So if you're still looking....contact me for a free place to stay and let me show you the sights! One at a time, now.
Oh - and don't be put off by the fact that I haven't had a date in 8 years. These things happen. Why do you think I'm moving to Australia? I've run out of options on this continent...:)
(Now guys - no hate mail/male please - perhaps you're the one redeeming factor in your entire male population! If so, stand proud!)
A Sustainable Christian
Over the past year or so I've been re-evaluating my material priorities - you know, the stuff I spend my money on so regularly, or hanker after when I see it hanging around in shops. (Luke got me thinking on this again today)
I've come to the conclusion I really don't need a lot to be happy - in fact I'm almost happier without! It's kinda shaped a vision for the future, a dream I've been dreaming for years.
I'm the type who loves getting my hands dirty - there's nothing better than digging in the dirt and watching stuff grow, and eating your food fresh out the soil (yes, I'm vegetarian, and the odd snail is just added protein...!). I love hard physical work and I like knowing I can do stuff myself - still have to learn about cars though. I don't really have much of a social life - no time after a full day at work and then mothering for the rest of the time. I can do without people constantly being around me - solitude is no issue. My son has struggled with traditional schooling for years and would love home-schooling / apprenticeship as training for what he wants to do. And I don't define myself by my career, lack thereof, successes in traditional working environments or failures. So a self-sustaining lifestyle out in the bundu's (middle of nowhere) is ideal for me.
And then there's the Christian aspect. I believe that as Christians we need to look after the world that the Creator gave us. "Living lightly" on the earth is a term you hear often. Caring for the people, plants, animals and environment around you is part of living a God-fearing life, in my view. I feel closer to God when I am among his creation - his natural wonders from the smallest to the tallest. He often surprises me with flashes of beauty and encounters with wild animals that leave me amazed and astounded.
So by all counts I think I could very happily live a sustainable Christian life. It's what I aspire to, and little by little I'm working on getting there. Baby steps.
I've come to the conclusion I really don't need a lot to be happy - in fact I'm almost happier without! It's kinda shaped a vision for the future, a dream I've been dreaming for years.
I'm the type who loves getting my hands dirty - there's nothing better than digging in the dirt and watching stuff grow, and eating your food fresh out the soil (yes, I'm vegetarian, and the odd snail is just added protein...!). I love hard physical work and I like knowing I can do stuff myself - still have to learn about cars though. I don't really have much of a social life - no time after a full day at work and then mothering for the rest of the time. I can do without people constantly being around me - solitude is no issue. My son has struggled with traditional schooling for years and would love home-schooling / apprenticeship as training for what he wants to do. And I don't define myself by my career, lack thereof, successes in traditional working environments or failures. So a self-sustaining lifestyle out in the bundu's (middle of nowhere) is ideal for me.
And then there's the Christian aspect. I believe that as Christians we need to look after the world that the Creator gave us. "Living lightly" on the earth is a term you hear often. Caring for the people, plants, animals and environment around you is part of living a God-fearing life, in my view. I feel closer to God when I am among his creation - his natural wonders from the smallest to the tallest. He often surprises me with flashes of beauty and encounters with wild animals that leave me amazed and astounded.
So by all counts I think I could very happily live a sustainable Christian life. It's what I aspire to, and little by little I'm working on getting there. Baby steps.
Blogging is like...
...an old-fashioned "exchange"-type telephone line, with everyone connected via one switchboard.
You get to listen in on other folk's conversations without them knowing you're there (or perhaps the "click" on the line DOES give you away), then you get to go discuss them somewhere else! Technology changes...communication habits don't. :)
You get to listen in on other folk's conversations without them knowing you're there (or perhaps the "click" on the line DOES give you away), then you get to go discuss them somewhere else! Technology changes...communication habits don't. :)
The "Zen Zone"
I have a small still pool deep inside me. It's the place I go when the world starts turning into a hurricane. It's where I retreat when I need to find peace.
It wasn't always there. The inside of me and the outside of me used to be the same - either rushing around or still. One echoed the other.
It took a long time to grow. It was built over many days, months, perhaps years. I collected tiny drops of calm, images of peace, sounds and scents that soothed, a deep-breathing practice, a mental centering, a verse, a song - each one deposited carefully in the secret place I'd prepared to hold them. Slowly they flowed together and formed a still, reflective pond.
I go there when stress comes rushing in, demanding energy I do not possess. I let the waters of the pool flow across my soul, refreshing and revitalizing, enabling me to face the onslaught of chaos.
There's a tiny space in my office that takes me there - a polished shell, a gilded Indonesian bowl, a crysal vase of pure white arum lilies from my garden, placed on a deep blue cloth. At times all I need is a glance to renew me - other times it's simply a portal to that clear, calm inner pool.
Sometimes I can feel the pool emptying, drying up under a harsh sun. It's then that I take time out to fill it, time on my own to discover new jewels that will enhance its sparkle, fresh dewdrops to replenish my pool.
It's my secret space, my Zen Zone. It's what holds me together and keeps me on track when everything else is falling apart.
It wasn't always there. The inside of me and the outside of me used to be the same - either rushing around or still. One echoed the other.
It took a long time to grow. It was built over many days, months, perhaps years. I collected tiny drops of calm, images of peace, sounds and scents that soothed, a deep-breathing practice, a mental centering, a verse, a song - each one deposited carefully in the secret place I'd prepared to hold them. Slowly they flowed together and formed a still, reflective pond.
I go there when stress comes rushing in, demanding energy I do not possess. I let the waters of the pool flow across my soul, refreshing and revitalizing, enabling me to face the onslaught of chaos.
There's a tiny space in my office that takes me there - a polished shell, a gilded Indonesian bowl, a crysal vase of pure white arum lilies from my garden, placed on a deep blue cloth. At times all I need is a glance to renew me - other times it's simply a portal to that clear, calm inner pool.
Sometimes I can feel the pool emptying, drying up under a harsh sun. It's then that I take time out to fill it, time on my own to discover new jewels that will enhance its sparkle, fresh dewdrops to replenish my pool.
It's my secret space, my Zen Zone. It's what holds me together and keeps me on track when everything else is falling apart.
Growing Kids in Christ
An article on the next-wave site got me thinking today about how I'm growing or not growing my child in Christ.
As kids we had a daily family worship, learnt our memory verses faithfully each week, knew all the Bible stories and characters, did the weekly Bible lesson study, went to the kid's classes at church, prayed before bedtime and were generally well-trained in Godly things. Our background has continued to influence us as adults - although one of my brothers no longer attends any church, he still has a strong spiritual life, and my other brother is on a similar journey to me, seeking truth and "real" Christianity for himself.
But I often wonder if my son is getting enough spiritual training. Yes, we go to church every week, and he always comes with me to worship practices (too young to stay home alone) - in fact we sometimes spend 9 hours a week at church! We both love our praise & worship music and have at least a weekly Bible study at the start of Sabbath. But I find I'm exhausted at the end of a day of being a working mom and "dad" - and by the time I remember I wanted to have a family worship time, it's too late. We fit in a bedtime prayer most nights... but is this enough? Since leaving our old church, my son doesn't attend a kid's programme, though now and then he'll take himself off to our old church nearby on a whim to see his friend. I'm all he's got, other than the sermons he hears at the youth service.
I feel I have to do more - I just don't know how to go about it. There are very few kid's studies, programmes or guides on the internet for his age that I could print out and use. He's outgrown many of the books and materials we have at home. I was never taught how to study the Bible - still trying to figure it out - and am concerned he will have the same problem later on in his life.
One bright spot is that he's been "absorbed" into the youth group, thanks to my involvement in a drama production with many of them - he's greeted and accepted and loved by a number of wonderful high-school-age kids, who are super role models for a growing boy. Although he doesn't attend their meetings, he knows them and sees them and observes their enthusiasm for God.
He's come out with some real deep thoughts at times from "osmosis" of sermons I thought he wasn't listening to. Perhaps there is more stuff going in than I realize. I'm trying to be a good example to him (and have been criticized for my version of this by other more conservative parents who think I'm not doing it right).
But I still feel there is more that I should be doing as a parent to train my child to follow God - especially in areas that I was left to "sink or swim" like Bible study and practical Christian living. I just don't know how to go about it. It seems everyone else knows - perhaps I just missed that class....?
Watch this space...I might find answers one day if I'm lucky!
As kids we had a daily family worship, learnt our memory verses faithfully each week, knew all the Bible stories and characters, did the weekly Bible lesson study, went to the kid's classes at church, prayed before bedtime and were generally well-trained in Godly things. Our background has continued to influence us as adults - although one of my brothers no longer attends any church, he still has a strong spiritual life, and my other brother is on a similar journey to me, seeking truth and "real" Christianity for himself.
But I often wonder if my son is getting enough spiritual training. Yes, we go to church every week, and he always comes with me to worship practices (too young to stay home alone) - in fact we sometimes spend 9 hours a week at church! We both love our praise & worship music and have at least a weekly Bible study at the start of Sabbath. But I find I'm exhausted at the end of a day of being a working mom and "dad" - and by the time I remember I wanted to have a family worship time, it's too late. We fit in a bedtime prayer most nights... but is this enough? Since leaving our old church, my son doesn't attend a kid's programme, though now and then he'll take himself off to our old church nearby on a whim to see his friend. I'm all he's got, other than the sermons he hears at the youth service.
I feel I have to do more - I just don't know how to go about it. There are very few kid's studies, programmes or guides on the internet for his age that I could print out and use. He's outgrown many of the books and materials we have at home. I was never taught how to study the Bible - still trying to figure it out - and am concerned he will have the same problem later on in his life.
One bright spot is that he's been "absorbed" into the youth group, thanks to my involvement in a drama production with many of them - he's greeted and accepted and loved by a number of wonderful high-school-age kids, who are super role models for a growing boy. Although he doesn't attend their meetings, he knows them and sees them and observes their enthusiasm for God.
He's come out with some real deep thoughts at times from "osmosis" of sermons I thought he wasn't listening to. Perhaps there is more stuff going in than I realize. I'm trying to be a good example to him (and have been criticized for my version of this by other more conservative parents who think I'm not doing it right).
But I still feel there is more that I should be doing as a parent to train my child to follow God - especially in areas that I was left to "sink or swim" like Bible study and practical Christian living. I just don't know how to go about it. It seems everyone else knows - perhaps I just missed that class....?
Watch this space...I might find answers one day if I'm lucky!
Light Worship
While browsing my fave blogs (a morning 1 1/2 hour ritual before the day starts at work), I found Rich had commented on Friday on alt worship ideas (link given via his site).
Over the past week or so I've been putting down on paper a different kind of worship for my church based on the word "light" - just mulling over what elements I'd like to include, how to make it interactive...and if it's going to fly with the worshippers! They generally stick to the contemporary model of opening praise song, prayer and welcome, more songs, offering, leading "down" to softer worship and the sermon, ending with a lively song. Time to try something new! I have yet to get up the courage to ask to lead, but the link above has given me some added inspiration.
So far I have listed some of the following, with more coming - to be used at an evening service:
People ushered in to a dark hall by torchlight. Black plastic ribbons over door to shut off any outside light and give an "entry point" to worship.
Only one elevated candle on stage, as meditation points roll across the screen. (What does light mean to you, were you scared of the dark as a kid, has God given any specific light recently, do you need to ask for light etc). Verses about light included during various parts of the worship. Some great graphics available, to be slotted in here and there.
The worship team (can't leave them out completely at this stage) positioned within the congregation, forming a part of the worship instead of leading it. More guidance than leading, instruments and such off-stage and in with the people. Very little instrumentation - simple stuff, lots of sustained chords.
As different aspects of light are presented, switch on or light a different light - bedside lamps, Christmas lights in the form of a cross or strung across the stage, candles, battery-operated torches, sparklers etc. until the entire hall glows at the end. Backlight objects and project lights onto different surfaces.
Give people a chance to light a candle and ask for God's light at different stations. Take one unlighted candle away to give to someone who needs a ray of light.
Give out glow-in-the-dark lightsticks for people to write prayers in the air or pray using movement. ("watch out for the guy next to you - don't poke anyone's eyes out")
Have found a number of songs that include "light" to either sing collectively or play as a backing. I hope to get my friend's little daughter to sing "this little light of mine", tape it and play it over part of the meditation.
The ideas are coming together, slowly but surely. I'm new to the alt worship idea scene, have yet to try it in practice, but have a vision of what can be. Perhaps I'll get up the courage soon to talk to our worship leader about implementing some of it. Just having fun thinking out possibilities in the meantime.
Would love to hear any other ideas floating around cyberspace!
update::::
Just been looking at some alt worship stuff on the net - and boy do I want to go delete this post, it sounds so simple and basic, nothing outstanding compared to what's going on out there! But have decided never to delete a post once published. Will just resist the urge to tear up my notes. Hey, I'm on a learning curve and I guess I have to start somewhere!:) And I think most of what's being done in alt worship would never work in my church - they'd chuck me out!:) It's just not a thought-option for them, it would blow them out of the water. So perhaps my simple, calm stuff might work...never know...
Over the past week or so I've been putting down on paper a different kind of worship for my church based on the word "light" - just mulling over what elements I'd like to include, how to make it interactive...and if it's going to fly with the worshippers! They generally stick to the contemporary model of opening praise song, prayer and welcome, more songs, offering, leading "down" to softer worship and the sermon, ending with a lively song. Time to try something new! I have yet to get up the courage to ask to lead, but the link above has given me some added inspiration.
So far I have listed some of the following, with more coming - to be used at an evening service:
People ushered in to a dark hall by torchlight. Black plastic ribbons over door to shut off any outside light and give an "entry point" to worship.
Only one elevated candle on stage, as meditation points roll across the screen. (What does light mean to you, were you scared of the dark as a kid, has God given any specific light recently, do you need to ask for light etc). Verses about light included during various parts of the worship. Some great graphics available, to be slotted in here and there.
The worship team (can't leave them out completely at this stage) positioned within the congregation, forming a part of the worship instead of leading it. More guidance than leading, instruments and such off-stage and in with the people. Very little instrumentation - simple stuff, lots of sustained chords.
As different aspects of light are presented, switch on or light a different light - bedside lamps, Christmas lights in the form of a cross or strung across the stage, candles, battery-operated torches, sparklers etc. until the entire hall glows at the end. Backlight objects and project lights onto different surfaces.
Give people a chance to light a candle and ask for God's light at different stations. Take one unlighted candle away to give to someone who needs a ray of light.
Give out glow-in-the-dark lightsticks for people to write prayers in the air or pray using movement. ("watch out for the guy next to you - don't poke anyone's eyes out")
Have found a number of songs that include "light" to either sing collectively or play as a backing. I hope to get my friend's little daughter to sing "this little light of mine", tape it and play it over part of the meditation.
The ideas are coming together, slowly but surely. I'm new to the alt worship idea scene, have yet to try it in practice, but have a vision of what can be. Perhaps I'll get up the courage soon to talk to our worship leader about implementing some of it. Just having fun thinking out possibilities in the meantime.
Would love to hear any other ideas floating around cyberspace!
update::::
Just been looking at some alt worship stuff on the net - and boy do I want to go delete this post, it sounds so simple and basic, nothing outstanding compared to what's going on out there! But have decided never to delete a post once published. Will just resist the urge to tear up my notes. Hey, I'm on a learning curve and I guess I have to start somewhere!:) And I think most of what's being done in alt worship would never work in my church - they'd chuck me out!:) It's just not a thought-option for them, it would blow them out of the water. So perhaps my simple, calm stuff might work...never know...
Monday ramblings
I have a dream to one day own an organic self-sustainable farm - in Australia, not South Africa (with 500+ farm murders a year I wouldn't last a month here as a single white woman, out on my own!). I've been "window-shopping" on the internet and found some lovely remote farms in North New South Wales and elsewhere for sale, really cheap, no buildings (who wants to live in someone else's mistakes anyway), one of them nestled between rolling mountains. I've printed out pictures of one or two and stuck them up in my office to daydream over.
And today I would much rather be there than here! It's a beautiful day outside, much too nice to be stuck in an office. Everyone seems in a bad mood (perhaps it's those solar flares kicking in?), and it's spreading like an infectious disease. I've been feeling more and more left out because I'm "different" - I dread the next encounter with a critic. The administrators are cranky and making the strangest decisions. Students are irritating and irritable, staff are feeling lousy.
This weekend I had a wonderful time out in my garden, caring for my veggie bed, herbs and flowers, sitting enjoying the view (what a view!) and spending time with my son trying to identify the pair of eagles that live around here. I love going home to my little patch of earth, but coming back to the office it feels like a dark cloud descends as I approach it.
So - today I'd rather be farming. Working the earth, watching things grow, caring for beasts, being outdoors (though my sunburn would probably not be too happy about that), building, planning, experimenting, sustaining and just being. I love the feel of warm sun, my muscles working hard, the smell of wet earth, the sounds of nature all around - not another person in sight.
Perhaps it's an escapist mentality. Perhaps it's what I was meant to really be doing. Perhaps it's because I grew up running free in the "wilds" of Zimbabwe, interacting with animals (ie getting chased by buffalo and a rhino or two) and nature, revelling in thunderstorms and arid heat, that I long for a return to a simpler life.
I've been thinking about Darren's tent-making post over at Living Room. For ages now I've been trying to tie in my dream of farming with my dream of worship ministry. Perhaps after all there is a way to do this as a self-supporting worshipper/amateur minister/Christian dreamer, developing back-to-basics "church" in a rural setting with a handful of fellow-travellers on the Christian journey. But I still have to find out if I have what it takes to do either. And THAT is the Big Question!
Some days it's easier to stay in your rut and complain, than step out in faith and do what your heart is crying out for. Other days you'd step out if you could, but seem trapped in circumstances. Right now I'm playing a waiting game - waiting for a migration visa, waiting for God's direction, waiting for enough cash to fulfil dreams, waiting to live. I get frustrated just sitting and waiting. I want action, I want answers, I want direction. I'm tired of waiting, tired of my rut.
And today I'd just rather be farming.
And today I would much rather be there than here! It's a beautiful day outside, much too nice to be stuck in an office. Everyone seems in a bad mood (perhaps it's those solar flares kicking in?), and it's spreading like an infectious disease. I've been feeling more and more left out because I'm "different" - I dread the next encounter with a critic. The administrators are cranky and making the strangest decisions. Students are irritating and irritable, staff are feeling lousy.
This weekend I had a wonderful time out in my garden, caring for my veggie bed, herbs and flowers, sitting enjoying the view (what a view!) and spending time with my son trying to identify the pair of eagles that live around here. I love going home to my little patch of earth, but coming back to the office it feels like a dark cloud descends as I approach it.
So - today I'd rather be farming. Working the earth, watching things grow, caring for beasts, being outdoors (though my sunburn would probably not be too happy about that), building, planning, experimenting, sustaining and just being. I love the feel of warm sun, my muscles working hard, the smell of wet earth, the sounds of nature all around - not another person in sight.
Perhaps it's an escapist mentality. Perhaps it's what I was meant to really be doing. Perhaps it's because I grew up running free in the "wilds" of Zimbabwe, interacting with animals (ie getting chased by buffalo and a rhino or two) and nature, revelling in thunderstorms and arid heat, that I long for a return to a simpler life.
I've been thinking about Darren's tent-making post over at Living Room. For ages now I've been trying to tie in my dream of farming with my dream of worship ministry. Perhaps after all there is a way to do this as a self-supporting worshipper/amateur minister/Christian dreamer, developing back-to-basics "church" in a rural setting with a handful of fellow-travellers on the Christian journey. But I still have to find out if I have what it takes to do either. And THAT is the Big Question!
Some days it's easier to stay in your rut and complain, than step out in faith and do what your heart is crying out for. Other days you'd step out if you could, but seem trapped in circumstances. Right now I'm playing a waiting game - waiting for a migration visa, waiting for God's direction, waiting for enough cash to fulfil dreams, waiting to live. I get frustrated just sitting and waiting. I want action, I want answers, I want direction. I'm tired of waiting, tired of my rut.
And today I'd just rather be farming.
We came, we saw...
....we forgot the sunblock....we will be suffering the effects for a while still...
Had a good day out though. We went on the "free" day of the Cape Horse trials, so not much was going on - just a bit of dressage and jumping, but we got to follow some of the competitors and vote for our favourites.
We also wandered the wine estate, saw 2 extremely cute 3-month-old cheetah cubs and the new eagle/predatory bird section.
The latter made me want to cry - birds that should be free, tied to a post, desperatly wanting to fly, yet restrained. Others in cages, patrolling the length and wanting out. Owls that should have been sleeping high in wind-tossed trees, but were awake and crying for freedom. A huge black eagle that belonged to the skies, soaring high above the mountain peaks, but was confined to a post and small enclosure. I couldn't stay around there too long.
It amazes me that in the name of research God's creatures are tied up, caged in, shown off and subdued. Yes, there are those that need to be loved back to health and strength, but they seem never to make it back to the wild places they love. I could feel their frustration, sense it in their eyes.
The New Earth will be such a joy compared to this!
Had a good day out though. We went on the "free" day of the Cape Horse trials, so not much was going on - just a bit of dressage and jumping, but we got to follow some of the competitors and vote for our favourites.
We also wandered the wine estate, saw 2 extremely cute 3-month-old cheetah cubs and the new eagle/predatory bird section.
The latter made me want to cry - birds that should be free, tied to a post, desperatly wanting to fly, yet restrained. Others in cages, patrolling the length and wanting out. Owls that should have been sleeping high in wind-tossed trees, but were awake and crying for freedom. A huge black eagle that belonged to the skies, soaring high above the mountain peaks, but was confined to a post and small enclosure. I couldn't stay around there too long.
It amazes me that in the name of research God's creatures are tied up, caged in, shown off and subdued. Yes, there are those that need to be loved back to health and strength, but they seem never to make it back to the wild places they love. I could feel their frustration, sense it in their eyes.
The New Earth will be such a joy compared to this!
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